Yes...it happens. Sure, we're wonderful, happy people most of the time, but everyone has their angry times. I'm not talking the cranky, but still funny ENFP that gripes about "that one guy at work who DRIVES ME CRAZY!" as they grab a pillow and punch it a few times, then throw it on the floor and step on it.

>.> Let's talk about ultimate rage.

I'll let some other people post before I put in my full 2 cents...but let me just say this first:

We're exceptionally good at learning about people. We know all of your strengths. We know your weaknesses. >.> One of our greatest tools is empathy...and we use it to attempt to manipulate other people to understand our point of view as well...but under extreme emotion, it becomes a weapon.

If an ENFP is hurt and angry...we know just the right thing to say to the person who hurt us to make them feel just the same.

Posted By alysaria on 07 Aug 2009 07:35 AM
Yes...it happens. Sure, we're wonderful, happy people most of the time, but everyone has their angry times. I'm not talking the cranky, but still funny ENFP that gripes about "that one guy at work who DRIVES ME CRAZY!" as they grab a pillow and punch it a few times, then throw it on the floor and step on it.

>.> Let's talk about ultimate rage.

I'll let some other people post before I put in my full 2 cents...but let me just say this first:

We're exceptionally good at learning about people. We know all of your strengths. We know your weaknesses. >.> One of our greatest tools is empathy...and we use it to attempt to manipulate other people to understand our point of view as well...but under extreme emotion, it becomes a weapon.

If an ENFP is hurt and angry...we know just the right thing to say to the person who hurt us to make them feel just the same.

Good God I never knew that. I didn't even know I knew people's strengths and weaknesses, only what they like/dislike.

I have a very long fuse attached to a very large bomb.

Yesterday was one of the most frustrating days of my career. A deadline I was given for a massive project was moved up from EOD monday to today at noon. On top of this I was filling in for a coworker who was on vacation. He sent me the latest copies because the reports I had to run for him are cumulative. Well, they were missing the previous week so that was 8 queries to run that each take an hour.

I worked from 8am yesterday to after 2am this morning and got about 2 hours of sleep. I was back at it this morning at 6am so that I could meet this new deadline. Needless to say I hate the world right now. If my coworker was actually here right now I would maim him. Severely. I want blood.

I found myself focusing on stupid details of this project that just delayed me even more. It's like a form of procrastination. I have in such an analytical job in which I am really not well suited and it takes me a very long time to get my brain in that mode, so procrastination happens a LOT.

This is so disjointed. After I take a nap I will try to elaborate more.

Awareness of power makes one more inclined to use it, and that doesn't mesh with our values. >.> Kind of like how we always seem to forget specific examples of all the mean things people we care about say to us... until we're mad at them. Then it sits in our minds, rolling around with every other annoying thing that person has ever done until words just bubble up into your mouth and you just HAVE to confront them. RIGHT NOW! >< That's about the point where we shout something that makes no sense...then try to huff away...then turn around and tear into them about how big of a jerk they are. The more upset an ENFP is, the more likely we are to try to share our feelings. >.> Just like when we're happy and want to share our joy with the world....only not so sunshine-y.

>.> You don't want to know that you have the power to emotionally cripple someone you care about...but when you're not thinking clearly and don't feel like the other person cares, it can lash out and cause some serious emotional wounding.

Posted By alysaria on 07 Aug 2009 08:56 AM
Awareness of power makes one more inclined to use it, and that doesn't mesh with our values. >.> Kind of like how we always seem to forget specific examples of all the mean things people we care about say to us... until we're mad at them. Then it sits in our minds, rolling around with every other annoying thing that person has ever done until words just bubble up into your mouth and you just HAVE to confront them. RIGHT NOW! >< That's about the point where we shout something that makes no sense...then try to huff away...then turn around and tear into them about how big of a jerk they are. The more upset an ENFP is, the more likely we are to try to share our feelings. >.> Just like when we're happy and want to share our joy with the world....only not so sunshine-y.

>.> You don't want to know that you have the power to emotionally cripple someone you care about...but when you're not thinking clearly and don't feel like the other person cares, it can lash out and cause some serious emotional wounding.

My ex-husband knows all about that

I wouldn't get anything out of conciously crippling someone. The ENFP that does must have horrendous issues

Marmot. He must have had terrible issues there.

Posted By aprilla on 07 Aug 2009 09:44 AM
I wouldn't get anything out of conciously crippling someone. The ENFP that does must have horrendous issues

Marmot. He must have had terrible issues there.

That's just it...it's not conscious. That's what makes it so horrible. This happens when we *aren't* thinking about how our words will come across. >< This is like extreme anger, where you're pushed passed the point of being rational

So if I was doing it, how would I ever know, if someone don't state how they feel, I could be doing it right now for all I know.

