Yeah, we can see it works.. But the ENFP can often be so energetic, and the INFJ need their time alone.. This can rub an INFJ up the wrong way.. Does anyone have advice for the ENFP wanting an INFJ? Because from what I have seen, interesting things happen.. 

According to the Socionics website, we are "Mirror Relationships" which means we are relationships of mutual correction. These mutual corrections can often lead to "blows," that is, fights. And yet it says this combination is the "fourth most compabable" of all. http://www.socionics.com/rel/mrr.htm

It's a very unusual combination for me, because I've always felt that my ENFP friends "understand" my perspective, but don't act from my perspective. It's as though the ENFP is half-Idealist and half-Artisan.

Incidentally, my most recent ENFP friendship ran into exactly the issue you mention, I wanted to be all "territorial" and he always wanted other people around.

Fe is the lava that boils out.
Fi is the fire inside that started it all.

Fe sings.
Fi composes.

Fe asserts itself.
Fi just IS.

Fe is the bird.
Fi is the song.

Fe is contagious.
Fi is seductive.

Fe feels for others.
Fi feels for self.

Fe resounds.
Fi resonates.

Fe is the smile that leads to the kiss.
Fi is the butterfly in your chest that led to the smile.

Fe makes decisions based on values.
Fi makes decisions based on PERSONAL values.

Fe reaches out.
Fi pulls in.

Yeah, I studied Typology, and this all makes sense to me. Socionics doesn't seem to by psychology based, but rather it seems to be sociologically based with the aid of psychological principles (ie. Carl Jung's theories); although I haven't really looked into it. I more so had a peek at the Jungian and Myers system, which is what this forum is all about. I have read on this forum a couple times that there have been INFJ -- ENFP couples who have broken up, drawn boundaries between each other, and then later in the future started a relationship again, and this went in cycles a couple times, until they really figured each other out and stay together. Is this very normal?   I absolutely love the INFJ, but trying to understand the INFJ all the time can become difficult. They drop hints ALL THE TIME, rather than saying things straight! Haha.. it makes them interesting for the ENFP I think, because we are constantly trying to deconstruct people and what makes them tick. What does it actually mean when an INFJ says -> "Alright, it's over. This won't work! Leave me alone!"  It almost seems as though, (from reading this forum) that the INFJ is making an interestingly strong mistake because they dont feel like the ENFP is giving them enough space.. Which has also lead me to the question --> When do we know that an INFJ has sorted themselves out..? And then what do you do from there? Start from square 1 and just be friends for a while like every other INFJ -- ENFP relationship I have read about?  ENFPs are generally at harmony within themselves (or we come to that place of harmony much quicker).. So yes, just SLIGHTLY confusled about all of it!

Posted By JustinRWatson on 14 Sep 2010 08:30 PM
Theoretically the two personality types go together extremely well, because the role of the functions are in the same capacity of usage, but they are used in different ways.
INFJ
Ni, Fe, Ti, Se

ENFP
Ne, Fi, Te, Si

They compliment each other well.. But all the same.. As I said in my post earlier.. INFJs are interesting to understand, and an ENFP needs to be tactful.. Anyone have any enlightening comments or advice?

You are taking this whole "opposites attract" thing way too seriously. Opposites can attract, but not when the opposites are "thinking clearly" and "not thinking clearly" (Te and Ti respectively).

Also consider N vs. S. Opposites, but they don't attract.

Advice? Forget about this INFJ and find yourself an INTJ. They're much better. INTJs have Te, thus being a better "theoretical match" (an actual match).

ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si
 INTJ:  Ni Te Fi Se

INFJ is the warmth I like though.  I don't always feel that I am on the same wave length as the INTJs I know.. I am usually too abstract. This INFJ actually understands all the abstract thinking I do.. Hahaa.. Not necessarily opposites attract, what I meant, was, they compliment each other. INFJ and ENFP aren't even opposite to begin with. They both have the same Dominant, Auxilary, Tertiary and Inferior functions, the roles that these functions have switched from introversion to extroversion and vice-versa, thus, the INFJ and the ENFP are on the same wavelength, and also have the unique ability of fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle... An NF <--> NF relationship is generally very deep, but they are a little more touchy and sensitive than an NT <--> NF relationship.. Anyhow, the INFJ and ENFP compliment each other well. But, that's just my preference.. ..

Forget about this INFJ and find yourself an INTJ. They're much better.

In response to this statement... Hmm.. But aren't ENFPs generally getting into trouble for bouncing around from one person to another? Wouldn't it be worth trying to put a bit of effort into it? Especially if all it means that getting into an ultra-awesome relationship is by taking it ultra-slowly. Just my opinion.. Any INFJs care to comment on what they think?

