ENFPGuy  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: M/29/Dallas Relationship: Dating an epic INTJ IM: Lordxred - (aol)
ENFP Tribe Leader Super Admin sbalbom
 Administrator Posts:259

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| 12 Jul 2009 12:59 AM |
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Both my parents are "N"s. How do you deal with them? |
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Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil. |
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sbalbom  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas Relationship: Single IM: (AOL)-lordxred Post us to Facebook Make a video about us! ENFP
 Administrator Posts:1731

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| 17 Jul 2009 02:18 PM |
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I have one S and the other N. Ss you just reveal parts of yourself to. |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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alysaria  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: Relationship: IM: Empress of Random Founding Member
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| 30 Jul 2009 09:04 AM |
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I have an ENFP father and an ESTJ mother. >.> my dad is the one I go to for money or sympathy. My mom is the one I go to for practical advice or to get things done. I love my dad, but he's a little spacey when it comes to actually getting things done. >< An ESTJ parent is a double-edged sword...especially as an ENFP. She's devoted and dependable, and will come tearing in like a lioness, claws beared, if anyone messes with her cubs.  On the other hand, she has expectations of proper behavior and will turn the scary on a misbehaving child...and she has a look that will freeze the blood in your veins. An angry ESTJ is a force to be reckoned with, and I can't imagine anyone being foolish enough to defy her once she's got that look. My neices and nephews can be little hellions sometimes...but one mention of telling grandma that they're misbehaving terrifies the bad right out of them. |
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sbalbom  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas Relationship: Single IM: (AOL)-lordxred Post us to Facebook Make a video about us! ENFP
 Administrator Posts:1731

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| 30 Jul 2009 10:33 PM |
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Lol, my ex wife was an ISTJ. I got in trouble for thinking the wrong way! She did have one hell of a nasty wrath. |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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snail  MBTI: Age/Sex: Relationship: IM: INFP Founding Member Honorary ENFP
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| 03 Aug 2009 01:58 AM |
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I get upset with people for thinking the wrong way too. Sorry about that. I think it has to do with my enneagram type rather than my MBTI type. I'm a 1w9, which is actually most common in ISTJs. My dad's an ISTJ, so I assume I learned from him to be unyielding and extreme in my values. I have an ISTJ father and an INFJ mother. I have always considered it easy to get along with both of my parents. Dad is the practical one who doesn't show any emotions, and never gets visibly angry. He is a bit cautious with money, since they don't have much of it. Mom is the one who really understands me, but is sometimes critical when stressed out. She almost always takes my side if I want something dad considers a waste of money, especially if the item will allow me to better achieve my creative potential. Dad is reasonable if mom can argue my case rationally. Usually, this involves explaining how the purchase of art supplies and musical instruments is an investment, because I can make money with them. Dad is excellent at planning. When my mother and I were going to garage sales every weekend, dad would go online, get a list of all local sales, figure out which ones had the most promising items, locate them all on a map, and tell us which ones we would have to go to in what order to get to the good ones before everything was gone. He is good at keeping track of what local concerts he thinks we might like. He seems strict and emotionless, even boring to an outside observer, but shows that he cares about us through thoughtful actions, partly by including us in his plans. He also has a charming, goofy sense of humor that only his family gets to see, and enjoys coming up with interesting new recipes to try out on us. So, I guess the answer to the question is that if I ever have trouble with the S parent's frugality, I can always go to the N parent to have my material needs fulfilled. If I have trouble with the F parent's bad moods, the T parent understands how to be patient and not take her stress too seriously. He sometimes flashes me a look that seems to say "See, she's being temporarily silly, but don't let it get to you because it's nothing personal." He can do it without seeming condescending in any way, and I find it helpful.
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| ********"Unbeing dead isn't being alive."
— e.e. cummings ******** |
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mickeymoo26  MBTI: Age/Sex: Relationship: IM:
 I just Joined Posts:9
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| 23 Dec 2009 01:37 AM |
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HOLLY KAMOLLI! I have the same parents as you SNAIL! DAD is an ISTJ and Mums an INFJ! WOW, im an ENFP. I'm so happy that others have the same situation as me. Loved the part about your mum taking your side to get creative things for you. I did Piano, Speech and Drama, Singing, Guitar,and Art at one time or another during my childhood. (I'm 15) Dad is super good with Money and planning, etc. that it was hard for him to see that anything other than school was of any value, especially creative things. Mum was the only reason I got to do any of the artistic/creative things. Which I find helped me so much, I can play piano, read music, and draw too some extent, and doing Speech and drama and singing have helped me express my talents. I love my dad but he's a little to Money/Plans and not enough creative/fun like my mum. P.S dad does have that goofy humour thing going on, it's more childish I think. Probably the only way for him to express his inner child. And he finds it hard to express emotions of love or anything that's not the tough guy/boring stale personality. |
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JerseyCityENFP  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 42/male Relationship: single IM:
 Contributing Member Posts:131

