So I'm practically dating an ESTP. We have broken up and got back together like 100000 times, really. But you know how it is, when you have too strong feelings. So we have this thing that we both can't let go. Although I've hurt him really badly, and he has hurt me REALLY BADLY. Usually I don't care about boys, you know how it goes with ENFP's when they are "in love". *eyeroll*  I thought like 10 times that OMG I'm so in love. Now I know how stupid I really was. Just some lil crushes. I got over them quickly. But now it's really different, and I don't know what to do, how to act. 

I can tell when I get on his nerves. When I get too emotional or what ever. He laughs at me when I tell him about MBTI. He says it's bull s*it. Well I don't know actually much about ESTP's. I don't know what they like/don't like etc. I was hoping that you guys could tell me more about them.

Anyways, I'm totally, completely ready to change myself for him. I'd do ANYTHING to get along better.

I can't really help much. I don't know much about STPs in general....I had one ISTP as a supervisor once.... but other than that I haven't done much observation. What I do know about SPs is that they value their freedom and independence (which is part of the reason alot of them don't care much for mbti) - labelling them as anything is unappreciated. Where ENFPs want to understand themselves and connect to other people, SPs understand themselves through experience and simply living....and the T variety doesn't seem to have any real desire to compare themselves to anyone else. If he doesn't care for the mbti, I wouldn't push it. Just let him know that if you do bring it up, it's for your own curiosity - and again, it's only a piece of a much larger, infinitely more detailed puzzle. People aren't a single attribute...and even those of the same type are unique in other ways.

For example:
I'm ENFP, Enneagram type 7w8, RBLD love type, and with the big 5 I'm ODEAC...and that's still a very little of all the aspects of type.

Communication, honesty, and trust are the framework of any successful relationship - not just romantically. >.> If you want to understand him....then be open about yourself. Tell him things that may refer to your mbti type....but without using the term ENFP.... Something I would definitely want to know and be known is the love language....how myself and my SO define showing love. "I am the type of person who needs to be told I love you....and that's how I express my feelings. I want to know how you express love so that I can show you affection your way too....but I also want you to understand that sometimes I just need to hear the words."

Also....never EVER change who you are for someone else. There's a big difference between someone bringing out the best in your naturally and making you a better person and forcing you to become their ideal, intentionally or not. It's not healthy, it's not conducive to happiness, and it's unfair to you as well as dishonest to the other person. ENFPs who try to repress any part of their emotions and, in essence, themselves will eventually explode. Your feelings aren't meant to be bottled up and trust me when I tell you that it will make you incredibly resentful in the long run if you start to feel you aren't being genuine.

I know x2

But thank you anyway..

Whatever you do, always follow your heart. Do not let the urge of manipulation overcome you, be it your partner or yourself you manipulate. (Btw, every manipulation on another being is a manipulation on yourself). To spot manipulation, ask yourself: Would i "normally" be this way? Is this how i want to be? We always attract what we are.

and lol, I'm an RBLM, i just found out.

How do you find out your love type?

http://www.okcupid.com/the-dating-persona-test

RBLD - http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=2&o=1

RBLM - http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLM&g=2&o=1

This test is way to personal for me, and i also don't want to sign to some online dating site, so i didn't take it. 

Interesting, an RBLD woman is allowed, but they don't want an RBLD man??? Somehow i am dissappointed. A woman who "makes you bleed" is just as bad as a man who hurts women emotionally. That is rude towards us men. We also have feelings. I am very angry. That is just unfair.

How come we men are always the bad ones? I don't understand it.

So, if you are an RBLD man, should you just rot where noone wants to see you, because you are an evil heartbreaker no woman ever wants?

 

I cracked yesterday. As you can hopefully see in my other post, (I make everyone unhappy), this was the last straw. I needed to vent. Hope you don't take it too personally. Yet, i still think it is unfair that a woman is seemingly allowed to "have high standards", and when a man does it, he is an asshole.

Nah, I totally understand. Don't worry.

I actually thought the "it's ok" comments were rather sarcastic for the women, to be honest. I mean "the problem's them, not you, right?" sounds rather facetious imo.

I wish we could set up our own tests here at enfp land...

I am an ESTP and dating an ENFP. I understand your frustration (seeing it in my boyfriend's eyes sometime). I honestly believe that it is not a bad idea to change ourselves for good..in your case to make things work between you guys. ENFP from my experience is very patience and willing to change for good. My ENFP has taken me back as many times as u have taken ur ESTP back. ESTP can be obnoxious about what they want and when they want it. They have a tendency to either have it or drop it... but don't worry, just wait for them to calm down and re- think things through, they will run back to u. They are most of the time very contradicting...do not know exactly what they want and need time to think about it..especially when it comes to serious matters. Most important things: do not tell them what to do. They dont mind u lead but don't act or talk like ur the boss. They demand a lot of actions; if u don't like something about them....let them know...they handle criticism well. They need space and time to be alone... can't stand anyone who is too attached to them; they appear to be hard headed but u can change them with love, care and support. Their bluntness is as sharp as a knife but they will apologize when recognize that that have hurt your feelings. One bad the.g about ESTP is that they get bored easiiy...always expect newness and excitements. When u think they are wrong, let them see their own mistakes. They will learn to be less demanding. When they hurt u... let them know.. they will fix it. U always hv to let them know how u feel...they can't read minds. Hope this helps. Best wishes to u and ur ESTP.