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Infj and enfp
Last Post 28 Nov 2009 06:52 PM by Atara. 5 Replies.
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ailhadbella User is Offline
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01 Aug 2009 11:23 AM  
Here the problem, I really believe infjs are truly my ideal match next to infps but after reading forums that said that infj and enfp relationship are difficult. And infjs saying that their ideal match are entps. I'm wondering what I should do? Should I give up on the infjs, and go for infps or the infjs, which I would be miserable with? But being an optimistic person I believe I might meet an infj, which might be happy with me and we live happily ever after, whatever happily ever after is equivalent to in this world.
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01 Aug 2009 02:25 PM  
Here the problem, I really believe infjs are truly my ideal match next to infps but after reading forums that said that infj and enfp relationship are difficult. And infjs saying that their ideal match are entps. I'm wondering what I should do? Should I give up on the infjs, and go for infps or the infjs, which I would be miserable with? But being an optimistic person I believe I might meet an infj, which might be happy with me and we live happily ever after, whatever happily ever after is equivalent to in this world.


Don't you dare give up on INFJs, they are wonderful people. I've dated one and she was so awesome and we get along great. The only problem was she was 12 years my SR so it really didn't have a chance. We are still friends and would hang out more often but she lives in NYC. (jealous) I love her to death and wished she was younger, I would totally snatch her up.

Any "N" paring can fundamentally work as long as you have similar values and both want it to work. Now that being said S can work too but I don't recommend it. (my ex was an ISTJ).

INFJs totally compatible with ENFPs. Don't assume the perfect type is the only one for you. It will be very tough. INTJs are wicked cool for us but only 1% of population. INFJs are rarer still but nearly double your chances of finding a good mate.
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."

"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche

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01 Aug 2009 02:52 PM  
Yeah... while I would definitely take into mind that some forums say ENFP/INFJ relationships are difficult, I'd advise you not to put much weight on the "best match" sites--especially not the sites that uniformly say that each type is best fitted with their opposites. Many mbti sites say many different things about which types are best paired with which types... but I don't think there's very much actual research to go off of yet. http://www.lovetype.com/enfptips.html for instance suggests with all NF-types, and breaks it down by gender.

I think that you're best off looking up the problems that can develop between whatever type the girl is interested in and you, and then testing the waters to see if you're both mature enough that it won't be a problem between you two individuals. I'm not really sure I understand dating-by-type outright, because they try to find out which types are best for which other types by seeing how well the people of these types tend to get along. If you're one of those people out in the real world, though, you wouldn't really need to "look for an INFJ" because if they would make a good match for you, then you'll be attracted to them anyway. So mbti is good for testing maturity levels and trying to work out what problems might develop in the relationship, but might be disastrous if you specifically look for whichever type you think matches best.

If you're looking for a good read, the book "Just Your Type" by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger gives a good overview of how each type works with each other, the joys and the frustrations between each type, etc. You can see how it's laid out on Google books (http://books.google.com/books?id=68w6G6QwudEC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_v2_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false), but unfortunately the preview doesn't cover the NFs with NFs section... so I guess you'd have to hit up a library or bookstore to read the page that you would want.
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28 Nov 2009 04:01 AM  
my gf is an infj, we're doing just fine. Its long distance, which sucks though.
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28 Nov 2009 05:32 PM  

INFJs are great listeners, wonderful at giving advice and support, and are one of the most appreciative, loving types in a relationship. ENFPs and INFJs balance each other out with goals vs spontanaety and quiet time vs social time. INFJs are master motivators with the reluctant ENFP, and ENFPs are excellent encouragement to just get out and have fun when the INFJ is feeling bleak. Both are understanding of the other and strive for harmonious relationships.

Some issues are the INFJ "mother hen" syndrome. They're sweethearts, but they can be very managing when they get it into their mind that they know what's best. They're not exactly subtle either. When an INFJ has something on their mind, it's usually pretty obvious. This can be slightly frustrating for the ENFP...and just takes some playing to the INFJ "live and let live" value system. What bothers INFJs about ENFPs is our tendency to return to an issue if we can't deal with it RIGHT NOW! >.> And the more we think about it, the crazier it becomes. The INFJ just doesn't understand how an ENFP can keep running around the same problem after solutions have already been discussed - it takes action for an ENFP, while the implementation of a plan is enough for the INFJ. Another issue is that, while INFJs are wonderful at giving advice, they do not take it well. Like INTJs, INFJs lead with introverted intuition, which is that brilliant pattern of internal connections that make them so good at forming plans. Rather than drifting off, grabbing ideas out of the air the way ENFPs do, INFJs plot, linking information internally....which means they have to sit quietly and work through their problems - and woe to anyone who interrupts that thought process. INFJs have to figure things out on their own, and if they *do* ask for advice, they're usually asking for reinforcement of what they've already come up with rather than actual advice. I adore my INFJ friend....but we're better friends for the time we have apart from each other.

Atara User is Offline
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28 Nov 2009 06:52 PM  
All I can tell you is that I'm an INFJ and I get along great with my ENFP friend. We're not in love though, but I could definitely see ourselves work I can really connect with his lifestyle and his way of thinking, if that makes any sense.
I cannot stress the fact enough which others have posted above - please don't let yourself be discouraged by the MBTI love match thingies. If you check out the INFJ forums you'll see that many of them have dated ENFPs before and had a great time - if they are not still together... So relying on my and others' experiences I'd say: Go for it!
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