Both my parents are "N"s. How do you deal with them?

I have one S and the other N. Ss you just reveal parts of yourself to.

I have an ENFP father and an ESTJ mother.
>.> my dad is the one I go to for money or sympathy. My mom is the one I go to for practical advice or to get things done. I love my dad, but he's a little spacey when it comes to actually getting things done. ><
An ESTJ parent is a double-edged sword...especially as an ENFP. She's devoted and dependable, and will come tearing in like a lioness, claws beared, if anyone messes with her cubs. On the other hand, she has expectations of proper behavior and will turn the scary on a misbehaving child...and she has a look that will freeze the blood in your veins. An angry ESTJ is a force to be reckoned with, and I can't imagine anyone being foolish enough to defy her once she's got that look. My neices and nephews can be little hellions sometimes...but one mention of telling grandma that they're misbehaving terrifies the bad right out of them.

Lol, my ex wife was an ISTJ. I got in trouble for thinking the wrong way! She did have one hell of a nasty wrath.

I get upset with people for thinking the wrong way too. Sorry about that. I think it has to do with my enneagram type rather than my MBTI type. I'm a 1w9, which is actually most common in ISTJs. My dad's an ISTJ, so I assume I learned from him to be unyielding and extreme in my values.

I have an ISTJ father and an INFJ mother. I have always considered it easy to get along with both of my parents. Dad is the practical one who doesn't show any emotions, and never gets visibly angry. He is a bit cautious with money, since they don't have much of it. Mom is the one who really understands me, but is sometimes critical when stressed out. She almost always takes my side if I want something dad considers a waste of money, especially if the item will allow me to better achieve my creative potential. Dad is reasonable if mom can argue my case rationally. Usually, this involves explaining how the purchase of art supplies and musical instruments is an investment, because I can make money with them.

Dad is excellent at planning. When my mother and I were going to garage sales every weekend, dad would go online, get a list of all local sales, figure out which ones had the most promising items, locate them all on a map, and tell us which ones we would have to go to in what order to get to the good ones before everything was gone. He is good at keeping track of what local concerts he thinks we might like. He seems strict and emotionless, even boring to an outside observer, but shows that he cares about us through thoughtful actions, partly by including us in his plans. He also has a charming, goofy sense of humor that only his family gets to see, and enjoys coming up with interesting new recipes to try out on us.

So, I guess the answer to the question is that if I ever have trouble with the S parent's frugality, I can always go to the N parent to have my material needs fulfilled. If I have trouble with the F parent's bad moods, the T parent understands how to be patient and not take her stress too seriously. He sometimes flashes me a look that seems to say "See, she's being temporarily silly, but don't let it get to you because it's nothing personal." He can do it without seeming condescending in any way, and I find it helpful.

HOLLY KAMOLLI!

I have the same parents as you SNAIL! DAD is an ISTJ and Mums an INFJ! WOW, im an ENFP. I'm so happy that others have the same situation as me. Loved the part about your mum taking your side to get creative things for you. I did Piano, Speech and Drama, Singing, Guitar,and Art at one time or another during my childhood. (I'm 15) Dad is super good with Money and planning, etc. that it was hard for him to see that anything other than school was of any value, especially creative things. Mum was the only reason I got to do any of the artistic/creative things. Which I find helped me so much, I can play piano, read music, and draw too some extent, and doing Speech and drama and singing have helped me express my talents.

I love my dad but he's a little to Money/Plans and not enough creative/fun like my mum.

P.S dad does have that goofy humour thing going on, it's more childish I think. Probably the only way for him to express his inner child. And he finds it hard to express emotions of love or anything that's not the tough guy/boring stale personality.

My mom is ESFP. It's a bit of a challenge b/c I feel very close to her, so I am expecting her to talk about her feelings in a complex way, but all I get is pretty simple stuff - -if it were me, it would be that I am hiding something and avoiding intimacy, but in her it's just: that's what's there: fairly simple. So I found that frustrating although I rationalize that she's just being her S self. It was somewhat confusing, too, because she is extremely bright and academically successful, so I presumed that she also thought in a deep and abstract fashion. So far I haven't found that to be the case.

Both of my parents are ISTJs. Hardcore on all letters. You can imagine confict on all letters I have with them....

>< Lemme guess.....being yourself is like a personal insult to them....you can never do anything without being criticized....and they are incapable of seeing the same positive traits in you that they'd admire in another ENFP. -hug- ISTJs pretty much need an emotional bludgeoning to recognize and appreciate the value of an ENFP child. >.> I think they get stuck in a loop of thinking of ENFP children as the bane of their existence (and the cause of every premature wrinkle and grey hair) and their sweet little angel who has to be wrapped up in bubble wrap and stuffed away to protect them from the world and themselves. The Little Mermaid is probably the best example of ISTJ/ENFP parent/child relationship. They mean well, but they can be autocratic and push way too hard. Once the little ENFP has left the nest, it's easier for the ISTJ parent to be more objective.

Maybe that's what S types need. N's seem to be driven to get to the core of an issue and solve things NOW....but I think S's might just need to absorb and reflect. It's easier to be objective from a distance.

 I think they get stuck in a loop of thinking of ENFP children as the bane of their existence (and the cause of every premature wrinkle and grey hair)

he he spot on.

 

Basically my mother thought whole my life there's something wrong with me... for being P, F very much. I annoy them with my N too, and considered me weak and annoying for wanting always to talk or be with someone. But since I heard about MBTI it's easier because I am standing up for myself so she is pressed to acknowledge me as equally valid. Before I just didnt defend myself.

She has respect for many things in my personality - like empathy, intelect, creativity, fun, thinking - but thinks I should be able to be ALSO organized, detail-oriented (haha, huge fights about missing stocks), able to detach (cant understand why I care for friends LOL) ... I think I'll be all those things when she decides to read Nietzsche, Jung and starts to paint, and especially when she becomes counselour for people.