Hahaha....yeah, I rarely get angry at people, but when I do, I hold a grudge. I then go Count of Monte Cristo on their ass and pretty much use all of my sway and charm and manipulation to ruin everything for them. I can be terribly vindictive and childish in my anger. I have never really exercised physical violence against anyone who wasn't my brother or sister, but I have caused some pretty terrible things to happen to people. I do get a lot of evil plots that are never hatched. I can be downright sadistic in my cruel creativity. It would be accurate to say that I don't get revenge, but rather launch a whole crusade against the dark forces of evil and that my actions are necessary and for the good of the world at large.

I do get cranky at times though. When I'm woken up early, tired, or excessively hungry I can be pretty cranky and have been known to snap at people.

I am a male ENFP and like alyssaria, I find I generally direct negative feelings inward into sadness vs outward into anger. I rather envy types that direct outward: it seems like it would be a lot easier. My brother (INFJ) is like that: he can get angry at other people while being blissfully oblivious of his own role.

I rarely do get angry, and most plots for revenge never truly hatch. That's ok: they say the best revenge is living well.

I have learned to administer a tongue-lashing to thicker-headed individuals that don't seem to get anything else, including shouting. But inside I'm pretty calm about the whole thing.

Alright, so what is making some of you angry?

Having to keep our feelings to ourselves. >< Bad boyfriends/girlfriends of our close friends are a big one. We don't want to cause conflict, but we really don't like the SO of a friend. It builds and builds until we EXPLODE!

Threatening someone we care about. >.> That will put an ENFP into a berserk bloodrage.

Feeling boxed in/unable to express ourselves. If it seems like someone is intentionally holding us down, it can either make us depressed or enraged, based on various factors.

Being patronized irks me, but it would take a lot to push me to rage.

I find I generally direct negative feelings inward into sadness vs outward into anger.

Wow I never thought of it that way... *reflecting*

I agree with all the above, and a PMS ENFP under stress becomes .. * peeps behind door with a twisted smile* ...'Here's Johnny'....It's not very nice, but sadly, it can occur. Think ISTJ gone wrong.

 

 

omg. I VERY rarely ever get angry, but when I do, it's BAD.
I was in health class one time, taught by this coach I DESPISE, and he was talking to all of these football players when we were done with the lesson. They casually mentioned that someone in the class had attacked my cousin (who is small, weak and has terrible health problems). I was like "What? Who hurt him?? Why did you do that?!" (I wasn't listening to the conversation until up to that point). The coach looks at me, and in this loud, angry, demanding-respect type voice, he goes "SHUT UP MELANIE, NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU". I got so. freaking. angry. I did nothing. I just sat there, in the back of the room. Everyone went on with the conversation, so it took them a few minutes to notice the seething ball of rage that made up my being at that point. After class, a girl pulled me to the side and begged me not to hurt anyone. It was so bad. >_<

It's even worse when I'm NOT quiet. My uncle angers me, and I've made him cry twice. He doesn't realize how much I can see through him.

That's the ENFP Champion rage. An INFP gets fired up for a cause greater than themselves. An ENFP gets fired up in defense of a people. We could be up against the biggest, scariest dude on earth and it wouldn't matter.

>.> and power.... >< patronizing and mistrust irk me too. What we do directly relates to who we are....so acting as though we aren't trustworthy or capable is like a direct attack on our character. It's frustrating, but I suppose it's something that has to be faced until you're on your own.

Oh, don't even get me started. I have gotten into so many fights over my ESFP best friend. She is SO weak-minded and it gets her into a lot of jams, that I always seem to have to be the one that gets her out of them. People use her so much and it just infuriates me, even if she brings it upon herself.

 It has been a while since I have felt anger, but it feels like yesterday since I have felt rage. I will not go into great detail, but I remember being so angry at a man that my head pounded, my heart raced, and my esophagus felt like it was going to burst from out of my chest. Pulses of electricity flowed uncontrollably from my nervous system that I could not contain my hands from shaking. My breathing became shallow causing me to see spots, and nausea began to overwhelm me. I then found myself focusing on this man who set me over the edge. I logged into a terminal at my work, and I let my rattled hands type out what I could not express in speech. I murdered him…on paper. I thought about the little details that would let the literary violence I had unleashed on this man make the situation ironic.

