Posted By AnnaK on 17 Mar 2011 03:30 PM
Yeah, it is the same INTJ I keep discussing ad nauseum. I can't confront him. I don't live by him and I am only 80% certain it is really going on. It's a long story and frankly, I'm sick of hearing myself talk about it. I'm pretty sure he hacked my smartphone and/or pc. Evidentally it is easy to do? I can't call the police because I don't think there would be any proof. Anyway, I'm a pretty boring person, so there is not really anything exciting for him to discover. And he hasn't stolen from me or anything. If he had actually stolen from me, I'd call the police. It pisses me off because I keep emailing him, and he rarely replies to my emails. And it pisses me off because it seems like he is trying to drive me crazy, and succeeding.... That's why I went the passive aggressive route. I don't know, like I said, I am getting sick of discussing it. I feel pretty stupid looking for help on online forums.

I just don't get it. I used to email him all of the time. I am an open book. I am very boring. No reason at all to spy on me, except if he learned how to hack for some other reason, and then decided to hack other people too. He just got divorced. I have read people going through divorce often spy on each other to get dirt for the custody battle. He could have learned how to do it for that, and then, it was so easy, why not do it to other people too? He is really smart. And he might have been angry with me because when we first started working together I Googled him and told him and he seemed a little angry about it. He later said he was only angry because I told other people in the office about this cool stuff he does on the side, but I think he was angry that I invaded his privacy.

What's amazing is, even though I am so open and he hacked my phone, he seems to COMPLETELY misunderstand me. I think he thinks I am more exotic than I am or something.

*jaw drops*
 

Is this guy still posting here?

*shivers*

I think I might have it. When his world was falling apart, he needed a distraction, a dog to kick. I was that dog. Now that his divorce is final, and he has another job, he is getting on with his life and no longer needs a dog to kick.

I also think because his self-esteem was so low, and I liked him so much, he thought I must be a loser. I don't think I am a loser, but I'm okay with him thinking that.

Is this guy still posting here?

*shivers*

Posted By PurpleGiraffe on 17 Mar 2011 04:36 PM

No, I don't think you are a nutjob. You just sound drained. Oftentimes it is just better to let something go. I mean, really, what do you get from this guy? I would recommend sitting down and weighing it out, because I think once it comes down to it, you will see that the list of reasons to leave the situation completely is probably far greater in size than the list to stay involved. Besides, I think the mental energy you might be exerting for this guy might be holding you back. If you are finding yourself exhausted then that is a lot of energy that could be used for something much healthier and far more stable and ultimately better for you.

And you're welcome! Anytime!

Not to beat a dead horse, but I did get a lot out out of talking to this guy.  Even though he never said much, when he did talk, he usually had a totally unique take on things that I never heard from anyone else.  And usually his take was dead on accurate.  He seemed really smart and good at making decisions.  It's kinda sad to think I'll never talk to him again.   I don't thnk he's evil.    He was playing a game and it got out of hand, I think.   I really think he is a good person deep down.   Just under a lot of stress, and too good with computers.   I'm not tempted to hack because I don't know how to do it.   If you're super smart, it would take willpower. 

Anna, I have no doubt that at one point you got a lot from talking to this guy, but really there are a lot of other intelligent, unique guys out there, and you should find one who can and does appreciate you. I realize it sucks to not have certain people in your life. I miss talking to specific people too, but discontinuing talking to this guy for awhile doesn't necessarily mean that he has to be completely out of your life for the rest of your life. I mean, who really knows what might happen a few years from now? However, what does appear to matter is that this guy definitely doesn't seem right for your life RIGHT NOW. So, go out, talk to people who don't hack your stuff, violate your space and feelings, and make you feel nuts, because those people are much better for you at this point.

I appreciate your responses PurpleGiraffe, but while this has been very strange, I've had much, much worse things happen to me. I'm not that fragile. I'll be fine. :-)

My advice is to completely cut him from your life and thoughts.

I have to agree with Nadette here. Just cut him out. If he's not making an effort than neither should you.

 

Are NTs always like this?

Heavens no! There are two scenarios I fall in but generally if a.) I take awhile to respond, then you are low on my radar or I am trying to indicate that I am not interested or b.) I respond SUPER quickly then I really like you. I will/would send like a thousand e-mails if I like you back and you show that you like me back and respond in kind.