So, on a scale of 1 to 10, define the scale however you want,

How badly would you say is an ENFP scared off when someone tries to initiate contact with them, rather than the other way around?

I can suggest 1 being totally not scared, they're just busy picking their nose and being distracted by shinier objects,

10 being FIRE BREATHING DRAGON! PANIC TIME! RUN AWAY!!

Thank you for your input.

It was online.

ENFPs flake out on me after a short conversation.  I think it's either ADD or they just don't know what they want.  Maybe they think I'm boring because we get along so well.  Just frustrating sometimes.  And it's obviously not all of you

Ooh, this is very interesting.  I had not thought of this whatsoever.  As the evening wore on I wound up chatting with one for more than a short time (at long last) but it was before I saw this email.  Actually it was funny, I kept feeling like we were keeping the conversation shallow and that I wanted to make it a little deeper, and I dropped the slightest hints.  But it may also be too soon to start with that, especially with a member of the opposite sex. Well, hopefully if I get a second conversation we'll move from the shallow end.  Although the shallow end is great.  :-)  thank you!

Show passion early, and they'll either be interested or run away - women I mean. Although it depends on whether what you're passionate about is something that the other person can actually relate to.

Posted By cryptonia on 22 Mar 2010 09:49 AM 
I think Ti-dominance (being fairly rare, and not very welcome in normal social situations) confuses them a bit more than other types of people do, but if you're genuinely pretty short/unforgiving with people, then even if you try to hide it the ENFP is almost guaranteed to figure it out from things you didn't even know were related--even if it takes them freaking forever to admit it and act on it.

Let them get talking about their own motivations/values/worldview/etc, show genuine interest in it, and you'll probably have a relatively entertained and happy ENFP. I get the feeling they take pride in their uniqueness... and (as much as I hate to admit it, that pride should be so important) everyone likes it when people appreciate them for the things they're proud of. This is one of the few places I've seen in conversation where a solid dose of Ti works well... using it to ask directed questions (questions show interest, after all) to try and figure out what they think makes them special.

Can you elaborate on the 'takes forever to admit and act on when someone seems short/unforgiving'? I don't know if I can relate to that, I call bulls* fairly quickly. In a nice, roundabout way of course (ie. 'are you ok', or jokingly, 'did someone hurt you') but I do try to figure out the motivation sooner than later.

But I wholeheartedly agree with sharing my motivations/worldviews, etc with someone once I feel comfortable with them and let them into one of my closer 'inner circles'. I don't know if it's a pride in uniqueness, per say, just that the information is a part of me, and once I give it to you, I give you a piece of me. That takes a lot of trust/energy on my part so I don't do it lightly.