I don't have children but how am I going to deal with them if they turn out "S"?

....get down on the floor and play games or do physical puzzles with them?

play catch and sports?

That's a really interesting question, because I have thought about similar things. I wouldn't have any idea how to be a good parent if my child turned out to be a T type, or an SJ. I don't plan on having any children, but if I did accidentally, I'm not sure an SJ would ever forgive me for my unwillingness to conform to the system, even to "earn" the right to keep him. He would probably see it as abandonment, when, in fact, I would try all options before allowing him to be stolen, including hiding in the woods with him.

I think it would be frustrating if my kids were SJs. I love NTs, I also like ISTPs. 50/50 love/hate with ESTPs are but SJs... we'll hopefully they will group up realizing that the rule is that rules should be broken.

xSFPs I think would be fine children.

ESFPs might be difficult and unruly, but entertaining and worth the difficulty. An ISFP is almost the same as an INFP, and might be okay.

I'm just afraid that I'd end up with an ESTJ child who would throw off the parent/child power balance by trying to assert his type-based dominance instead of submitting to his parents' guiding authority. I would have constant conflict in my home, trying desperately to instill proper values in someone who would consider my moral views impractical or naive, and I would have trouble reasoning with someone who didn't value the personal impact of his choices. ESTJs eat INFPs alive.

Don't panic over something that's a possibility, and a slim one at that. Typing isn't about seeing all the possibilities for conflict, it's about understanding people. Even if you somehow ended up with an ESTJ it doesn't mean he'll come flying out of the womb as a hostile force Parenting isn't ever an exact science anyway. You do your best, and having an INFP as a mom would probably help balance out his natural functions - chances are he'd end up more borderline type.

^^that is true. I made friends with an ESFJ (maybe ISFJ... but it's hard to tell) who had a dad who I think was INTJ, and she turned out to be one of the absolute coolest people I've known--and I don't even like most SFJs.

SJs are just sort of sponges for whatever environment they grow up in. With an ESTJ, you could probably get away with "I'm your parent, so do it" -- as much as I hate to admit it. All those things that you fear in arguments, snail, about getting down to the bottom line when someone says "why is love good?" and you have no reason/answer, you could get by with an ESTJ child by saying "it just is." You're his parent, so he'd listen.... at least til he became an adult or whatever.

From what I've seen, though, not too many NP parent sets tend to raise SJ kids. Just judging by the "what type are your parents?" threads that pop up every so often.

>.> What you really don't want to wish for is an ENFP child. You will never get a moment's peace with one of us.

ENFP children have endless energy.
ENFP children will ask endless questions and never stop to breathe while explaining what they did all day
ENFP children take any sort of criticism personally ("I'm disappointed in you" is the ultimate parental weapon against a disobedient NF)
ENFP children hate HAAAAAATE being told what to do - almost every command will be met with defiance
ENFP children lose interest in boring tasks - you almost have to go out of your way to make schoolwork fun
If you ask an ENFP child to clean their room, expect it to end up messier than it started...and them playing on the floor with something they found while digging around in the closet

So, raising an ENFP would be very similar to raising an INFP, only a little noisier. I'd be up for it. The only differences I see are the "endless energy" and the "not stopping to breathe when explaining..." things. All of that other stuff applied to me as a child.

ENFP children lose interest in boring tasks - you almost have to go out of your way to make schoolwork fun

send my child to school? Are you mad, woman!?

>.> There's no freaking way I'm gonna homeschool. MAYBE a tutor. MAYBE.

There is absolutely no way I would send a child away every day to be educated about who-knows-what by strangers, in a place where that child was out of my sight and could be mistreated, as I was, by cruel, strict teachers and his fellow students. School killed my love of learning and caused permanent emotional harm that has affected the quality of my adult relationships. If I had an extraverted child, I would try to find other ways of creating social bonding opportunities, and I would be actively involved in ensuring that those bonding opportunities were safe.

It's a moot point, since I would not be legally allowed to even have a child without it being stolen by the system. I don't believe in birth certificates, would not register the child in any way, do not believe in mandatory vaccinations, would essentially only be willing to raise a child if I could do so in a way that didn't violate any of my personal values. I would not keep a television in my home. I would not feed my child animal products or genetically modified produce. If none of these things warranted the removal of the child from my custody, I would be considered unfit because of my multiple mental illnesses. The only way I could have a child and keep it would be if I gave birth secretly in the middle of the woods, grew my own food, made my own clothes for my family, and educated the child myself, by my own standards. This situation would be ideal if not for the constant fear of being discovered and imprisoned/separated from my child. Anyhow... it's just not very likely. If I get pregnant, I refuse to have another abortion. I doubt that I will ever recover from the psychological damage caused by the one I already had, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. I will have the baby, but I will have to flee civilization, or possibly leave the country by boat, in order to live freely with it.

-hug- Maybe we should change the subject

Sorry about that. I get very intense over these things, because they relate directly to the ways that I have been damaged.

It's ok and understandable. I just don't want you to get too upset.

Ah, you know how we INFPs can be. I take things seriously if I see someone promoting things that I consider emotionally hurtful to others. I get angry, cry, sulk, then go back to plotting how I want to take over the world to make it safe for those who suffer. :p

snail: mental illnesses don't disqualify you from raising children. The esfj who I've told you about has I think 5-6 other siblings, and her mom has semi-regular mental breakdowns (cycling in and out of sane and not-sane in several year patterns). The other stuff, though... er... yeah.


I would totally love to homeschool my kids, lol. As an INTP, at least, if I can't pass along my thoughts, what else would I have to offer to them, as a parent? They would definitely have to find ways to meet and get along with other kids, though... especially if they were extroverts. If it's not the interaction with other kids (since you said you'd think about a tutor), what makes you so against it, alysaria?

Well, I just meant that the mental illness might be used as an excuse if none of the other things were enough, but even if I were sane, I can't imagine anyone letting me keep a child.

It would be lovely to have a child to teach, to nurture, and to love. I adore other people's children, and I am an excellent babysitter. Even the rough little ESTPs don't irritate me as much as one might think.

Posted By alysaria on 31 Jul 2009 12:48 PM
If you ask an ENFP child to clean their room, expect it to end up messier than it started...and them playing on the floor with something they found while digging around in the closet

Oh my goodness, everytime I (attempted to) cleaned my room...it still takes me several hours, because I let it get so bad