Flyingpigs4985 
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| 18 Oct 2009 06:43 PM |
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So my boyfriend is pratically INTJ Incarnate....I always feel like he has this superior air to him. I just let him think he's right. We've been dating for almost two years, he's five years older than me and he has a stable job. I am in the process of trying to get my life in order, find a career path, and get my #(*$ together. He thinks I'm lazy...really I'm not I just get "distracted" easily or persuade myself to "wait for a better opportunity". We are currently living in two different states and this is a recent change from living together. I feel like he doesn't listen to me because he feels he already knows the answer. I KNOW he cares but its just frustrating because communicating is sometimes like talking to a brick wall......no sensitivity lol. Is this normal for an INTJ-ENFP relationship? I heard they were really good matches?
Please Comment with any advice.....
(what type might be a better pairing....just curious)
Thanks!  |
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JHBowden
MBTI: ENTJ
Age/Sex: 31
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| 18 Oct 2009 07:03 PM |
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Being lazy is awesome! Why doesn't the boyfriend listen to you?
That he has a stable job and that you're living in another state sounds a bit fishy. Are you certain you're not being used? |
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Flyingpigs4985
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| 18 Oct 2009 07:20 PM |
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We met in college through our Fraternity, he graduated when i was a freshman, i had to pull out of school because i couldnt afford it anymore, he got a job offer in PA and currently I am living with my grandparents trying to save money to get back into school. I dont think he is using me, he says he wants me to come out but would like to see me better myself by getting through school. Im just finding it harder to communicate with him. Our sense of humor is spot on with each other And I can lift his spirits in a moment. He helps me keep my feet on the ground sometime and I feel safe with him ( he keeps the baddies of the world at bay  ) |
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JHBowden
MBTI: ENTJ
Age/Sex: 31
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Dark Lord of the Sith
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Posts:349
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| 18 Oct 2009 07:35 PM |
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Look, if he's working, you can move in with him, and Mr. Boyfriend can pay for school too if that's important to you.
Something isn't adding up.
That he acts like an asshole, ahem, acts superior and doesn't listen -- is he trying to get rid of you on purpose? Rest assured, while this behavior may make you feel safe, this isn't an INTJ thing. Might be part of the idiot frat culture though, who knows. |
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Flyingpigs4985
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| 18 Oct 2009 07:50 PM |
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LoL maybe so......he is an asshole. but as an ENFP I think I have a tendancy to stay with bad relationships for too long. I hate being alone.... Apart from him is an INTJ a good pairing for an ENFP? |
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Sakari
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: Female
Relationship: Single
IM: sakariparadox
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Posts:753
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| 18 Oct 2009 09:29 PM |
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Technically speaking, you can be compatible with any personality type. But I agree that the INTJ-ENFP pairing is something that, with proper communication and understanding, flourishes quite beautifully.  |
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Exodus
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: 24 / Male
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Posts:10
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| 19 Oct 2009 10:08 PM |
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I speak only for myself, but the 'air of superiority' that you speak of is often a misunderstanding. I am often accused of a similar attitude and it simply is not true. I think the misunderstanding derives from the INTJs confidence in what they know (but more so in what they do not know!) as well as the fact that they are reserved. Also, the internal world of INTJs tends to be extrordinarily complex and difficult to relate. For example, the previous sentence might come off as superior and arrogant, but that's only if you qualify "complex and difficult to relate" as "better than you," which I do not intend to convey at all.
Does this make any sense? |
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sbalbom
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas
Relationship: Single
IM: (AOL)-lordxred
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| 19 Oct 2009 11:20 PM |
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Welcome flyingpig4985 and Exodus! Glad yo have you both as new members. Feel free to continue to post away and have fun!! First I may say that long distance relationships are hard no matter how mature and stable anyone is. That will add to problems and magnify anything. Best rule to remember is to never get off the phone upset. Second, I think that a relationship at this time for you may not be the right answer. You need to focus on school and getting your life together. I applaud you for making the right choice and going back to school. Do you think he respects you? And remember that you are still young  |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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Dj_Jexx
MBTI: ENFP
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Posts:18
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| 18 Nov 2009 10:55 PM |
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My bf is an INTJ & we (Im ENFP) get along beautifully b4 i looked it up & found out we were a natural match, i guess the key is finding the right INTJ or INFJ |
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sbalbom
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas
Relationship: Single
IM: (AOL)-lordxred
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| 19 Nov 2009 02:27 PM |
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My bf is an INTJ & we (Im ENFP) get along beautifully b4 i looked it up & found out we were a natural match, i guess the key is finding the right INTJ or INFJ I'm really starting to think its that simple. |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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Psyko
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: Thirtysomething - Female
Relationship: Just got married to her amazing ENFP
IM:
ENFP Muse & Addicted
Moderator: NTs
Posts:653
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| 19 Nov 2009 03:31 PM |
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I agree! Being too hung up on types isn't a good idea, it's all about finding that one person that is a great match and being pleasantly surprised when he or she turns out to be the NF or NT that completes you
And Flyingpigs: a partner should always listen to you and never treat you like s***!!! It's got nothing to do with being an INTJ! Sounds like you diagnosed yourself when you said that you tend to stay longer than you should in bad relationships. Are you sure he isn't an ISTJ by the way? Sounds like an ISTJ thing to me, and if that is the case R U N !
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Dj_Jexx
MBTI: ENFP
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| 19 Nov 2009 11:12 PM |
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would u care 2 comment on my post "my ex-friend" (assuming u haven't already) i had a friend who i belive 2 b a ISTJ |
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JerseyCityENFP
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 42/male
Relationship: single
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Posts:208
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| 30 Jan 2010 12:59 PM |
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You might find Paul and Barbara Barron-Tieger's "Just My Type" helpful. They studied 25,000 couples on the basis of type to find out which ones got along best and stayed married. Couples that shared 3 or 4 letters did the best. It's in most library systems. |
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| To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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empath
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| 09 Apr 2010 07:41 PM |
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Your post sounds entirely too familiar. I am an ENFP dating an INTJ. I'd say when we're close, our relationship is incredible and I couldn't ask for more. When he somehow assumes his thoughts are superior to mine, that's when problems arise or I question what he really thinks life is about. I am at this point thinking that maybe our thinking styles are just too different. I hate how he'll think he has some greater understanding and thinks its "cute" the way I think. I love being an ENFP and would see myself miserable comparing my mind to an INTJ. |
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