I'm awesome.  No, really I am.  Am I absurdly confident? No. I have moments of self doubt/ dislike, but generally, I think I'm pretty stellar; thus, let's go with genuinely confident.  I'm not into a false sense of humility; I have no problem with saying what I'm good at. I'm great at meeting people, teaching, loving people, making people feel valued, and am very inspirational.  I'm intelligent, funny, warm, very talented, and also, happen to be very good looking. I don't see that as being arrogant, I see that as being honest and knowing myself. The way I look at is, I so willingly verbally praise all my friends for everything that makes them special, why not shower myself with the same praise?  I could also tell you what I absolutely suck at: making decisions, being too independent, can be impatient, being terminally late, I tend to believe the good in people when it's not there and I could be the messiest person on the planet. I'm a work in progress. 

I recently got into a discussion with an INFJ who I think is pretty awesome, and she was talking about how she admired the way I confidently meet so many people and am so free (i.e dancing in the middle of the dance floor when no one else is dancing, simply because I "feel like dancing now"). She then explained that she always just felt pretty average (though she is way brilliant and cute) and honestly,  it caused me to look at her funny. ha.  She explained that she literally views herself as fairly average (which she is hardly).  .  And when she meets other people, she assumes that they will think of her the same, that she is pretty average. Even if she sees someone whom she thinks is cool, she usually won't go and start a conversation with them because of that.  . whaaaaaaaa?  I couldn't relate. I've never thought of myself as just "plain." When I approach someone that I've never met, I will only think about how awesome that new person will think I am, and they 99% of the time do.  And then they tell me "Wow, I've never met anyone like you before."  I think that way before I give a public speech-- that everyone will be impressed with my insight and heart. It gives me a lot of freedom of self and allows me to approach and meet anyone who I think is cool without fear.  Recently, I was asked out by a lead singer of a very popular indie band. I was slightly nervous and then I literally thought "well sweet, he can get to see how friggin awesome I am" and that cured the nerves.  That's why I so confidently approach and ask guys out frequently, because I sincerely believe that they'd be quite lucky to know me,  I'm awesome.  Ugh rereading that makes me sound like a fucking prick, but in the name of honestly, science and curiosity,  I'll share that and let it be what it is... You guys can weigh in... 

My self confidence was damaged in high school a bit - so I pretty much think I'm passably pretty and that I *could* be downright hot if I cared enough to doll myself up. (Although I just bought a sexy vintage red trenchcoat...gonna get a red fedora and then I'll be one hawt Carmen Sandiego lol - which I'll definitely take pics of so Saul can make another pic like that Zoey one. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? RIGHT HERE! Blah. Random). Aaaanyway, I don't really consider much when I meet new people....it's not really a thinking process. It's just "HEY! Talk to me! Wow, you're cool, now I'm gonna chat with you like I've known you for years" and somehow it's not offputting to alot of people. Usually it's an out of the blue observation or a comment on how silly I probably look doing whatever it is I'm doing at the time....and since I generally think I look silly...yea.... I do definitely understand how other people can read ENFP confidence as arrogance....from a personal experience over on personalitycafe. I jokingly called a thread "It's so hard being so sexy " because I was curious about how other ENFPs dealt with spontaneous crushes. An INFP who had a bad experience with an ENFP ripped into me for being a diva O.O it was pretty harsh. I ended up having a mod kill and bury the thread because of how hostile it got. ^_^ It's great being an ENFP....except when you're in the middle of taking a test you were SUPPOSED to study for the night before....and your brain locks up on the one question you swear you knew the answer to, but suddenly every piece of information you had on the whole subject has leaked out and you just want to break down and cry in the middle of class. >.>

So I think anyone who writes a post like this, is only looking for one thing:

ENFP Gal... GOOD NEWS, not all ENFPs are like this..  it's just you! You're even more awesome than you can imagine! OMG!!! Lead singer from an INDIE BAND!?! You're awesome! Dancing ALONE on the dance floor??

Who's awesome??? You are!! http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/937/awesome.jpg

 

In all seriousness you seem like a really nice/cute girl, keep it up ;-)

Here's my analysis:

You're belief system is partially self-reinforcing itself. Part of what makes you so interesting is that you are so confident, taking risks and acting different / unique when others are inhibited.

I use to think more along your lines, but ultimately, especially if you travel a lot, you meet large groups of people that just don't find you interesting - due to cultural or personality differences etc. What do you do then eh? The tendency is to reject the people that reject you. and/or avoid the country/culture that acts like this.

 

 

 

Who's awesome??? You are!!

I love that pic!

On a more serious note, the book to read here is The Culture of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch. Jean Twenge's Generation Me diagnoses the same thing, though Lasch, versed in Marx and Freud, is way more fun.

Posted By MrDelicious on 20 Feb 2010 11:50 AM

So I think anyone who writes a post like this, is only looking for one thing:

ENFP Gal... GOOD NEWS, not all ENFPs are like this..  it's just you! You're even more awesome than you can imagine! OMG!!! Lead singer from an INDIE BAND!?! You're awesome! Dancing ALONE on the dance floor??

