So I was just wondering if anyone has had any interactions with an ISTJ, and if so, what was it like?

For example, I went on a roadtrip with one, and we had a great time! But some of his comments frustrated me because they seemed so regimented.

(paraphrased for non-rambling purposes)
Me: Oh, let’s check that out!
Him: But it’s not on our itinerary, do we have time for that?
Me: ...
Him: Ok ok. I just wanted to make sure we could do x, y, and z, and we should do it in this order because the guidebook says that x is better in the morning and z at night. But I guess since W is close to x, we could stop by, but we’ll have to have a quick lunch...and maybe we can try to find parking here so we can walk, that might save time...

Can anyone relate? I have to admit, it was a very efficient trip, and relatively stress free since I didn't have to plan anything.

Any S's out there care to share your thought processes on this as well? How much would it bother you not sticking to the agenda?

I like ISTJs. But then I get along with Ts of most kinds.

ISTJs are often intelligent and capable.

Posted By ashla on 18 Mar 2010 10:20 PM

 

(paraphrased for non-rambling purposes)
Me: Oh, let’s check that out!
Him: But it’s not on our itinerary, do we have time for that?
Me: ...
Him: Ok ok. I just wanted to make sure we could do x, y, and z, and we should do it in this order because the guidebook says that x is better in the morning and z at night. But I guess since W is close to x, we could stop by, but we’ll have to have a quick lunch...and maybe we can try to find parking here so we can walk, that might save time...

 

 

HAHAHHAHAH that made me laugh hysterically! That sounds SO ISTJ.  I have had several ISTJ friends, and I love them to pieces.. I enjoy them just for that reason, I cause them to be spontaneous and they keep me in line haha. 

So I was just wondering if anyone has had any interactions with an ISTJ, and if so, what was it like?

HAHA, Psyko, I can totally relate to that. He never outright blamed me, but like, "Did you check the weather? It's raining", to which I would say, "Of course, but I love the rain so this is perfect!" Of course, sometimes I didn't check, but even if I did, I still wouldn't tell him because I knew it would throw him off his plans. Yes, we had a very healthy relationsip

He,he ask Saul to chime in about his experiences with his ISTJ ex too, we'll have a blast and can reminisce for days...

Oh, but my ISTJ ex was more advanced than blaming me for not having looked out the window, before going out. When we came home to Europe after the vacation in Hawaii, he checked the yearly statistics for precipitation and bad weather. (!!!) And he said flat out, that if I'd done my research better, I wouldn't have chosen Hawaii, since the month we went was the wettest one.. so that 'proved' that I hadn't done a good job researching before our trip. He,he! I kind of remember him wanted me to pay more for that vacation and reimburse him, because of my error. I didn't, as I'm not a one woman travel agency with a complaint department

Do I win ashla?

And he said flat out, that if I'd done my research better, I wouldn't have chosen Hawaii, since the month we went was the wettest one.. so that 'proved' that I hadn't done a good job researching before our trip.

Posted By Psyko on 22 Mar 2010 11:58 AM

He,he ask Saul to chime in about his experiences with his ISTJ ex too, we'll have a blast and can reminisce for days...

Oh, but my ISTJ ex was more advanced than blaming me for not having looked out the window, before going out. When we came home to Europe after the vacation in Hawaii, he checked the yearly statistics for precipitation and bad weather. (!!!) And he said flat out, that if I'd done my research better, I wouldn't have chosen Hawaii, since the month we went was the wettest one.. so that 'proved' that I hadn't done a good job researching before our trip. He,he! I kind of remember him wanted me to pay more for that vacation and reimburse him, because of my error. I didn't, as I'm not a one woman travel agency with a complaint department

Do I win ashla?

Hehe, Saul? Or maybe we could have that as an ENFP-chat topic. ENFP's and other type interactions  ISTJ's are really awesome at planning, though, they get a

Haha, Psyko, you had at me at '6 months before...' How about some homemade red velvet cupcakes/frosting? (I don't normally bake so much, tons of March birthdays!)

Which reminds me...both ISTJ's I know can't cook at all. This sounds ironic to me, or was it just the ones I know?