I've only been this angry once as an adult >.> As a child, I was prone to throwing tantrums when I'd get in trouble to cause as much havok as I could and get attention...then I'd cower under the bed and, crying, tell my parents that they hated me... (Did I forget to mention ENFPs are manipulative...even if it's usually for a good cause?)

>.> A few years ago, my INFP friend had a bf who was a complete tool. I didn't like him, but some well-meaning people told me not to tell her that or I'd ruin my friendship. I bottled up my feelings...and not being able to tell her what I really felt when I was so used to being open with her...it got ot me. And she noticed. >< Not good at hiding emotions...and I started to get angry at her for not being able to tell her how I felt (the EwNFP I worked with didn't help - the gossipy manipulator). There was also alot going on with the manager at our work being a beeeeeeeyotch and the INFP was already having issues with her bf. Long story short, emotions got high, tempers got short, and we had a few fights. INFPs are remarkably sensitive...so practically anything can hurt them...but I found myself verbally throwing things at her that probably cut pretty deep.

It's easy for us to get over things...once you have a dialogue with the person and get your feelings out and acknowledged... But the battlescars we leave don't generally heal so easily for other types.

Posted By aprilla on 07 Aug 2009 09:44 AM
I wouldn't get anything out of conciously crippling someone. The ENFP that does must have horrendous issues

Marmot. He must have had terrible issues there.

*I* had the terrible issues. He had plenty of issues on his own.

The biggest destroyer of relationships for an ENFP is lack of communication. The second is the other person being mean

One of the things I have learned is brutal honesty. It's really hard as hell to do, and makes me want to vomit, but I have found that it really is worth it in the long run. Otherwise it eats me up inside and I start playing the avoiding game.

Also, mean people suck. I just don't understand why some people are honored by their "asshole" status.

>< The worst thing in the world is to get steamrolled by an ENTP in a critical mood.

Oh man. I am generally very caring and kind. But so... yea... part of being an ENFP is an uncanny ability to know people, and that translates into knowing exactly what to say that would be absolutely crushing to that person. There have been only a couple times I've ever been that angry... but man it was nasty. Whew.

When I get very very very mad. Like someone slapped my sister mad; I see red, literary. I think a red hue overtakes my vision and I want blood. I think we enfps can become violent but it takes a long time for us to get there. I guess like anyone else.

Posted By sbalbom on 07 Aug 2009 10:45 PM
When I get very very very mad. Like someone slapped my sister mad; I see red, literary. I think a red hue overtakes my vision and I want blood. I think we enfps can become violent but it takes a long time for us to get there. I guess like anyone else.

ENFPs are the most even-tempered of all the types...and I'm pretty sure we're the hardest to really make angry. It would only make sense that a) like everything else, our anger is full-throttle and fuelled by all of our energy b) all of the stress it takes to finally make an ENFP snap has built up...and that's alot to come roaring out all at once c) I don't know about other ENFPs, but I have a safety in place to prevent violence...where anger is diverted into sadness to keep me from hurting anyone. However, under enough stress, that safety will fail, and all of my caring for people and my desire to not cause harm will be overshadowed by pure rage. At this point, a crazy psychotic bitch takes over my body and could care less about hurting anyone's precious feelings.

I don't know about other ENFPs, but I have a safety in place to prevent violence...where anger is diverted into sadness to keep me from hurting anyone.

that's... remarkable. I've actually noticed the opposite going on in other people; my dad (ESTJ) actually seems to convert all of his feelings into anger, to avoid feeling weak (or maybe for some other reason, but I dunno). I've never known anyone who goes in your direction, but I like it a lot more.

Are the ENFP guys the same as lys here, or is she just "safer" to do that, as a girl?

ENFPs are the most even-tempered of all the types...

^^whaaat? lol, what about your INTJs?

An angry INTJ will explode. >.> You don't want to be ANYWHERE in the vicinity.

when i get angry i go CRAZY. and then hurt whoever hurt me...or whoevers around >.> its happened maybe 4, maybe 5 times? with my boyfirned at the time, he was a control freak and i always thought up excuses for him...crazy stuff lol i reaad somewhere here this is the intuition coming up with nonsense excuses, excuse factory or something.. anytyway i would lose control literally and i could never walk away, instead i would keep, pretending to then coming back for the lsat word lol ^^ he always brought out the worst in me even though i kept trying so hard to forgive, srsly i always had a reason for him until those times he made me blow my top often in front of people he embarassed me in front of...and yet, he is a good man, dont ask me how but its true, he made mistakes but then i was a bit loose screw too!! lol ^^ i am glad its over tho..we didnt help to grow each other

i am glad its over tho..we didnt help to grow each other

Sorry about the BF/ *hug*. But you hit the nail on the head. In order for a relationship to do well it has to be based on something that doesn't change, something other then convenience, sex or money. It has to be based on values, improvement and self betterment. The everything else is transitory.