 

 

 

In all seriousness you seem like a really nice/cute girl, keep it up ;-)

Here's my analysis:

You're belief system is partially self-reinforcing itself. Part of what makes you so interesting is that you are so confident, taking risks and acting different / unique when others are inhibited.

I use to think more along your lines, but ultimately, especially if you travel a lot, you meet large groups of people that just don't find you interesting - due to cultural or personality differences etc. What do you do then eh? The tendency is to reject the people that reject you. and/or avoid the country/culture that acts like this.

 

 

 

 bahaha, reading my post again and  jeez I do sound like a prick. *shrugs* meh oh well.  And for the record I genuinely did not write that post to hear "OH EM GEE you're even more awesome than you thought!" I was absolutely curious to see how other people work, even if it meant making myself very vulnerable,  to hear criticism about what a tool I am.  Because I thought it was different how my INFJ friend thought... and I needed to see how other people thought.  Let me clarify a point, I don't walk around thinking "Gosh I'm cool" all the time, I'll just remind myself of that as a pep talk if nerves set in that would interfere with me doing something valuable like meeting people/ sharing experiences.  My motivation to meet people is out of an urge to connect and understand more about their hearts and minds.

To answer your question, if someone doesn't think I'm cool then I don't let it reflect on me. They are entitled to their opinions,  but it doesn't effect how awesome I am/ my self worth, they just don't see it.  Meh, and that's totally fine. 

bahaha, reading my post again and  jeez I do sound like a prick

Yeah you do. We love you anyway!

Meh, I'm being honest. I wanted to know how other people think because it is evidently different than how I do. I give everyone else the same compliments that I give myself. How do you think JH?

On a more serious note, the book to read here is The Culture of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch. Jean Twenge's Generation Me diagnoses the same thing, though Lasch, versed in Marx and Freud, is way more fun.

Wow thanks Jason

"I wanted to know how other people think because it is evidently different than how I do. I give everyone else the same compliments that I give myself"

I don't assume the existence of a personal identity, (or assume this about other people either). I know that every person I meet has a different representation of who I am which is essentially an aggregation of every interaction we've had previously (and vice-versa). I try to study how different interactions lead to different perspectives - sometimes I even purposeful make bad impressions just to study it.

Typically I try to come across as unimpressive/boring when I first meet someone. This way they don't bother me too much =) If I later find out they're important/useful to my life, I'll start to subtly reveal interesting things about myself (i.e. things I think the other person would find interesting about me based on my understanding of them). 

Posted By Charlie on 20 Feb 2010 01:38 AM

When I approach someone that I've never met, I will only think about how awesome that new person will think I am, and they 99% of the time do.  And then they tell me "Wow, I've never met anyone like you before."  

 

Hmmm... I'm never that impressed with anyone I meet the first time. Say something interesting.

I am not sure is the attitude from OP good or bad, I mean genuine or narcissistic... Thinking you're awesome is one of the most important things you have to reach in life, but thinking how every person you meet will think you're awesome etc., makes you unrealistic at best. I mean, you never met some for ex. hard core ESTJ who is very unintuitive and strong SJ and thinks being slightly different is wasting your life or being bad society member??? I met so many people that didnt think I was bad, or maybe even think I am very special person and interesting but still dont like me because think my lifestyle (huge Pness ) is not good....

I am not sure do your OP screams "I'm more awesome than most other people" or just "I'm awesome"... and if it's first not sure is it good.

I think he goes in with a positive expectation and confidence, and he gets results.

How different people will perceive - not the confidence, but rather what he actually says - probably varies some by type.

what is confusing to me when it comes to confidence is, people are saying like " Most people see how i'm awesome so, you know, I really am awesome. I see it too" ... but what if others dont see you're awesome ? then what ? You're not awesome? Dont think so. So it's relative. What i wanna say is that people are using as proof tfor being awesome he fact that many people like them... it's just silly... means that your own worth is dependent on others opinions.
I like attitude of shruging off negative feedback and taking in only positive...

Posted By xnfp on 21 Feb 2010 01:35 PM
I am not sure is the attitude from OP good or bad, I mean genuine or narcissistic... Thinking you're awesome is one of the most important things you have to reach in life, but thinking how every person you meet will think you're awesome etc., makes you unrealistic at best. I mean, you never met some for ex. hard core ESTJ who is very unintuitive and strong SJ and thinks being slightly different is wasting your life or being bad society member??? I met so many people that didnt think I was bad, or maybe even think I am very special person and interesting but still dont like me because think my lifestyle (huge Pness ) is not good....

I am not sure do your OP screams "I'm more awesome than most other people" or just "I'm awesome"... and if it's first not sure is it good.

