Posted By jlpicard on 16 Aug 2011 03:29 PM

Posted By alysaria on 16 Aug 2011 07:49 AM
"OMG! NO! CRAP! I did it again! Why does every guy I meet always assume I'm flirting? Am I coming off that way? >< I'm not trying to. Ok, ok. I just have to tone it down. ARGH! Why did you have to go and change the friendship on me!!?? I can't ever be natural around him again or he'll just think I'm interested and make another move. Must be careful. Can't relax around him again."

That's not it. It doesn't fit. It's different. She was attracted to me – perhaps with emphasis on the "was". But it's nowhere near friend zone. That's why I am asking, because it's not "being attracted" anymore, but it isn't the "friend zone" either.

Example: The last time we met was in a hall full of people. I entered the hall to search for something, not knowing she was in there. But she already saw me the moment I entered and was observing me all the while. So while I was searching (which I did in a very systematic, expressionless manner) I didn't realize I was actually approaching the place where she was standing. And when I saw her there was this look on her face. And the look on her face didn't say "I'm happy about seeing a friend" nor was it what you described above. It was more like "this guy is fascinating, but scares the s___ out of me".

Look, ENFPs have chemistry with people. They are people people. Males, females, there is some kind of dynamic. What you think you are picking up on, is probably the dynamic of the ENFP.  I believe this girl is NOT that into you. As a girl, and regardless of type, girls are girls. She may like a thing or two about you, but that does not mean she is IN to you.  When a girl is IN to a guy, we find ways to talk to them.  In general. You are not observing shyness or reservation. You are observing a girl who would like to be friends but is unwilling to step out and be misinterpretted

I am just getting over a HUGE crush on an ENFP guy. (I am INTP)  I barely hung out with him twice, and I have been hooked for months. They like to stare. they just do. the first time i hung out with him in a group, we were waiting for our table, and i felt like i was being watched. I looked over, and he was watching me with the tiny smile he always has on his face. Not just watching, staring straight in my eyes, for seconds, brazenly. Not creepo style, just like, "i'm the man and i can sooo get away with this." Almost like he was doing it on purpose. Never had a guy make eye contact like that before.  guys that end up coming up to hit on me, look pointedly for a couple seconds, then look away, every now and then. This ENFP guy was like, daring me somehow. I knew it didn't mean anything, and thats waht confused me. I just smiled back at him liek it was nothing. Honestly i didnt think about this guy that much until that incident.  I think it must have been purposeful game.  (He also "negged" me later on.) Unmeaningful game though. no intention.

Anyway dont assign importance to these things. Staring, hitting it off, etc. They stare, and they hit it off with many people. NOthing wrong with that by the way, ENFPs....but for us NTs, its frustrating as hell.

I have included this guy in email stuff i send out, txt invites. Never got a response. I WANT to believe he likes me but I know now that this kind of guy just has chemistry with people, and enjoys having chemistry with people, and will back off if a girl he's not into, gives off a vibe like she likes him. Sounds like thats the girls story. He's not into me. End of story.

Nuthing you can do, bro. She knows you like her. I suggest backing off COMPLETELY, though being uninvolvingly friendly. If she starts toward you at all, then wonder. Honeslty though, I would RUN not walk away.  Who wants that kind of inconsistencY?