I've noticed in myself, and also in the forum here lately, that I, and other ENFPs, seem to need stress and challenge and excitement in our lives.  (I'm going to speak generally and use the pronoun "we" in this post.  Bear in mind that I am generalizing.)  We are terrified of growing bored and often do grow bored.  We love to be challenged and try new things.  We seem to seek emotional excitement.

 

Lately, I've been rather busy and strung out.....I teach elementary music part time, substitute teach the rest of the time, and am directing the high school musical in another district.  I've also been contributing to a collaborative art project and recently played in a pit orchestra.  Additionally, I've been making plans to attend grad school this summer in a city out of state and have been puzzling over an awkward romantic-y kind of a situation.  

 

Soooo, I have a lot to think about and do and my creativity is being challenged and I'm working with people and helping myself and others reach their potential.  But, I am also stressed and strung out, and lately, I've been thinking about this and all the irony involved.  

 

Last year, when I had nothing to do and no direction, I was ferociously depressed.  Now, I'm doing a lot of things that I like, but it is kind of overwhelming and I crave calm and peace.  I'm realizing that I invite stress into my life on purpose because I actually want it....and/or I'm afraid of growing bored.

 

My question is: how do you properly challenge yourself and satisfy that need for excitement without losing your sanity and/or sense of calm.  I feel like too much stress is unhealthy.  What is the balance?  Do more mature ENFPs have coping methods they have figured out?

 

P.S. I'm thinking that part of the answer may lie in experiencing more satisfying social interactions.  I'm in an area of the country where there are not a lot of peers that I relate to.  My best friends are long distance... 

Yes - we seem to need to keep our brain occupied with new stuff all the time. I'm often described as a self indulgent ADHD type with no patience!

I am self-employed and setup a new company every couple of years or so (occasionally selling off ones too) and I have had "several" career changes despite almost always being self employed. I also work on the internet, so this gives me lots of new ideas to explore. I also spend a lot of time on twitter - which connects me to new people, ideas and events all of the time! I recommend it - a lot of people I know on twitter are ENFP or ENFJ types

Good questions Nadette...I wish I had an answer for them! I think us ENFPs as you say sort of invite this kind of tumult into our lives. It can take the form of trying to do too much at once and comitting emotionally to a million things until we've spread ourselves thin and feel ready to scream.>>>!!!!....or else sometimes it can take the form of procrasination, i.e. we know we're creative geniuses so we push our tasks into the future in order to enjoy the present and then when the deadline looms over us we find ourselves scrambling to get things together all while feeling a certain sense of dejavu. Just another way of creating chaos out of calm.

I'm not sure how we bundle our emotionally ADD selves into a more mature, focused whole. I've heard people suggest meditation or other exercises that increase our focus (Ta, Fe, Si? Do Ray Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do?? As you can see I'm too distractable to have actually learned the type prefixes and what they signify..)

Right now my strategy is to apply some judgement when my brain explodes into its natural "enthusiasm-for-the-million-possbilities-around-me"-mode and try to let go of some things that when I really think about it, I don't need. I think we have to basicially eyeball the enormous heap of projects and goals that we're capable of assembling in an instant and cut it in half, then cut that pile in half, then divide by three and you'll still have more on your plate than the average person and plenty of fulfillment. In your particular case maybe you can take a hard look at all the things you do and decide if maybe there's one thing within all the substitute teaching, directng, and collaborating that you do but don't NEED, or at least don't need as much as you need a little bit of serenity. Make a choice to take a break from that thing and then revel in and relish that new free time. Make it your calming, green-tea, cross-legged me-time. That free space in your busy schedule might help you feel like you own your time and make you feel a little more balanced.

 

*This post has been brought to you by wine.*

*This post has been brought to you by wine.*

Heh, that made me smile.

I know for me personally it is all about balancing everything, and not just about how full my schedule is. When I first moved states, I had no friends but was busy all the time with work, and was the most depressed I have ever been. But I know I also get depressed when I don't have enough to do or enough direction. And I get depressed when I don't have good friends and meaningful interaction. Heh, I'm re-reading this and I'm realizing I'm making it sound like everything depresses me, but it isn't really like that. Balance is really important, and I've been slowly iterating to a state where I feel balanced. For me personally, I know it requires certain things. Some things are simple: getting lots of sleep, exercising daily, eating right. Other things I've sort of discovered through trial and error: getting out to the mountains, having meaningful social interactions, having projects at work that move forward, if even only slightly, doing something creative, taking at least 15 minutes out of the day where I do nothing except let my mind wander -- my "calming, green-tea, cross-legged me-time."

I ask myself: what am I getting out of this? and: am I getting something I need? a lot. It helps me filter through all the new experiences and decide which work and which don't. I love having a full life, but it seems like there's this line, and once I cross it into "too full" territory I start to get miserable. I'm getting better over time at recognizing where that line is and reining in when I get to it, but its mostly been a trial-and-error process of recognizing when I've over-extended myself and saying: "note to self: don't do that again."

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone! Yeah, there was one night in particular where I was really hyper and stressed and I told myself that before I went to bed I was going to make a drawing, write a poem, and read a chapter out of my book. The drawing and poem were terrible and the chapter was great! I felt better though. It really is all about balance. I think the main problem right now is the dissatisfying social scene. Where are all the young professionals? I'm ok with everything else in my life, but I'm thinking about moving just so I can have more friend opportunities. I wouldn't feel the need to fill up all my time if I had fun people to hang out with. So, I've been trying to brainstorm ideas for bringing more young professionals to my rural area. Any ideas? I would need to create jobs that involve intelligence and creativity, but I'm not sure how to go about doing that. Maybe some kind of non-profit tutoring or arts education program? Think, think, think....

Just an example...During my studying for my university exams (I left it to the last minute as always) I discovered that louis vuitton did agendas... I got soooooo estastic and childlike about it (i wouldnt be able to afford such a thing without passing the exam was hours away) I wasted at least 2 hours choosing what colour and what style I would buy (were talking 3 years until I qualify). I was like a child at christmas!! I couldn't concentrate on studying until 'the fear' set in (the time approx 2hours before exams when panic sets in and the OMG feeling starts to make me feel sick and I STUDY HARD)....
So yes...I need stress to be able to do something important (sigh will I never learn) xxx

yeah with study i always, always, always left it until there wasnt enough time to study properly. Why study, this shiny new thing is much more interesting. It still worked though, which wasnt a good thing cos it meant i kept doing it. And its carried over to work as well, I need to feel the stress of a deadline or the feeling that Iam way too busy before i am at my most productive (at which point i bang out all that work no problem, wonder why i cant be that productive all the time, and go straight back to doing something way more interesting than boring old work).

A new challenge or difficulty is the greatest thing ever, cos it means i am gonna learn something new and have to stress myself to get something done. Of course, half way through when you feel like you have that challenge worked out you fall straight back into boredom mode (why do i have to finish this? i get it now, can someone else do the boring bits instead?)

I agree with a balance needed of work,rest, exercise, eating the right foods and socialising. I am waaaaay out of balance at the moment.