I've been thinking about this... yeah, this is totally what I wanted to touch on.  While rereading BH's post, it struck me that he thinks I'm narcissistic. And in my opinion I'm not, however think what you want about me/ my post.  I think the line between narcissism and confidence is crossed when one would think that they're better than other people. And I don't, I just think I'm awesome. period. For the first time in my life, after I've spent years giving myself and my heart away to others, then having it fall through with them without any care for myself,  I have realized that my relationship with myself is the only one I can control. So I made a decision a year ago to fall in head over heals in love with me,  and give the same love and affection that I have given to so many people in my world to myself.  I love me and I want everyone to see it.  I will think that unconditionally, no matter how many ESTJ's say I suck at organization (and I do-- both suck at it and still love me even more for it.). That's why I can tell you ten things I'm great at and ten things I suck at, but I love myself for both. Saying that and truly believing that is the best thing I've ever done. Life is just way too short to feel anything but awesome.  So that's why it shocked me as much as it did when my INFJ friend thought of herself as average.  In my mind, life is too damn short to be average! If you don't think you're BAMF, who will??  And will it really matter if they do??  That's why I am so curious to find out about how other people view themselves/ how it influences meeting other people or their dreams.  holla.

Posted By Zsych on 21 Feb 2010 10:36 AM

Posted By Charlie on 20 Feb 2010 01:38 AM

When I approach someone that I've never met, I will only think about how awesome that new person will think I am, and they 99% of the time do.  And then they tell me "Wow, I've never met anyone like you before."  

 

Hmmm... I'm never that impressed with anyone I meet the first time. Say something interesting.

Well I'm not a court jester. But I am very genuine and I wear my soul on my sleeve and surprisingly enough, I have been known to even get that response from a few INTJ's hehe.  Well, to be technical, the NT's usually use the word "intriguing" and then they poke me hehe.  I'm not sure if I understand completely what they mean by that since I'm not an NT,  but when I've asked, they've told me it's the way that I live--  a head over heals, crazy in love, choosing to see beauty in everything, the struggles, the pain and beauty of life.  *shrugs*. 

Posted By Charlie on 21 Feb 2010 05:50 PM

Posted By xnfp on 21 Feb 2010 01:35 PM
I am not sure is the attitude from OP good or bad, I mean genuine or narcissistic... Thinking you're awesome is one of the most important things you have to reach in life, but thinking how every person you meet will think you're awesome etc., makes you unrealistic at best. I mean, you never met some for ex. hard core ESTJ who is very unintuitive and strong SJ and thinks being slightly different is wasting your life or being bad society member??? I met so many people that didnt think I was bad, or maybe even think I am very special person and interesting but still dont like me because think my lifestyle (huge Pness ) is not good....

I am not sure do your OP screams "I'm more awesome than most other people" or just "I'm awesome"... and if it's first not sure is it good.

I've been thinking about this... yeah, this is totally what I wanted to touch on.  While rereading BH's post, it struck me that he thinks I'm narcissistic. And in my opinion I'm not, however think what you want about me/ my post.  I think the line between narcissism and confidence is crossed when one would think that they're better than other people. And I don't, I just think I'm awesome. period. For the first time in my life, after I've spent years giving myself and my heart away to others, then having it fall through with them without any care for myself,  I have realized that my relationship with myself is the only one I can control. So I made a decision a year ago to fall in head over heals in love with me,  and give the same love and affection that I have given to so many people in my world to myself.  I love me and I want everyone to see it.  I will think that unconditionally, no matter how many ESTJ's say I suck at organization (and I do-- both suck at it and still love me even more for it.). That's why I can tell you ten things I'm great at and ten things I suck at, but I love myself for both. Saying that and truly believing that is the best thing I've ever done. Life is just way too short to feel anything but awesome.  So that's why it shocked me as much as it did when my INFJ friend thought of herself as average.  In my mind, life is too damn short to be average! If you don't think you're BAMF, who will??  And will it really matter if they do??  That's why I am so curious to find out about how other people view themselves/ how it influences meeting other people or their dreams.  holla.

 

Interesting... I agree with you. But this bolded part - how do you mean average??? average = like majority of people ? so this DOES mean you're above majority of people??

 

anyway.. just asking.. not really sure is it okay to thinks so. this has been one of major blocks to me for having high confidence... if i'm awesome.. and other people clearly are not all awesome.. then i'm better than most... and i guess my inner idealist has hard time accepting that

 btw i'm curious - what types are your parents

Personally, I find it uncomfortable when people don't have a high opinion of themselves. Thinking that you're average is not cool. Everyone should believe in their own value - whether or not they compare themselves to other people - they should believe that they are worth something.

Posted By Zsych on 22 Feb 2010 05:23 AM
Personally, I find it uncomfortable when people don't have a high opinion of themselves. Thinking that you're average is not cool. Everyone should believe in their own value - whether or not they compare themselves to other people - they should believe that they are worth something.

 

Wait a second, since when thinking you're average equals thinking you're not worth something? average people are worth something, worth everything.

i think we are having problem with the word average.

I agree with you, Zsych. What's so cool on being average? I used to think that average was good when i was younger - i just wanted to fit in and had the feeling i was strange. But now - if another person wants to be average - that's ok for me. But i myself would not want that - i want to be like i am, not like every one else. If others don't accept me like i am, then i don't need them. A friend once said: "If someone does not like you the way you are, then they obviously don't deserve you." That statement really rocked my life.

@xnfp: There is a difference between being average, and believing you are average. Average, is ordinary, is nothing special. An acceptance of your self as average is not an attitude conductive to your growth.