Oh my gosh, Alysaria, me too! I'm kind of a social daredevil. Because I don't really hold relationships that have no depth to any value I have all sorts of "dangerous" fun with them. Maybe I shouldn't, but I get bored... Just for the heck of it, I'll act like a different character around people that don't know me well or I'll engage a friend I haven't seen in years in a heavy, philosophical conversation when we are just reuniting over coffee, just to see how they react. Sometimes I say or ask potentially volatile things just to see what happens. I mean, all these things are me trying to learn more about the people. I have nothing to lose. I might scare them away or we might develop a relationship I actually value...

Posted By Nadette on 01 Oct 2011 07:14 AM
Oh my gosh, Alysaria, me too! I'm kind of a social daredevil. Because I don't really hold relationships that have no depth to any value I have all sorts of "dangerous" fun with them. Maybe I shouldn't, but I get bored... Just for the heck of it, I'll act like a different character around people that don't know me well or I'll engage a friend I haven't seen in years in a heavy, philosophical conversation when we are just reuniting over coffee, just to see how they react. Sometimes I say or ask potentially volatile things just to see what happens. I mean, all these things are me trying to learn more about the people. I have nothing to lose. I might scare them away or we might develop a relationship I actually value...

 

I don't do any of these things, and I'd be furious with someone who toyed with me like that.   I don't like people who stir the pot to create tension when things get boring.   I am always myself, for the most part.  Of course, I have different facts to my personality, so I may appear different at different times, but it's usually authentic, unless I have to pretend to like my boss or something.

If I'm looking at someone, it's probably because I'm trying to figure something out about them.

Oh, I don't create tension. I just mess with people's expectation of me. By volatile, I don't mean creating tension and violence...I think I just mean that I try to evoke responses...by doing unusual things...to kind of throw people off guard or make them rethink their understanding of me or themselves or the world.

 

And, I am always authentic, but being authentic means that you can be and express all of your multiple selves and challenge conformity and social rules. Trust me though, I am benevolent. I believe that everything I do is completely harmless to others. The only person I would be hurting is myself by alienating myself. It is kind of like I challenge people to accept me. If I say or do something weird or unexpected, will you still accept me? If I turn out to be different than you thought, will you still accept me? So many relationships are so meaningless. It is kind of fun to risk your social well-being.