Has anyone had any experience with this combo?  I have a "friend" that is an ISFJ man.  We have really had some rocky times...he says I cause drama (who me??) but I think it is more that we just have a hard time understanding one another.  Just curious if there is such a personality clash that it is impossible to work things out or what?  We confuse each other to no end!

Has anyone had any experience with this combo?

I'm beginning to wonder...

I have a couple of female friends who are ISFJs. They're sweethearts, but they have a couple of tendencies that can drive an ENFP crazy! First, they get trapped by their own problems. They make every issue that comes up into something huge and insurmountable, and often jump to crazy conclusions on how to fix things, stubbornly sticking to the one solution even if it doesn't make sense. The other thing is that ISFJs have this weird assumption that authority means something more aggressive than they typically are. You put an ISFJ in charge, and suddenly they become autocratic and nit-picky, freaking out over every detail. Beyond that, just realize that they need a lot of support and reassurance...which ENFPs are all too happy to give, and ISFJs become very uncomfortable with large groups of people very quickly....and always make them question why they think something. Sometimes ISFJs will act a certain way based on what they think is expected of them. >.> Don't let them be a certain way just because they think you want them to.

That is interesting.  I have an ISFJ female friend that I get along GREAT with, but this guy and I seem to have a lot of misunderstandings even though we really like each other. 

Greetings,

I am an ENFP male and my wife is ISFJ.  We've been married for 17 years...  I've got tons of thoughts on it.  I can work, but you gotta be proactive!!!!  Let me know if you have specific questions and I would love to explore the ENFP-ISFJ relationship

datbrown

 hey there.

i am enfp male dating an isfj. what does she give to you that you value? any pointers for how this can be a peaceful union?

thanks
jd
 

Greetings jd...

The most valuable thing she gives me is personal loyalty.  She is deeply loyal to me and us.  It's us against the world, and she will stand with me through anything.  She also helps to plan and schedule the basic stuff of life that I would never get around to doing.

There is hope for a peaceful union, but you will have your moments of disagreement.  She will like the little complements and simple thank yous.  Also, she will know you love her if you do the routine chores of life.  She wants you to help her, practically and logistically. 

I love my ISFJ, but it has taken a lot of growth for both of us to make it work long term.

more later,

datbrown

I have a question, but I'm not quite sure yet how to phrase it. Let's see...

Seeing their own lives as a continuation of traditions and believes, being founded through the past and extremly steadfasts because of it, I have seen a tendency to reject every information that might challange those in some way. The words rigid and inflexible come to mind.

This does not have to be a bad thing. There is great strength in stubborness and value in traditionalism and conservative attitudes. But combine this with an inability to see the future... and you can have an isfj merrily on her way to self destruction rejecting any information that demands change until rock bottom is hit.

Have you ever experienced something like this in your relationship, and if so, how did you work through it with her?