ENFP Relationships


1. I have not observed an other ENFP couple so I can not comment. I have dated 3 ENFP girls and have only laid one of them. The second was a big Cristian and wouldn't go there. . let me say that I don't date. I kind of have fun and plan to for the next two years.

I love ENFP girls for many reasons. They are intelligent, I can take them to business functions. They will seduce anyone. They are crazy an open to things. They are amazing in bed and kissers! But I find it hard to put up with their lack of attention to detail bills just don't get paid on time as well. They forget they made plans and they are to P for me some times. If you can handle them setting a date with you and forgetting about it... I mean not flaking literally forgetting, then you will be ok. LTR with an ENFP who is stable and does not rely on the opinions of others makes a great partner. I wasn't mature enough for that untill I was 25 though.

2. Great insite. I would say that Idealism plays a large roll then "open to possibilities" When I was married I didn't want a divorce, nor did I ever cheat. If you have an ENFP with stable values then you are fine. If not, they won't want to settle down. ENFP men and women become players after we have our hearts broken. Innately want to settle down very quickly, if it doesn't work out... you get the player before you. I've seen that with more then a few ENFP guys. Once they have their Romantic Idealism shattered, they just can't restore the faith of a committed relationship. We become too good at seduction. I think that this applys to ENFP women too but they have a greater biological and societal pressure to settle down. I think the ENFP women think they are romantics yes, but deep down they know what they are doing and they know they are being players. I friend of mine... this SUPER hot ENFP girl (long story) we were getting drunk with me at a bar. She littlerly had the whole damn place flirting with her back. She got drunk and said she can have anyone at this bar (she could have, man or women)... because she doesn't give a F*ck about them. Granted she was drinking but as the wine goes in the truth comes out. Once we are broken of that idealism, look out.

But we then forget our pain and want to settle down again.... shampoo rinse repeat

Posted By ENFPGuy on 11 Jul 2009 11:53 PM
ENFP men and women become players after we have our hearts broken.

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's the truth (at least for myself) and it is very hard to admit.

I almost always expect things to fail, and usually don't let relationships progress to a point where anyone can get hurt. >.> I think another ENFP would irritate me simply because we'd be too much alike....and I'd constantly expect them to move on. That's kind of how I reacted with an ESFP boyfriend. Greener pastures and all that.

I dunno... I'm pretty much determined that I'll be loyal and faithful....and I think maybe that's why I'm hesitant about a relationship. I look at all you other ENFPs and your horror stories about marriage.... >< I don't want to be that poor soul, clinging desparately to the remnants of a love that was never strong enough to thrive...and never had a chance without the other person putting forth any effort.

Posted By alysaria on 04 Aug 2009 07:45 AM
I almost always expect things to fail, and usually don't let relationships progress to a point where anyone can get hurt. >.> I think another ENFP would irritate me simply because we'd be too much alike....and I'd constantly expect them to move on. That's kind of how I reacted with an ESFP boyfriend. Greener pastures and all that.

I dunno... I'm pretty much determined that I'll be loyal and faithful....and I think maybe that's why I'm hesitant about a relationship. I look at all you other ENFPs and your horror stories about marriage.... >< I don't want to be that poor soul, clinging desparately to the remnants of a love that was never strong enough to thrive...and never had a chance without the other person putting forth any effort.

The intensity of the love and the scorching fires of the breakup pains I've experienced in my life have been the doorway to opening my heart wider and knowing myself better than ever before. This is part of the game of life I choose to play. I have learned so much from heartbreak and have grown incredibly from the recoveries. Failure is not an option, it's a guaranteed part of life. Each time I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the horse, I do so as a stronger man, one that's more capable of fully giving my gifts to the world with an open heart.

I dunno....I just feel like if I give and give to too many people, when I do find the person I want to spend my life with, I won't have anything special left to give them.

I really like what you just said, Alysaria, and I definitely agree. There's certain things, in my opinion, that should be kept for someone you marry.

I only had my first kiss about 6 months ago, when I was 20 .

Posted By alysaria on 08 Aug 2009 10:04 AM
I dunno....I just feel like if I give and give to too many people, when I do find the person I want to spend my life with, I won't have anything special left to give them.

Ok sweetheart. You remind me of one of my good friends :-) You're right in thinking that if you go around loving everyone all day, that can take away from the bonds of an intimate relationship with a single person. We're human nonetheless. So as you progress, consider gaining clarity on which path of feminine growth you'd like to undertake. Here are two videos that can give some perspective. The first is about the feminine awakening through loving the world and all beings as One and the second focuses more on intimate relationships. Both are pretty heady and intellectual, but can provide useful insight. I hope this will help. With love, I send thanks for all that you give.

My problem is this.... I'm picky. Well, that's not it fully. I love intensely....so I think being picky is part of keeping that intensity from...destroying me? I have very few close friends, but all of them are close enough to be considered romantic. I know I have to really be able to trust someone deeply to be that close to them.

Posted By alysaria on 08 Aug 2009 05:47 PM
My problem is this.... I'm picky. Well, that's not it fully. I love intensely....so I think being picky is part of keeping that intensity from...destroying me? I have very few close friends, but all of them are close enough to be considered romantic. I know I have to really be able to trust someone deeply to be that close to them.

Wow, Alysaria, you have multiple romantic friends? I never took you for a swinger... more power to you honey, that's hot. JK.

Posted By Amir on 12 Aug 2009 10:59 PM

Posted By alysaria on 08 Aug 2009 05:47 PM
My problem is this.... I'm picky. Well, that's not it fully. I love intensely....so I think being picky is part of keeping that intensity from...destroying me? I have very few close friends, but all of them are close enough to be considered romantic. I know I have to really be able to trust someone deeply to be that close to them.

Wow, Alysaria, you have multiple romantic friends? I never took you for a swinger... more power to you honey, that's hot. JK.

Har har har.

Amir, Thanks. Lots of good stuff.