I also have to add that it fills them with stark horror when we ENFPs go straight for the jugular of the problem. >.>

Posted By muzikjunkie on 18 Sep 2010 09:14 AM
This "going straight for the jugular of the problem" business is Te, and the reason that your INFJ friend get's so embarrassed and flustered when you do that.They have Ti. Te/Ti doesn't work out so well. They clash.

It is interesting that you should mention that as a prominent failure on the part of the ENFP and the INFJ pairing. It is a tertiary function and isn't used very often at all. The Te function is primarily used to understand logic and reasoning as well as scientific thought. Te also help's one to be organised and do planning. The Ti within the INFJ narrows down onto the subject matter, classifies everything, organizes everything and also helps to recognize patterns. Both can work together quite well, but even if they were a cause of conflict, Te and Ti is not something that is used by the ENFP or the INFJ too often because it is a tertiary function. Cognitive Psychologists will also tell you that the Tertiary function does not develop until the maturity of the personality, which is around the midlife. Cognitive Psychologists will also tell you that an undeveloped tertiary function will not be used. As a youth ENFP, my tertiary function of Te is probably not used very much, and neither is hers. The impulsiveness or the straightforwardness of the ENFP is because of the ENFPs cognitive combination. We have the Perceiving trait, which as we know is something that brings about a sense of spontaneity. ENFP is also an NF with extroverted Intuition and introverted feeling. Because of this combination of extroversion, feeling and intuition, I don't think it is our very weak extroverted thinking function that does much at all, but the combination of our dominant and auxiliary functions that make us impulsive, spontaneous and too-the-point.

So, from the research psychologists have done on this topic, it is fair to say that the Te in an ENFP in their 20s, early 30s and maybe possibly even late 30s, is quite undeveloped hence, not used enough to be of any worry.

Posted By alysaria on 15 Sep 2010 12:21 PM
It's all about personal preference. Some ENFPs just don't mesh with the dominant, somewhat controlling manipulators that are INTJs. They prefer the squishier, more accepting feeler version...

Hehe.. Yep.. Sorry, had to quote this one!!!

Posted By JustinRWatson on 18 Sep 2010 06:59 PM

Posted By muzikjunkie on 18 Sep 2010 09:14 AM
This "going straight for the jugular of the problem" business is Te, and the reason that your INFJ friend get's so embarrassed and flustered when you do that.They have Ti. Te/Ti doesn't work out so well. They clash.

It is interesting that you should mention that as a prominent failure on the part of the ENFP and the INFJ pairing. It is a tertiary function and isn't used very often at all. The Te function is primarily used to understand logic and reasoning as well as scientific thought. Te also help's one to be organised and do planning. The Ti within the INFJ narrows down onto the subject matter, classifies everything, organizes everything and also helps to recognize patterns. Both can work together quite well, but even if they were a cause of conflict, Te and Ti is not something that is used by the ENFP or the INFJ too often because it is a tertiary function. Cognitive Psychologists will also tell you that the Tertiary function does not develop until the maturity of the personality, which is around the midlife. Cognitive Psychologists will also tell you that an undeveloped tertiary function will not be used. As a youth ENFP, my tertiary function of Te is probably not used very much, and neither is hers. The impulsiveness or the straightforwardness of the ENFP is because of the ENFPs cognitive combination. We have the Perceiving trait, which as we know is something that brings about a sense of spontaneity. ENFP is also an NF with extroverted Intuition and introverted feeling. Because of this combination of extroversion, feeling and intuition, I don't think it is our very weak extroverted thinking function that does much at all, but the combination of our dominant and auxiliary functions that make us impulsive, spontaneous and too-the-point.

 

So, from the research psychologists have done on this topic, it is fair to say that the Te in an ENFP in their 20s, early 30s and maybe possibly even late 30s, is quite undeveloped hence, not used enough to be of any worry.

It's interesting you'd say that because the development of functions is due to experience, not age. That statistic you mentioned is the result of age leading to experience. Remember, correlation does not imply causation. An ENFP who is raised by an ISTJ, for instance, would have a well developed Te. Generally thoughout the population, introverts will have more developed secondary functions because they won't be able to survive in their primary function in daily life because they will be forced into extroverted situations where they're forced to use their extroverted, secondary functions. It's when extroverts are allowed to take some time to use their introverted function, that they end up developing.

It's not based on a timer. How your functions are developed is based on what you've had to use to survive. An extrovert that's never been challenged to use their other functions, will never develop them. It's usually the introverts you see with strongly developed functions.

I'm not denying that it's a personal choice. Life is ALL about choices. I'm just saying that according to the science of MBTI, INTJs and ENFPs work better than INFJs and ENFPs.