I'm just going to say to hell with it and throw myself out there.

I am looking for a friend. Simple as that.

I'm an INTJ who's crazy in the head and I'm curious to see if anybody feels they need someone, even just to talk to.

-lays head on desk patiently-

The ones of you who are likely to read this have probably read most of my other topics.

Hopefully you will.

Anybody, maybe.

I'll be your friend gladly. As will the rest of us, I'm sure.

Also, what do you define as a friend? Someone who will listen? Someone who conveys their intentions of friendship through actions? Someone who shares your viewpoints/is similar to you, therefore will get along well with you? Or someone who is willing to make some kind of connection?

See my post on your ENFP - INTJ topic.

This is where it starts, Sakari.
A friend is... someone I just want to do nice things for.
Someone I want to talk to, be talked to by.
Someone who feels needed and needs.
That... that sounds lovely.

I am looking for a friend. Simple as that.

Change your avatar to something cuter. That will make you feel like smiling. That one you have now is kind of scary. crazy ex wife scary.

Posted By sbalbom on 02 Mar 2010 06:12 PM

I am looking for a friend. Simple as that.

Change your avatar to something cuter. That will make you feel like smiling. That one you have now is kind of scary. crazy ex wife scary.

 

lol, ENFP logic.

ENFP's moods are changed by their avatars, INTJ's moods are hidden behind their avatars.

 

Show me your soul and ill show you mine.

INTJ's moods are hidden behind their avatars.

So that is to throw off the sent? A wall or shell put up?

its misdirection. i want you to think of me as my avatar not as i really am. the best place to hide something is in plain sight.

is that what schizophrenia is doing, she changed her avatar to something scary... then asked for friends?

-hug schizo- It's ok.

I am looking for a friend.

To have a friend, we need to be a friend.

We can't reap dividends if we never make investments. And I didn't figure that out until just a few years ago.

I don't think her avatar is scary. If i were to try to infer anything from her avatar i would guess she remains masked, that we shall not know the true intent or desire in the question or even her reason for being at the forum.
Her question could be a probe to determine the value of types based on the general response. A calculated question to illicit a response to a predetermined set of criteria.
It could be a measure of self worth but i don't think so.
I did sense frustration in the question. I would compare this tread to the common citizen who sees certain undesirable elements in the world surrounding their life and when they seek to answer the question why are there these elements they feel the answer is dishonest. So, they put on a mask and go out into the night to fix the problem in the best vigilante/hero they can muster.
Perhaps i over analyze.
I must away to sleep, perchance to dream ...... no more to surmise.

@JHBowden: You also need someone you yourself are willing to do things for - as schizophrenia says.

--

If you were nearby schizo, I'd drag you out to places with people and have you meet them
Even though I'm not particularly social myself... more of a choice really.

The other factor Schizo... it may be time to lower your standards, both in what you expect from other people, and in how you expect yourself to behave.

I suggest you go to bars and drink daily for a week or so (don't continue over-doing it), just to get your mind to relax, and to relax you to the point that you can hang with regular people. Also, be upfront - tell people you're looking for someone to be friends with (this would usually be guys, who are admittedly expected to start talking to you initially out of pity/protectiveness if you say such a thing... which might become fine once they get to know you better)
... Alright, I don't like the bars option for actually meeting people worth knowing. That's just to relax and talk to people who don't meet your standards.

For finding people worth knowing, try social networking sites and dating sites. Some have options for just friendship. You can also put out an ad on craigslist... showing some of the more interesting sides of who you are (stuff you expect to be interesting to people you might actually like - leave out the negative stuff, stuff that makes you angry for example (you can have a separate profile for your full personality, to see if some people like that))

Also, you can try out different coffee shops. If you find one with a somewhat casual atmosphere, and interesting people... you might try talking to people there.
Note: Friends need not be people you find physically attractive. Friends are good, intelligent people, that you like hanging with and who can care for you.

