Hi! I've been checking out the forum regularly and thought it was time to make it official!

Also, for some strange reason the threads on ENFP-INTJ chemistry just keep drawing my attention...

Welcome, welcome ^_^

Welcome, hope you enjoy your stay :o)

Bienvenue. I continue to be amazed that somehow this ENFP-INTJ thing is bought hook-line-and-sinker. Is there any research that shows this pairing actually succeeds in the real world? I assume that someone decided it would based upon secondary and tertiary strengths? Does anyone know what the source of this originally is? I am sure INTJs are good people, but they seem pretty different from ENFPs to me. I'm experienced enough to kind of be over the whole "opposites attract" (unless we're talking dark-haired, thin nookie ) thing & believe that compatibility is the best starting place for a calm, stable long-lasting relationship.

Jersey: I keep saying this....any 2 types can go together. People are people. A relationship just requires communication, honesty, and trust to flourish. Without those, you have nothing, no matter what type you are.

That said, I personally can say that I have a preference for IN** friends...including an INTJ who is one of my best friends. My brother is also an INTJ. It's a unique and deep type...and I value their integrity, even if it's to their own values that may be backwards or not make any sense to anyone else. Not every one of a type is going to be identical either - we all have different hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams, and goals.....but the core of how you take in and process information is going to provide certain characteristics. >.> And one of those characteristics in an INTJ is....determination....a die-hard devotion to whatever they do. And loyalty. If an ENFP has the loyalty of a puppy....then an INTJ has the loyalty of a wolf to the pack. >.> A pup can easily be adopted into the pack, even if it's a goofy, silly creature that is nothing like the serious, intense wolf....but a wolf can loosen up and play with packmates too.

I've heard different things on the similarities and differences of couples. I think the most realistic sounding answer (though almost nobody seems to have any sound rules for what makes a relationship work. People who have been together for decades all like different things, and people who are sure they know what's up seem to get divorced and end up in bad ones a lot) is that it's your differences which keep things interesting, encourage growth, draw you to the other person initially, and keep you from getting bored, but your similarities that hold you together, cut down on conflict, etc.

I was actually a little surprised to find out about the ENFP/INTJ thing too, to be honest... but I guess i'm not too too surprised. The best friend I've ever had, perhaps the best I can even imagine having, is an ENFP friend of mine... and though I don't think I mean the same to him, I can tell that I'm still fairly high on his list... which still means a lot, because he's probably gotten to know 20x the number of people that I have. As very, very different as INTPs and INTJs seem to each other, I also know that we seem pretty similar to others. Both quiet, usually bright, think carefully about things with pretty relentless logic, tend not to care what other people think of us, etc. I also get the impression that self-sufficient people, who don't really need to be liked, but are still decent and generous people to others, are pretty attractive to ENFPs, who give so much and live so much "in the people around them" that they feel miserable without their selves being reflected back to them. The INTx types have practically half of that (the part that doesn't really care whether people like them or not) etched into them... so when you stumble onto one who is a genuinely decent person, I can see how you would want to know what makes that person be the way that they are.

Then when you start talking to them, you (usually) get back a strange, honest kind of interaction... because they're much less consumed by the social customs that other people have picked up. For one example, if they ask how you're doing and you actually answer their question (as opposed to "fine" or "not to bad" or "have been better," or whatever), they won't be taken by surprise, and probably won't even notice that you did something strange (I didn't notice that nobody ever answered honestly until like freshman year of college). You'll also probably realize that you can stop trying to make them feel comfortable and let your brain chill out a little bit (instead of constantly brainstorming all the ways to make the conversation "smooth" while you're talking), which is a distinct difference from when you're surrounded by a group of people who are similar to yourself. You can also safely drop the "entertainer" personality, because INTx's don't really look to happy, cheerful people to entertain them... which I imagine is also a (at least temporary) relief.

So I dunno... I can see a lot of reasons why an ENFP would enjoy talking to an INTJ. In a word: "rest". Of course, then they'll run your brain through the mill and redirect all that extra energy... but by that point, they're just causing you to change, which is still more energizing than repeating the same procedure with person after person, like you do during the rest of your day anyway. Those are some of my initial guesses, at least.

Posted By Psyko on 28 Jan 2010 03:45 PM

Ha, ha Bimmelim, since I understand your nick name, I think we might come from the same country.. Hilarious choice of name 

Welcome

Thank you for the welcome everyone!

And Psyko,, cool to meet a country(wo)man here. Why am I not surprised? No idea.

Okay, so fess up (and thanks Cryptonia and Alysaria): What does your nickname mean?

Rrr.. I forgot. Which thread was that on? What did you think the diagnosis was?

Welcome to the forum!

ENFPs and INTJs, hey? First i've heard about that

Anyways, welcome here!

Bim,

it would be good to have a more senior female ENFP around here helping out, lots of young ones that can use advice.

Posted By sbalbom on 09 Feb 2010 09:28 PM
Bim,

it would be good to have a more senior female ENFP around here helping out, lots of young ones that can use advice.

Wha!? Helping out? Aw, bummer... I came here to SEEK advise and inspiration! 

Okay, fair is fair. I'll hand out all the mature, senior, 40+, female ENFP advise I can, but just keep in mind that ENFPs don't mature in the fashion of, um, regular people...

-nodnod- that's what makes us so special, Bim. ^_^