Thank you reverie for telling your story!

You're welcome. Hope it's of some use.
Your type is also intuition preferred so I really don't need to say much about that, thankfully, but the external feeling function is really the key to why INFJs can be a liitle perplexing at times. I personally empath so strongly that being in large parties can be terrible, because so many people want contact with me and their different feeling states overwhelm me because I can't by function keep them out, and exposure to hostile enviroments is so taxing... (I have had to handle customer complaints at a job and while I had 99% of people leaving happy I myself was a nervous wreck being exposed to all these negative feelings all day every day and had to quit). So we have a personal interest in keeping our surroundings infused with positive feelings, because we empath the negative feelings and it personally just gets me in knots to the core. Being exposed to even a nice person all the time non stop is still being exposed to their feelings and thus not resting.
But the fact both our types are "right brain hemisphered" makes things nice and flowy when things go well and there's no need for constant explaining like with people who are more logic oriented, which is nice.

I would like to echo Load's thanks, reverie. It is nice to have some insight into the INFJ. You folks can be so reserved that it is sometimes difficult to know what is going on! Do you have any suggestions for how to help an INFJ that is depressed or dealing with something difficult. Is it best to just leave you alone? As an ENFP, my gut is to spend time with them and try to cheer them up, but that never seems to be what an INFJ wants.

INFJs deal with stress by holing up into their minds and figuring out how to deal with it. They'll happily take hugs when the pressure is off, but they tend to repel any support while in the moment. Best thing is to be available and let them know you're around if they want to have lunch or just chat, and realize that if they do come to you for counsel, they are working through their thoughts out loud. ENFPs like to vent - once everything's out in the open, it's a relief. INFJs, however, like validation of their ideas....so even if an INFJ asks you for advice, most of the time (at least in my experience), they're hoping you'll tell them what they already know and intend to do but haven't quite absorbed yet.

hi (reverie/Nadette/alysaria) i think i got the opposite problems in a group, i would be frightened at times i can't cover all people's emotions, thoughts and well-beings. when i tried front desk/customer service jobs, it was so rewarding but with the same result as reverie, drained/dead after work LOL (yea ended up with quitting too haha). but i remember i was so happy helping them this and that, unending streams of joy from the customers and museum goers!!

what do INFJs want...in my opinion, some INFJs mind being rubbed in a wrong way in a wrong time. but some other INFJs appreciate it even the place, the time and the context is not right (almost INFP-like but not as quick and obvious as INFPs in my view). e.g., spending time with some INFJ when they are sad might be invading personal space and for other INFJs might be a great way to console them. it is up to the person, either way, it will be intense. sometimes some INFJs might want to vent but not all the time. for other INFJs when you are close, it can be more like...that we can't differentiate who is more outgoing anymore between ENFPs/INFJs haha (joking!!).

Posted By Computer_nerd4 on 14 Sep 2010 11:00 AM

According to the Socionics website, we are "Mirror Relationships" which means we are relationships of mutual correction. These mutual corrections can often lead to "blows," that is, fights. And yet it says this combination is the "fourth most compabable" of all. http://www.socionics.com/rel/mrr.htm

It's a very unusual combination for me, because I've always felt that my ENFP friends "understand" my perspective, but don't act from my perspective. It's as though the ENFP is half-Idealist and half-Artisan.

Incidentally, my most recent ENFP friendship ran into exactly the issue you mention, I wanted to be all "territorial" and he always wanted other people around.

 

dude. that website just blew my mind. im an enfp with an intj fiance and it described our relationship to a T. crazy.

 

 

 

Posted By on 14 Sep 2010 08:57 PM

Advice? Forget about this INFJ and find yourself an INTJ. They're much better.

 

Clearly, this is excellant advice!