Edit: If you were all people I personally knew, I'd probably ask Alysaria to help out more

Add her on your AIM or whatever, as someone to talk to and discuss ideas with.

Also, if that is a picture of you in your avatar - even though it doesn't put me off at all, I think taking Saul's idea and changing it to something nicer might work. Take a picture of yourself in nice clothes, in a nice sunny setting.

First, to echo Psyko's suggestion in the other thread if you are worried about aspects of your life it's always a good idea to talk to a professional to help you get on the right track.

Your avatar has so much character and is very striking. Made me do a double-take. To jump on the psychoanalysing avatars bandwagon, I would choose that avatar to communicate "straight up, I can be a little strange, kooky and intense but fun. If you're not put-off by this pic, we'll get along just fine". Kinda like, a pic says 1000 words.

I think that us INTJ ladies have a very unique and challenging set of problems, and our natures prevent others from seeing just how deeply hurt we feel because we are so different, misunderstood and unappreciated. I know I was feeling really down about things as recently as yesterday.

If you want to run through what's bugging you, share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. There are several other INTJ women here who might have experienced similar issues, and a swarm of ENFPs who are great at the social side of things. Again, no substitute for a professional, but a little support helps. Go team!

Wow! Interesting conversation whilst I've been gone...
I wasn't going to put up a picture at first, because I didn't want to be based upon what I looked like.
THEN it occurred to me that I could use the most frightening image of me I have, ahurr hurr!

And now the Gods of INTJ are telling you to replace it with something more suited to your purpose - which happens to be making friends.

It is the way of the INTJ, to find solutions that suit the objectives you're trying to achieve.

But maybe I didn't want to portray myself in a friendly manner?
I thought that the picture rather captured my image in saying "Yes, I'm an INTJ. Are you frightened? Perhaps you are; will you approach me anyway? (Secretly, I think you should.)"
Because it's those people who will approach you even though you look the way you do, that matter.
Like that one ENFP.

All the reaction that picture is getting out of me is "Hmm... that's a little interesting"
Looks kinda like an allergy mask to me. Your expression doesn't strike me as one based in ill intent.


Now, I admit, a lot of people want to be liked for who they are, and to be approached by other people. Problem here being, whether its actually happening. I've always had few friends because I'm rather unbending. I remember realizing this about me as a kid "My friends have to bend towards me, because I'm not going to bend towards them"
Unlike you, I feel no significant need for people, and if I feel the need, I call friends or go out to meet random people to get rid of the feeling.

The problem is this, like your ENFP friend, most people can't dedicate their lives to casual relations. You can't find people you'll be really close to without meeting plenty of people... and a fair number of those people that are interesting and that you will like... would probably not jump into trying to be friends with someone who looks weird or dangerous (I doubt you do in regular life, but I'm just saying).

Also, lets look at our ENFP friends, most people appreciate the happier, more fun, image they project (doesn't mean that that's what they're actually feeling). Its because people empathize with what other people are feeling, so they prefer people that create a happier echo in them... which again, includes some of the people that you will find to be intellectually stimulating and generally good people.

In other words - try projecting a more positive facade. It's just a facade, it doesn't change who you are or how you think.

You can't let your emotions, and aversions control you and limit what you can do, or stop you from having what you want.

I quite liked the avatar; I didn't really see anything wrong with it. I thought you looked pretty. You look like you're concentrating on something. Concentrating to the point that you barely notice the mask is on anymore; like you once put it on there but then you forgot about it and now you don't know why people are doing double takes, because you're so used to the mask.

I don't see the negative in people--it's not that I try not to, it's just it's not what I tend to look for. Unless that person does something that provokes me, I'll generally not notice it.

Posted By Sakari on 04 Mar 2010 09:12 AM 


I don't see the negative in people--it's not that I try not to, it's just it's not what I tend to look for. Unless that person does something that provokes me, I'll generally not notice it.

Ahem. That's exactly the way I think... therefore, I think that people should not have to have to have the facade and be comfortable with themselves. I want people to be themselves, as I want to be able to be mine.