Don't get me wrong, I have SJs (ISTJs) I cherish too. They are dependable and loyal and will pick up the phone when I need to vent, can't rely on an ENFP to be available at all times. I just prefer to hang with SJs as friends and not be married to them..

 
@ Ashla: Thank you for the delicious looking cupcakes, I'll have some
@ Saul: Of course you didn't love her if you hadn't done your research before going on vacation. The proof is right there in the bad weather

Hehe, Saul? Or maybe we could have that as an ENFP-chat topic. ENFP's and other type interactions  ISTJ's are really awesome at planning,

@ Saul: Of course you didn't love her if you hadn't done your research before going on vacation. The proof is right there in the bad weather

When I read this thread I had the impression I was part of the story.

As an ISTJ I also plan more then I should, let’s say it’s a checklist against chaos.

A backup who eventually excludes all forms of liberty and freedom, it’s our constant urge for organizing things around us. Finding a balance between order and disorder takes lots of energy.

My solution to over-plan holiday’s (they should be relaxing) is to take a step aside and suppress the urge to take control.

I guess others should just tell us sometimes to relax and enjoy the moment.

PS: I can’t cook either, if this is related to my personality I have a nice excuse 

Posted By kdte on 15 Apr 2011 04:17 PM
I am an ENFP and my husband is an ISTJ. Its hard. But things are in order when he's around. He's an Electrical Engineer and a manager and I feel sorry for his employees sometimes. He really tries hard to understand me. The hardest part I find is he has no clue how to vocalize or react to feelings. He does not even realize his own. Its so frustrating to have a conversation and when "How do you feel about that?" comes up he answers in what he thinks. He tends to look real blank when you challenge his thought to become a feeling and does not answer at all. He is however a great balance with the kids, yet he can be a bit rough when it comes to school work ( Poor kids). But they get straight A's! He also shows he appreciates me. At work I am a strong ENFJ and I love to plan details of whatever we do so he rarely gets uptight on vacation. He is also very laid back and hard to unravel. He always thinks things through and he's the one you would want your grandmother to get on the phone when she cant figure out her computer. His patience and tenacity is unfathomable. The best part is that as he matures, he is willing to learn how to balance himself to be open to other ways of doing things and apologies for when he has messed up. A big deal because apologies do not come easy. I am 6 years older than he is. But no one believes it because he carries himself so much older. Overall you take the good, bad and ugly and the good outweighs the bad in this case. But the ugly.... well lets just say I tend to chalk those up to learning to make tomorrow even better. (when I come back from running away.... over and over again).

I related to so much of this!  My husband, too, is ISTJ, and you just can't make him talk about feelings.  He has them, but I don't think he can even recognize them, much less acknowledge them.  He makes emotional judgments and then tries to justify them by some convoluted "logic" that doesn't stand up to scrutiny, then gets angry and defensive.  Unlike some of the other ISTJs mentioned on this thread, though, my ISTJ is a pretty good cook.

Here's a thing I'm having problems with right now--faced with a gap of information, he always goes directly for the darkest possible explanation.  If someone (such as I) forgets to do something he asks, it is a deliberate act of sabotage.  One time I accidentally put a scratch on the side of his pickup truck, and he was certain I did it to...I don't even know why he thought I would do something like that on purpose.  Something about resentment or revenge for something he thought I might be angry about.  One time he saw me wave to a neighbor who was married to someone he was having a dispute with.  He interpreted that as a personal betrayal, proof that I was taking their side against him.  One time he assured me he was being followed by undercover detectives, because everywhere he went somebody was looking at him but it was never the same person twice.  Does this behavior sound familiar to anybody, or am I just married to a paranoid lunatic?

 

Posted By drdilemma on 19 Apr 2011 12:54 PM
Lauren,

That sounds a lot like my INTJ wife. For years we had people "following" us and we have gone round and round with the betrayal issue which turns into me pointing out double standards.

She has her redeeming qualities, but we wear each other out most of the time.

I feel you, Brother.  But I've been in this relationship long enough that I can usually see the funny side of it.  It helps that I have a few really good friends I can vent to.  They help me stay sane when he starts driving me crazy.  I've learned to say, "You could be right" when I think he's actually out of his mind.  It's not precisely a lie--it's technically possible that he's right, however unlikely.