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| 26 Jan 2010 12:41 PM |
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My mom is ESFP. It's a bit of a challenge b/c I feel very close to her, so I am expecting her to talk about her feelings in a complex way, but all I get is pretty simple stuff - -if it were me, it would be that I am hiding something and avoiding intimacy, but in her it's just: that's what's there: fairly simple. So I found that frustrating although I rationalize that she's just being her S self. It was somewhat confusing, too, because she is extremely bright and academically successful, so I presumed that she also thought in a deep and abstract fashion. So far I haven't found that to be the case. |
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| To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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alysaria  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: Relationship: IM: Empress of Random Founding Member
 Administrator Posts:1814

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| 26 Jan 2010 03:17 PM |
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ESFPs are pretty simple creatures. ^_^ *Now* is all there is to them. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is a waste of time, not to mention draining, to an ESFP....and typically it only happens when they're stressed. They appreciate you most when you let them keep it light. Consider how you feel out the undertones of a group of people and sense discord or just an uneasiness, and it almost makes you perform in a way to disarm the situation. >.> ESFPs have the same secondary function and desire for harmony...so they also will react in a way to lighten the mood. However, ENFPs lead with Ne....which establishes connections, makes more abstract observations, and is aware of a whole other layer of emotional depth that the ESFP's Se cannot readily detect.
As for intelligence....I think ESFPs can be brilliant and oblivious to it at the same time. Like...you could walk into their kitchen to find it a complete mess with glass vials full of tons of fluids....and they'd have come up with the cure for every major disease in the process of creating their own energy drink. And in reaction to your look of astonishment, they'd sip their concoction, stare at you with a somewhat disinterestedly quizzical look and go "Wut?" |
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xnfp  MBTI: Age/Sex: Relationship: IM:
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| 22 Feb 2010 10:54 AM |
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Both of my parents are ISTJs. Hardcore on all letters. You can imagine confict on all letters I have with them.... |
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alysaria  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: Relationship: IM: Empress of Random Founding Member
 Administrator Posts:1814

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| 22 Feb 2010 06:47 PM |
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>< Lemme guess.....being yourself is like a personal insult to them....you can never do anything without being criticized....and they are incapable of seeing the same positive traits in you that they'd admire in another ENFP. -hug- ISTJs pretty much need an emotional bludgeoning to recognize and appreciate the value of an ENFP child. >.> I think they get stuck in a loop of thinking of ENFP children as the bane of their existence (and the cause of every premature wrinkle and grey hair) and their sweet little angel who has to be wrapped up in bubble wrap and stuffed away to protect them from the world and themselves. The Little Mermaid is probably the best example of ISTJ/ENFP parent/child relationship. They mean well, but they can be autocratic and push way too hard. Once the little ENFP has left the nest, it's easier for the ISTJ parent to be more objective. Maybe that's what S types need. N's seem to be driven to get to the core of an issue and solve things NOW....but I think S's might just need to absorb and reflect. It's easier to be objective from a distance. |
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xnfp  MBTI: Age/Sex: Relationship: IM:
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| 23 Feb 2010 08:23 AM |
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I think they get stuck in a loop of thinking of ENFP children as the bane of their existence (and the cause of every premature wrinkle and grey hair)
he he spot on. 
Basically my mother thought whole my life there's something wrong with me... for being P, F very much. I annoy them with my N too, and considered me weak and annoying for wanting always to talk or be with someone. But since I heard about MBTI it's easier because I am standing up for myself so she is pressed to acknowledge me as equally valid. Before I just didnt defend myself.
She has respect for many things in my personality - like empathy, intelect, creativity, fun, thinking - but thinks I should be able to be ALSO organized, detail-oriented (haha, huge fights about missing stocks), able to detach (cant understand why I care for friends LOL) ... I think I'll be all those things when she decides to read Nietzsche, Jung and starts to paint, and especially when she becomes counselour for people.  |
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HollyGolightly  MBTI: INFJ Age/Sex: 18/Female Relationship: Dating an INTP :) IM:
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| 26 Mar 2010 09:37 AM |
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My mother is ENFJ and my father is ESFP. It's like living with Peter and Lois Griffin... I find it hard to relate to my father as he is a very dominate sensor (in terms of the scale on his results). Also in my experience Ni and Se have a hard time relating to each other. I never really had a conversation with him until recently as we could not communicate at all. I used to doubt that he even loved me because he never seemed to take anything I said seriously. I was always worrying about future possibilities...saying that I know something would happen and he couldn't understand why I was worrying about something that wasn't actually happening right now. But with age I realised that I can't expect him to change and there is no reason for him to change. Just because someone is different it doesn't mean they are wrong and I am right. I try to talk to him and be patient with him as our communication styles are different. My dad is very creative and can draw the most amazing pictures. I recently got a place at art school so we have found a common interest and have bonded over that. I've always liked art but it's not until a couple of year ago that it became part of my life. I think even if you don't have nothing in common it's all about respecting the other person and making an effort to understand them. Even if you don't understand them it still means something that you are giving it a try. He's had to try and learn to take things seriously and I've had to learn not to be such a worry wart. And I totally agree with what you said about ESFPs, alysaria. That sums up my father completely  |
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| INFJ, 1w2 sp/so. |
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sbalbom  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas Relationship: Single IM: (AOL)-lordxred Post us to Facebook Make a video about us! ENFP
 Administrator Posts:1731

