-_-;;;; One bad relationship with an uncompromising ISTJ doesn't mean that all S types are going to be unwilling/unable to meet Ns halfway.

 How are we suppose to PM on this forum?

I'd like to PM alysaria.. lol (my aim is LiquidBlaze76)

[end of awkward message] 

My dad is an INTJ, and well... and even being an INTJ myself, my childhood relationship with him was decent at the best of times. Now entering into my 20s he has a lot of respect for me, but it doesn't matter - because very early on, I stopped caring about his expectations.

I agree this would be hellish for almost any son of non-NT type. My advice? Find a different father figure more inline with your values. 

I do think INTJ dad / ENFP daughter would work just fine though!

[got your aim info alysaria]

My father gave my brother lots of space growing up He had 3 daughters to smother. >.>

These days they have playful political debates and the most random discussions....that are hysterical because of how seriously they consider them. Like, they once questioned how you could measure the length of your digestive system with a string tied to something. The question of what ended with corn...and laughter.

Oh guys. Geez.

I married an ENFP... the major reason that we got together is because he was so charismatic and socially outgoing, spent so much effort to win me over... I'm introverted beyond reason, so he did a lot of the coaxing in every aspect of our relationship. He initiated, I liked what he was offering, I began to really like him, I fell in love with him. That whole time, I wasn't leaving our interaction entirely up to him, I just acknowledge that he was doing a lot of emotional and conversational work to allow me to be more comfortable with myself and with him. He would invite me to talk about something or consider one of his interests, and I would share things I found interesting or exciting and we could mutually enjoy our time together because we were both putting forth the effort to show that we wanted to be in the other person's life, in their thoughts, in their heart. We wanted to get to know each other better.

SOMEONE has to have the courage to do this, to extend, to "reach out and touch someone" initially. Then, when one hesitates or seems withdrawn the other has to pick up the slack and put forth extra effort. Introvert or extrovert, makes no difference if you want the relationship to thrive, that is your motivation and so you will be more than willing to do it if you even remotely care about a person, let alone like them or love them.

Someone has to do it, if it ain't gonna be the extrovert, then holy #@#% and to be most truthful he already DID that, he already TRIED. He initiated and waited, waited, waited.

ENFP needs you to show the same courtesy back and be consistent about it, regardless of who you are, it's a skill you must master. Not give funny looks (unless they're the funny-haha kind and he knows they're funny and laughs, but if they're strange looks, blank looks or negative looks- uh uh). Not hesitate to start a conversation. Not pass him in the hallway without stopping to talk.

It's common sense.

When others put on a brave face for you, the least you can do is break a sweat for them, go explore the unknown that is the other person.

When someone seems upset, especially when you're interested in them, it's not useful to say nothing and wonder. It's useful to actually ask that other human being over there, who does have feelings too ya know- "How are you?" "Ya wanna talk about it?" "What's up?" and if they don't want to talk about themselves, you can talk about some movie you just saw with your friends or some place you wish you could travel to, etc, be a human being... being solitary is overrated. I thought I'd be celibate and alone my entire life, then someone came along and showed me what I had to do to change that outcome to something I now know I much prefer to fearful isolation.

When someone seems upset, especially when you're interested in them, it's not useful to say nothing and wonder. It's useful to actually ask that other human being over there, who does have feelings too ya know- "How are you?" "Ya wanna talk about it?" "What's up?" and if they don't want to talk about themselves, you can talk about some movie you just saw with your friends or some place you wish you could travel to, etc, be a human being... being solitary is overrated. I thought I'd be celibate and alone my entire life, then someone came along and showed me what I had to do to change that outcome to something I now know I much prefer to fearful isolation.

UUUUgh. I am in love with the this last pargraph! That may be the most beautiful thing I've read all day. And to add to the thread, I honestly think that INTJ's are awesome best friends for their clarity and stellar advice. They are like an anchor to my wobbling ship, I breeze all over the seven seas in thought and feeling and they keep my path straight.  They put a check on my emotions. However, I have yet to meet an NT (and I truely believe it doesn't exist with an NT)  who can provide me with the emotional availability that I require ,which is a whole hell of a lot, in a romantic relationship.  I've always thought an ENFJ would be best suited for me, and as chance would have it, I just met/ hit on one when I went on a traveling spree. He has just about the most amazing extraverted feeling function I've ever come across. It fascinates me-- his ability to "shape shift", entirely losing his own emotions in the feelings of others. He is uncanny at feeling the temperature of our conversations and is always quick to address the slightest .1 degree in change in my tone. I love to watch his Ni sort out with sniper accuracy what his Fe caught in the conversation. Ugh, interesting! I've never dated anyone who can read people as well as I can, and I have to admit it's slightly annoying, as I'm always used to being the one with the near psychic ability. But it's also beautiful and fascinating. We just sit there and "feeeeeeeeel" everything. haha the NT's I've dated just get annoyed.

However, I have yet to meet an NT (and I truely believe it doesn't exist with an NT)  who can provide me with the emotional availability that I require ,which is a whole hell of a lot, in a romantic relationship.

We just sit there and "feeeeeeeeel" everything. haha the NT's I've dated just get annoyed.

Yes, I do have to agree, NF-NF relationships... are intense. This is my first time that I have seen (he's not my boyfriend as of now because we both don't know where we're headed) a fellow NF so my experience is slightly limited. But it can be slightly draining, to be honest.  But so can always grasping for more emotional availability from an NT, which can lead to frustration/ being wounded. I actually prefer an SF to an NT. SF's are super loyal, fun, take care of the practicles ("Where's your phone?" "Did you eat today, or have you only worked?")  and they have this gosh amazing ability to ground my intuitive hurricane and provide stability and clarity. Albeit, I did feel like part of my N side died a painful death when their eyes glaze over during my NF riddled thoughts. Bah. I am curious to explore more with this NF. It is quite intense... but I could drink up the feeling.