My mom is an ESTJ....they're very similar to ISTJs (same functions, different order). One of the really nice things about extroverted thinking (Te)...which is the secondary function of ISTJs (primary of ESTJs) is that it never forgets details. SJs typically show (and perceive) affection through the most basic acts...things us ENFPs wouldn't consider to be romantic....like sweeping the floor or washing the dishes. An extension of that is remembering things that you like or mention. My mother remembers every important date, everyone's favorite foods, favorite colors....you name it....
As an example: the day after Easter, I went to the store to buy half price candy. Everything was gone except for the expensive fancy boxed candy. I mentioned it to my mom, shrugged, and figured I'd get some regular chocolate later. She went to the store today to buy my niece a birthday gift....and bought me a box of fancy candies. ^_^
With an STJ....recognizing those little gestures....and every once in a while doing a small chore means a lot.
As for feelings....I guess having an ESTJ mother has made me adapt to how to explain myself in a way that she'll be sympathetic toward.
Know your audience and relate information in a way that they will assimilate. STJs like facts. Summarize the issue, state a list of ways you have attempted to address the issue, explain why the issue *is* an issue, and request the STJ's assistance in remedying the issue. (Remember to be as straight-forward as possible. STJs are not very impressed by emotional outbursts)
1. I would like it if you talked to me more
2. I have asked you directly about your day, attempted to work it into other conversations, and offered to listen on days when you are clearly stressed out
3. I love you and you're important to me, so I want to know what's going on in your life, your thoughts, and your concerns
4. Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable talking to me?