Not sure. My first reaction is to suspect a third party getting involved to be honest. Generally, when a breakup goes smoothly and no one has any hard feelings, the ENFP is pretty content about everything. We don't like the other person to be upset about it; sometimes things just don't work out, and it's always nice when you can leave on good terms without the other person having to feel like it has to be someone's fault. But...if another person entered the picture and started saying that you were jealous or flirting with one of his friends to get back at him or something along those lines....I could see him reacting that way. If he perceives that there will be emotional issues by staying connected to you, he'd want to remove you from his sphere, which is just an upsetting thing to do anyway. I'm not saying there had to be another person. He could've had one of those moments where every possible negative idea races through the ENFP mind and we jump to unrealistic conclusions based on our own personal fears.

Be firm. Be persistent. Regardless of whether or not the relationship worked out, there's nothing wrong with wanting to stay friends, and you have no intention of making life difficult for him in any way. He may not want to talk to you, but he can at least listen to what you have to say. Confrontation is a weak point for ENFPs. >.> If you can talk to him in person, all the better.

Thanks, I am trying to persevere and I got a small response but without any helpful information. I told him I did want to stay friends and I was sorry for whatever I did that upset him, but I can't apologise properly unless he tell me. Sound good?

Welcome liquidzilla!!

Are you sure this happened completely out of the blue? That he wasn't upset with you with something from before and you triggered that somehow? Sounds like a good idea to ask him. NFs are usually very quick to want harmony, so you've got a chance if you apologize properly when you know what it is that upset him. I've learned with NFs though that they say they want to stay friends with you and then they kind of don't, but they said they wanted to be friends not to upset you after the break up. I've experienced the 'fade out' a few times.

Welcome liquidzillia!!!

Well I just did that to an ESFP. Yea bad habit of writing of people... I'm not sure why...

Oh BTW I love American Psyco. I've used the "I have to return some video tapes" line a lot. And welcome to the forum... go introduce yourself and stick around... we love INTJs here!!!

Thanks.
Psyko, we haven't been broken up very long at all, and it was an explicit "I don't want to be friends" comment. It really did come out of the blue, he just suddenly went from being fine to being really angry and then said that.
sbb, ah but are there reasons for this? Thanks, I will introduce myself properly, I was in a hurry last night.

Well, then my gut tells me that he either still have feelings for you and that it will hurt too much to keep seeing you as a friend. Or as Alysaria said, there might be a 3rd party involved on his side or your side and he can't handle it. Or you really hurt him with something you said or did and you don't know that you did. These are guesses though, go with your gut... How old are you? It helps to know if you are a teenager or older. Apologize to him for whatever you did, say that you really, really want to be friends and put the ball in his court. Maybe it's easier if you write to him? Say that you don't understand where his anger comes from and that you want to apologize if you said or did something that upset him.

Well, I found out today that he's very confused with his feelings for me, but he apologised in a very heart-felt way and said he would still like to be friends. I forgave him, as ENFPs seem to have a way with being very genuine in their apologies which makes me believe they mean it!
Thank you all for the advice!

Hm... That is what I thought, the NF/NT connection is a strong one. But even if he says that he wants to be friends, don't necessarily expect it, and get disappointed if you don't hear from him. Ok?

Well, then my gut tells me that he either still have feelings for you and that it will hurt too much to keep seeing you as a friend. Or as Alysaria said, there might be a 3rd party involved on his side or your side and he can't handle it.

Wow very good and confirmed

I'm the luv doctor

Posted By Psyko on 26 Nov 2009 12:40 PM
I'm the luv doctor

 

I need a prescription doctor

Lol! For love? I've just sent you one via Telekinesis

Posted By Psyko on 26 Nov 2009 01:21 PM
Lol! For love? I've just sent you one via Telekinesis

Me too me too!!!!

 

Sure! One prescription coming up, just close your eyes and visualize receiving it (I'm glad no one is questioning the luv doctor being single... Lol!)

well, that seems to have wrapped itself up nicely. I try to cut people off with little success in general -- I'm a softie and willing to forgive. I have done so when I thought I was hurting the other person by distracting her from moving on and meeting other people, and with a person married into my family who has just shown herself to be unhealthy for me to be around.