Okay, I am a total newbie on this site so I should shut the f*** up, but, well, let's just say I have lots of experience putting my foot in my mouth.

So I've seen on this site this supposed "ENFP-INTJ" love interaction, that it is an inevitable pairing of types. That struck me as a little weird b/c my father is an INTJ and I am an ENFP, and he makes almost no sense to me, very difficult to access any emotional response on his part, and he flies off the handle getting angry at little upsets that seem inconsequential to me, plus he swears a lot. My boss -also an INTJ - similar to Pops. A mystery man. An acquaintance - also INTJ. Good guy, but not much to say. A former roommate -- we got along great for 1 1/2 years, did all this crazy shit together, hiking through empty subway tunnels, 3 am DJ battles, I move out, and the guy drops off the face of the earth, like we never knew each other. So I'm kind of like, uh, why would so two very different types somehow have the stars aligned when it comes to love?

I did read that on another website, and it's a head scratcher for me.

One thing I do get is that INTJs love to talk about their own stuff, and ENFPs are willing to listen, so on the surface, an INTJ might think an ENFP is the best thing since sliced bread. But it's not a real relationship with two-way give and take.

I'm familiar with research by Paul and Barbare Barron-Tieger on 25,000 couples. They published it in their book "Just My Type." They found that couples that share 3 or 4 letters of the MBTI typing were more content in their relationships and more likely to stay married. There were variations based on specific type pairings.

Any thoughts on the best type pairing for an ENFP and also, how the idea that INTJ is a great match came to be?

JCE, it is nice to see such a wise, refreshing comment.

One of the occupational hazards of embracing MBTI is that an adherent can find themselves in a fog of preconception. A lot of websites say the ISTJ or the INTJ must be the best type for ENFPs, so it must be true, right? No evidence or data collection required!

An ENFP - INTJ romantic relationship is wonderful because we complement each other and have a lot of the same internal reactions to things. We're both strong at seeing possibilities together. It sounds like you've been exposed to male INTJs (if they were INTJs.) I don't recognize myself in losing my temper a lot or talking a lot. I can talk a lot about things I know, but I'm normally more comfortable when I listen to someone. Especially ENFPs, I looove listening to ENFP stories and take on things. I don't think I can ever get tired of that. And since you are such good story tellers with such unusual observations and feelings, I feel somewhat stupid when it's my turn to talk. I know I'm not good at telling stories. In my experience, the ones who need to talk a lot, and loses their temper much, have been E/ISTJs.

I don't think an extreme I type would get along well with an extreme E type, too much friction. Same goes for J vs P. The most important preference to share is the communication style S vs. N.  Apart from that I just think it's a matter of taste and attraction. I know I'm helplessly attracted to ENFPs, that's is why I want one. 

(It also sounds like you have experienced that crazy attraction with ENFPs/INTJs with your former roommate, before he dropped off the face of the earth.)

Don't keep your mouth shut, being a newbie, we love your input, it's your forum

An ENFP is like a puppy that is too energetic to teach tricks to or to enter into any fancy dog show. It gets food all over the floor and sloshes water out of the bowl...then proceeds to lavish sloppy wet kisses..usually on the one person who'd rather not get them. >.> However, I believe to the INTJ, the puppy is almost TOO good at wandering off just when it's bath time....and spies those sneaky glances the puppy casts around before "accidentally" knocking into the table and spilling food off. And it isn't long before the INTJ realizes that the puppy has learned how to unlock its own cage from the inside, open doors with its paws, dance on its hind legs to get treats from the neighbors, and the perfect timing for licking the cat's head in the middle of a nap to get the best startled reaction and still escape before the cat can realize what happened. In short, many types take the ENFP at face value as a goofy, hopeless, loveable mess. INTJs see right through us....just how we see right through their cold, indifferent exteriors to the squishiness within.

Alysaria, Y E S!!! You nailed it! You guys are just loveable and we see tons of potential in you We click, it's as easy as that !

OMG, hope that puppy is ok... Looked pretty stuck there for a while.

JerseyCity, that settles it, there's no way in hell they are INTJs if they appear child-like, seeking the approval of their superiors. Again an SJ thing. INTJs are the most independent of all types. We don't give a sh*t about what other people think about us. Really! I wouldn't even care if your country's president approved of me or praised me if I didn't respect him. Quite frankly approval or praise from others really doesn't mean much to me. My opinion about my accomplishments is the only that really matters to me. I'm being serious, we do not seek the approval of others. Ask Zsych or Esquilax or any other INTJ here.

(ISTJs appear cold because they are. I was married to one. He didn't meet me on any level emotionally.)