There was a person I felt for that I knew for some time that went to the same classes as I however, earlier today I found out that they already have a significant other. During the conversation I just nodded my head and shrugged it off but inside I felt sad, real sad. This person wasn't the first person I felt for, I had one before this but didn't turn out well (may have been worse than this time actually) but anyways we never established a relationship, it simply was to me a crush I had that turned out that I can never be with them for now at least. Nonetheless I feel miserable and sad so... am I "heartbroken" or am I just being over dramatic?

Na, not dramatic. Your just making a mistake I, and i bet a lot of other people on this forum, make. That mistake being getting way too attached to a crush. Even though the other person may not know we're into them we have already picked out wedding colors, so to speak. I know this has happened to me before!

But being sad about this is a normal response. Over dramatic would be trying to break them up or something. ; )

Posted By benkelsey on 11 Oct 2011 06:33 PM

Na, not dramatic. Your just making a mistake I, and i bet a lot of other people on this forum, make. That mistake being getting way too attached to a crush. Even though the other person may not know we're into them we have already picked out wedding colors, so to speak. I know this has happened to me before!

But being sad about this is a normal response. Over dramatic would be trying to break them up or something. ; )

You're saying I am neither but more so just acting "normal?" I never believed in that word nor ever was called it before.

Posted By AnnaK on 12 Oct 2011 04:05 AM
Sharon, you're not nothing!! If someone toyed with your feelings and told you they loved you, led you on basically, when they were not available, that means they're mean.

Buy why though? Just because they are "mean" isn't good enough. There has to be something wrong with me, anything. I meant nothing to them and I mean nothing to the current crush I have. Hell, I probably mean nothing to you. I don't see it any other way.

 I will go with the latter option

Posted By Stripes on 12 Oct 2011 11:11 AM

 I will go with the latter option

Thanks for being the first person to actually answer my original question. lol

Originally Posted by Ac1992
Yes. And it sucked. Till this day I still think about that girl I saw hahahahahahaha. Not a lot but maybe once in a while when the topic of women/sex/love comes up among peers.

Anyways, I was once shopping for clothes and I see from far away this beautiful biracial girl (i think she was half black half white) with the most striking blue eyes I've ever seen. I swear to God the moment I laid eyes on this girl I was in love. So as I enter the store shes leaving and we make eye contact. I open the door for her and tell her "Go ahead Miss". She smiles and says "thank you". She open her mouth once again like if she wanted to strike up a conversation, but at this point I'm having social anxiety (who knows if she would be interested in a white mexican haha) because this woman was BEAUTIFUL PERFECT 10 in my eyes, so I just walk ahead. WORST DECISION EVER. I thought about following her and asking for her number but I think that would've freaked her out.

Posted By alysaria on 12 Oct 2011 11:33 AM
I went over to personalitycafe to see if any of the INTPs there had any similar stories (that is, falling in love on sight without really knowing why). A couple just said yes....one gave me his story.

Originally Posted by Ac1992
Yes. And it sucked. Till this day I still think about that girl I saw hahahahahahaha. Not a lot but maybe once in a while when the topic of women/sex/love comes up among peers.

Anyways, I was once shopping for clothes and I see from far away this beautiful biracial girl (i think she was half black half white) with the most striking blue eyes I've ever seen. I swear to God the moment I laid eyes on this girl I was in love. So as I enter the store shes leaving and we make eye contact. I open the door for her and tell her "Go ahead Miss". She smiles and says "thank you". She open her mouth once again like if she wanted to strike up a conversation, but at this point I'm having social anxiety (who knows if she would be interested in a white mexican haha) because this woman was BEAUTIFUL PERFECT 10 in my eyes, so I just walk ahead. WORST DECISION EVER. I thought about following her and asking for her number but I think that would've freaked her out.

Thanks for the input also, I don't mean to just "ask" ENFPs. All types are allowed to answer and I don't like the idea of "typism" where it is said that its because one is an ENFP is why they don't give straight forward answer. Its more of just who the individual is.

I don't think you are either heartbroken or over-dramatic, really. I think you are probably mostly disappointed. You saw potential, but that was pulled away, and you are feeling the sting of losing control. Some person took away your own control to be happy. I know it sucks. It hurts, and I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry to make this thread but I have thought of a different way of looking at things. Since this isn't the first time I felt like this perhaps the truth is I mean nothing to people. I can't see it any other way. I just am not important enough perhaps? I am too "weird" to understand. It may seem stupid but all I really want is to be accepted by someone unconditionally, that is all.

The thing I've learned as I've gotten older (and you don't necessarily have to agree and maybe it's cheesy...) is that it's not the amount that you are loved but the amount that you love that is important because it's easy to think "Oh, nobody wants me!" but if you were able to step outside yourself and watch your life, I'm sure you will find that several people really do care about you (some of whom you might not even realize,) and you can't control who they are how much they do, but you can control your own feelings towards all of them.

I mean, you can't change or control the fact that your crush is seeing someone else. All you can control is your self and your own attempts at making yourself happy. I know what it's like to not want to do anything or to overdo things to keep oneself happy, but neither of these really helps. You just have to feel the pain very briefly, let it wash over you, and then say, "Fine, that's all the power I'm going to let you have. Now, I'm gonna go [insert something new you have wanted to try.]"

I hope things get better for you.

Posted By PurpleGiraffe on 12 Oct 2011 12:19 PM

I don't think you are either heartbroken or over-dramatic, really. I think you are probably mostly disappointed. You saw potential, but that was pulled away, and you are feeling the sting of losing control. Some person took away your own control to be happy. I know it sucks. It hurts, and I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry to make this thread but I have thought of a different way of looking at things. Since this isn't the first time I felt like this perhaps the truth is I mean nothing to people. I can't see it any other way. I just am not important enough perhaps? I am too "weird" to understand. It may seem stupid but all I really want is to be accepted by someone unconditionally, that is all.

The thing I've learned as I've gotten older (and you don't necessarily have to agree and maybe it's cheesy...) is that it's not the amount that you are loved but the amount that you love that is important because it's easy to think "Oh, nobody wants me!" but if you were able to step outside yourself and watch your life, I'm sure you will find that several people really do care about you (some of whom you might not even realize,) and you can't control who they are how much they do, but you can control your own feelings towards all of them.

I mean, you can't change or control the fact that your crush is seeing someone else. All you can control is your self and your own attempts at making yourself happy. I know what it's like to not want to do anything or to overdo things to keep oneself happy, but neither of these really helps. You just have to feel the pain very briefly, let it wash over you, and then say, "Fine, that's all the power I'm going to let you have. Now, I'm gonna go [insert something new you have wanted to try.]"

I hope things get better for you.

Thanks.

Posted By alysaria on 12 Oct 2011 02:45 PM
I'm the last person to jump on the "ALL THE PEOPLE OF THIS TYPE ARE LIKE THIS" bandwagon. There are tendencies....and most of the time, I make a speculation and based on the results of my hypothesis (which is ever changing, mind you), I adapt my results. But one thing that is pretty common to ENFPs is tangents. >.>

Not in this thread you're not. You jumped right on. Just messing with you. :p Also I thought I would just say that I feel that I am over it mainly so yeah anyone is free to post here but I am not seeking anymore advice. Thanks for the time people.