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| 27 Mar 2010 01:27 AM |
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Both of my parents are ISTJs. Hardcore on all letters. You can imagine confict on all letters I have with them.... I can't even imagine growing up with two ISTJ parents. Everything I would do would be wrong. My mother is an ISFP and father INTP. It was quite easy going. My mother is ENFJ and my father is ESFP. It's like living with Peter and Lois Griffin... I bet having an ENFJ mom would rock. Do you guys get a long? ESFP father, I bet he was super fun when you were young. How does your mother handle him? |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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HollyGolightly  MBTI: INFJ Age/Sex: 18/Female Relationship: Dating an INTP :) IM:
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| 27 Mar 2010 05:23 AM |
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My and my ENFJ mother got along very well when I was younger, mainly because my dad didn't give me much attention so I think she was trying to compensate. Now I don't get on with her as well. She used to be an healthy ENFJ but at some point she had a breakdown. And now she's just not the same woman. She used be a real, solid mother figure...now she's very childlike. She's still a good human being and mother though..she's just had a lot to contend with. The most beautiful souls are usually the ones that get hurt the most. I have no idea how she handles my father. Thanks to my mother he has clamed down...but when we were younger he took NOTHING seriously. Now I realise that he just didn't know what to say...he's useless with advice...so he just tries to cheer you up. But I took that as him not caring or thinking I was too sensitive. My mother is quite fiesty so when he's acting like a child...which is most of the time...she puts him in his place  |
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| INFJ, 1w2 sp/so. |
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sbalbom  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas Relationship: Single IM: (AOL)-lordxred Post us to Facebook Make a video about us! ENFP
 Administrator Posts:1731

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| 27 Mar 2010 09:32 PM |
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But I took that as him not caring or thinking I was too sensitive. My mother is quite fiesty so when he's acting like a child...which is most of the time...she puts him in his place
Its hard enough for ENFPs. I don't understand how ESFPs make it. Really, I just don't understand how they all don't starve to death. How do they produce enough value to make enough money to feed themselves? I mean I don't know any who can even do manual labor. I dated one who couldn't keep a job at a clothing store. I guess when they have to do something they buckle down and do it. I worked with an ESFP stock broker. He was the worst ever LOLZ. When I was 23 I was his supervisor and he had apx 20+ years of exp.
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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alysaria  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: Relationship: IM: Empress of Random Founding Member
 Administrator Posts:1814

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| 28 Mar 2010 01:20 AM |
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ESFPs survive making reality tv shows. |
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sbalbom  MBTI: ENFP Age/Sex: 28/M/Dallas Relationship: Single IM: (AOL)-lordxred Post us to Facebook Make a video about us! ENFP
 Administrator Posts:1731

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| 29 Mar 2010 01:04 AM |
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ESFPs survive making reality tv shows. lol. Really though, I guess they just party all the way through |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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HollyGolightly  MBTI: INFJ Age/Sex: 18/Female Relationship: Dating an INTP :) IM:
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| 29 Mar 2010 05:16 AM |
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I think ESFPs really need to be with a J. Their attitude is a good thing sometimes and something I would never want to change...but a lot of them don't take things seriously, especially when they are young. They usually need something in their life to have a huge impact on them to wake them up and take things more seriously. That's what happened with my dad anyway. He's less unpredictable and irresponsible now....but mainly because my mom won't let him get away with it  |
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| INFJ, 1w2 sp/so. |
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