Right, so I'm a 22-year old man living in Britain, looking for anything ranging from a close online friendship to a long-term relationship. You probably know that already, but I want to make it official. I'll just paste in my okcupid profile, and then you can read it and start finding me immensely attractive, and then you can hassle the moderators to set up private messaging so that we can talk. Or we could just talk here. Or you could ask for my email address. Or you could find out where I live and stalk me. Okay?

Oh, and you should be a girl who is no more than about a decade older than I am. You'd probably prefer to be younger than that, so please try your best to be.

My Self-Summary

I’m the boy nextdoor, which means I’m disgustingly nice and pathetically inexperienced.

I'm an INTJ, which means I'm intelligent, systematic, brutally honest and socially strange.

I am a spindly, dangly sort of person. I type with two fingers and wrists uncomfortable on the sharp edge of a desk that was probably chosen at some point in time by the estate agent from which I rent with a PhD chemist and some as-of-now unannounced and unarrived others. I have the attic bedroom which makes me KING OF THE HOUSE and you must entertain me with your stories and rhymes and juggling or else I shall drown you in a peasant-infested swamp.

I am occupied by philosophy. I prefer to deal in big or medium-sized ideas like aesthetic value, which is what I’m supposed to be writing about. I consider myself a consequentialist: I think right actions are those that maximise whateverness (I don’t know what yet; in practice I probably aim to maximise my own well-being, in an indirect way that involves being quite nice to people). I think capitalism might be a mistake. I think adulthood begins at around 12 years old. I smoke marijuana every chance I get. I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet. I steal lines from Allen Ginsberg poems.

In the future I intend to be a decent writer living in a city or the country (or the cunty, which is a mixture of the two, rather like where I grew up in Sheffield). I will maybe hopefully have a permanent teaching post at a university somewhere on Earth, and I will divert the rest of my resources towards loving the woman that loves me and dancing gleefully in an unpredictable atmosphere.


What I’m doing with my life

I’m doing a PhD in philosophy (specifically it’s about aesthetic value, or beauty in art) and a bit of teaching during term-time (so far I’ve taught feminist philosophy).

I’m on a mission to get better and better at writing poetry.

I’m trying to cope with a newly-diagnosed anxiety disorder, for which I am on Prozac.

I’m looking for a girlfriend.
I’m really good at
Writing clearly, solving problems, making mix CDs.
The first thing(s) people usually notice about me
I often get mistaken for a girl because I have such a beautiful bottom. Or maybe it's the long hair that confuses people.

I'm quiet when I first meet people (even online), but once you get to know me I become an entirely different person. If you want to hurry up the process, you could always get me drunk; I become talkative and entertaining (and mildly insane) when drunk or otherwise uninhibited.


My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Favourite books include the following: On the Road, L'Etranger, Franny and Zooey, Down and Out in Paris and London, The Dice Man, Getting Things Done.

Too much music to list.

Favourites films include: Naked, Withnail & I, Dog Day Afternoon, Midnight Cowboy, Brokeback Mountain, There Will Be Blood, The Science of Sleep, The Magdalene Sisters.

I like all sorts of food. Can't be bothered to list things.


The six things I could never do without

Tea
Medication
Hi-fi
Pen
Paper
Contact lenses


I spend a lot of time thinking about

Songs, politics, doom, love, sex, girls, how to live, what to do, what sphinx of cement and aluminium bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination.


On a typical Friday night I am

At home, treating the day like any other.

Occasionally out, drunk to hell, dancing stupidly.


The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I’m terrified of humans.


You should message me if

You like the cut of my jib.

You want to tear my pretty red heart in two.

You’re good at scooping shy people out of their shells.

You either live near me or would be willing to form a relationship online, with the likelihood that we will meet up at some point.

You want me to make you a mix CD. I haven't disclosed my taste in music, but it is respectable and eclectic. I will gladly custom-build you a mix CD and post it to you, or give it to you in person using my hands. Unless I'm not interested in you, but I probably am.

ppl on this forum rock!

^^ where did her hands go? I don't know!?!?

and look at his back... he is bringing sexy back

Don't fear the ENFP wingman, thoke. Somehow....they work.

--blatantly hits on you-- wanna get tipsy and go dancing?

Thoke, m'darling, I want to help you positively. Given that I have some advice: the content of your advertisement really isn't what's important. What's important is the social dynamic implicit in your posting it: it shows that you're somebody who needs to advertise, like you were applying for insurance, instead of being somebody who these things just naturally grow with-- beautifully, between two people, and without any such explicit... need. I think you could do really well in relationships, but I think that, to do so, it might be worth trying a slightly different approach. You'll eventually get a girl or two the way you're doing it, but I don't think it will be in the way that you want or in a way that will be enjoyable as a natural growth-- a mutual magnetism without reference to credentials -- between two people could be.

Silvertongue, welcome back, long time no see!

Pimp-mastah Thoke-Daddy I believe has been dating an ISFJ chick.

Good to see you again JHBowden. Thanks for the welcome.

Good for Thoke :-)

ha you guys i wish they were all like u at work

i never got the different levels in the romance thing. To me, and im guessing thoke too, there are 3 levels.

1. you are no one
2. you are my girlfriend and i might marry you if you prove trustworthy
3. you are my wife

That might be a bit harsher than reality, but you get the idea.
So, for an INTJ, this sort of resume for a girlfriend is totally normal.

BTW, hi Thoke.

Sue

Well there are gradients. I don't know if it is bionary. Since we always deal with incomplete information, all relationship decisions come with a probabilistic factors.

INTPs are great at pointing this out