 

          When I had re-read my work, I had realized that it was not this man that made my blood boil; it was the fact that I had subjected myself to an illusion of power. This particular incident made me think later on in the week. I found an understanding that there are demons in this world, and my demons are my own rage, anxiety, ignorance, and fear. One day I will overcome these torrents, until then, here’s to Valium. 

Calmness in the storm if my greatest strength. Why should I remain calm? Because each is great in their own place.

 

Ah, yes the bitchslap.

I so rarely go here.  But when I did, I destroyed a friendship with someone I cared much for.  They had hurt me and I lashed out horrifically.  I am a monster.  I dont normally do this to hurt people.  Hurting people is so very, incredibly wrong.  But I hurt my friend very much.  Yup, we have a beast hiding within us.

 

Don't repress your anger or try to hide it from the person you're angry with. It's the buildup of pressure that makes us explode so terribly and shred the emotions of others. >.>

My ENFP sister comes off as really expressive, which I thought meant that she always expressed her feelings and I was shocked to discover that she actually bottles up a lot of her anger. She hardly ever actually "loses it", but when she does I know that it's time to hide in the shed....

 

When I'm angry I really can't control myself. I'm not aggressive and rarely lose my self control, but when I do I actually fear myself.

Things I've done whilst being angry:

- Once I was holding a glass of beer while watching my favorite soccer team on TV. Something really bad happened and without even noticing it I started squeezing the glass and it broke into a thousand pieces right in my hand.

- I was so angry at my dad once (because he got drunk at the middle of the day) that I give him an enormous bitchslap straight into his face without any warning whatsoever.

- I got an email from a teacher (while still being at high school) which said that I had failed an exam. I broke the screen of my Macbook with my fist.

- I got a phone call from my mother who said that my neighbor had only 2 months to live because of cancer. I kicked an enormous dent in the door of the refrigerator.

- During volleyball practice I missed a very easy ball and a teammate of mine said something about it. After the practice in the dressing room I threw the recycle bin on his head.



Mind you, those aren't things that I'm proud of. Not in the least bit. Normally I wouldn't tell anyone about these things because I'm really ashamed about it, but judging by other posts I'm not the only one with this problem. I'm getting better though. Just last tuesday a female friend of mine called by new gf a very bad word (a Dutch word that isn't even translatable into English). I felt another fit of rage coming up, but I was able to leave the room without anything happening.

I wonder if the fact that ENFPs tend to be emotional manipulators is one reason why they are so well paired with INTJs, who probably will not respond to emotional ploys. It seems that this effectively removes the ENFPs most unhealthful weapon. I hate to bring INTJs into this discussion though, there are already so many of them on this forum. It's like INTJ Forums playground where all the INTJs go to play with ENFP's when they're bored.

Well, now that you have spoken of emotional manipulation.
One of the worst things an enfp can begin doing is well the manipulation.
It stems from that you want to be, you need to be liked. And you somehow can't deal with it when someone does not like you. Then you begin to manipulate. And this destroys everything.
Every time you do something just because so that somebody likes you, please stop. It comes with maturity to be able to deal with someone who rejects us.

Manipulation can not make you a more confident person. Manipulation will, if anything at all, make you a less confident person. You might get what you "want", but in truth you are just needy.
If you resort to manipulation, then the "need" for something has likely gone out of hand and has become an obsession.

If you always think that you are unlikeable (and therefore only can get people to like you through manipulation), then you will stay unlikeable. If you want to become more likable, than you have to think how a likable person does.

-nod- That's right. These days when someone doesn't like me, I vent to my closest friends about how big of a jerk they are....and then I get over it. Of course my friends understand that venting is venting and give me the sympathetic nod without bursting my bubble about how ridiculous it is to think someone's mean just because they don't like me. They know I'll get to that point on my own, and it is probably a pretty amusing show watching me get there.