Jayme 
MBTI:
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Posts:14
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| 05 Mar 2011 08:08 PM |
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I'm new on the forums  , and i would like to ask a question for the enfp
what do you guys do when you feel alone? |
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aevi23
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 20/ M
Relationship:
IM:
Editor-in-Chief
Posts:460
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| 07 Mar 2011 11:02 AM |
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I go out and find a random group of people and make them my friends for the evening, often times we have crazy adventures then I go home and often never see them again, or they invite me to more crazy parties, that is also acceptable |
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Lauren
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 57/F
Relationship: Married
IM:
Veteran Member
Posts:242
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| 08 Mar 2011 06:21 PM |
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I always make sure to have at least three or four unread books in the house for such moments, as well as a few movies saved on the DVR. Plus I have a supply of crossword and crypto-quote puzzles, or I can work on an art, knitting, or crochet project, or write a poem. I cherish my alone time--I rarely feel lonely. If I do get lonely, there are always people I can call, or, in a real pinch, there's Facebook chat. Plus, I live in a city so if I really must be around people I can go to a coffee shop, museum, park, or bar. I can usually start up a conversation with some random person and have a good time doing so. |
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lindzmarie85
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 27/F
Relationship:
IM:
Advanced Member
Posts:132
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| 08 Mar 2011 06:33 PM |
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Ugh, feeling lonely!! SCARY!!!
Though, I tend to enjoy my alone time quite a bit. I love to read, so I'll hide in my room and read a book or talk online or on the phone instead of going out. Especially when I was in college and the drunken partying suddenly hit me as ridiculous (after about 2 years of OCC behavior on my part....).
For me right now, I've been feeling very alone/lonely. I'm back living with my parents, I currently work as a nanny (so my only human interaction is with a 2-year-old), and I come home exhausted and pass out or talk to people online. There are few friends of mine left in town, and being that I'm in the suburbs it's not like there's many places to go to really meet people except maybe Starbucks. The friends I do have here are all at different points in their life (married, often with kids), or just people I feel like are not worth my time or energy (like the so-called friends who stand me up whenever their bf - or more likely f*ck buddy - demands to do something). So it definitely makes it hard. I get really depressed about it which makes me even less willing to want to go out and be social. It becomes a vicious cycle. I'm looking forward to getting a real job and moving to a big city where I'll hopefully be able to have a better social life!!
So yeah, I'd say at least right now in my life my anti-loneliness cure is basically what Lauren said. Books, movies, puzzles, and chatting with friends on the phone/IM. |
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Not only do I not know what's going on...I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did! ~ George Carlin |
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fleetwell
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 26, M
Relationship:
IM:
Posts:46
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| 08 Mar 2011 10:36 PM |
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It's a tough one Jayme. I've moved around a lot in the past few years and now I find myself in a new city once again. I got lucky with cool roommates who introduced me to some people but they both have boyfriends of their own so loneliness has been nagging at me lately too. One thing I do is that I've actually started calling my folks a lot more and having very good conversations with them. Much longer more meaningful, wide-ranging conversations than when I lived with them in fact. Which is, I think, due to the effect of talking over the phone instead of face to face. It's often easier and more flowing when there are nothing but words to focus on. Our ENFP powers make us great at making friends (though these powers are dampened when we're in a lonely period and feeling insecure) but the tough thing is keeping those friends and deepening the relationships. I became friendly with a bunch of people very quickly in my new neighborhood (the people who work at the coffee shop who I see every day, my neighbors who I meet in the street) but usually those people just stay acquaintances and you still feel lonely. So basically what I'm doing now is inviting a few of the cool people who I see during my day to become friends. I.e. Last night I invited my neighbors (who are my age) out for drinks at a bar and later this week I'm hosting a party at my house and inviting all the random cool people that I meet through outgoing ENFPism during normal days. They probably won't all become close friends, but who knows? A few of them might! So in other words I think it's about taking action, doing cool things and inviting other people to join you. That's my friendship recipe, feel free to use it  |
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| He who dares, wins. |
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Trance City
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: 21
Relationship: Single and staying that way.
IM:
Editor
Posts:327
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| 09 Mar 2011 01:19 AM |
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I entertain myself. I paint, make music, listen to music, watch pointless television, read alternative news on the internet, go out with a friend and get into some mild level mischief, go for a drive, play a prank on someone... the possibilities are endless. |
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Nadette
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 2x/F
Relationship:
IM:
Beloved Author
Posts:680
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| 09 Mar 2011 09:49 AM |
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Our ENFP powers make us great at making friends (though these powers are dampened when we're in a lonely period and feeling insecure) Yep. but usually those people just stay acquaintances and you still feel lonely. Exactly. So basically what I'm doing now is inviting a few of the cool people who I see during my day to become friends. I.e. Last night I invited my neighbors (who are my age) out for drinks at a bar and later this week I'm hosting a party at my house and inviting all the random cool people that I meet through outgoing ENFPism during normal days. They probably won't all become close friends, but who knows? A few of them might! This is the answer! I figured this out in high school. I was really lonely and desperately needed to hang out with friends. There were no opportunities so I started hosting parties. I was annoyed and a little hurt that I had to plan the parties...you know, that no one was inviting me to their parties, but I realized that was because they weren't the ones throwing parties. That was my job. We are the social organizers. The spontaneous, creative, energetic people who crave meaningful interaction with other human beings. It is only natural that we are the ones to do a lot of the inviting. I had to learn that I needed to be the one to take social initiative. And not be hurt that I was the one with this personality....not my nonENFP friends. Also, when I get lonely now, I call a friend and talk. Or I facebook. I have found that more I "invest" in facebook, the more responses and connections I make with people. I used to be annoyed that there were never very many notifications on my facebook until I realized it was because I wasn't being very proactive in my facebooking. (Is it weird/bad that I practically have facebook socialization reduced to several scientific equations?) Write on peoples's walls, leave interesting statuses and links, start discussions! And just plain old get involved as much as you can in whatever community you can find. A lot of times lonliness is solved by investment that takes time. For me right now, I've been feeling very alone/lonely. I'm back living with my parents I'm living with my parents too, Lindzmarie. And, it can be lonely. Do you have friends that live far away? I've found that making accasional visits to long distance friends is hugely rejuvinating and worth the investment. |
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lindzmarie85
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 27/F
Relationship:
IM:
Advanced Member
Posts:132
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| 09 Mar 2011 11:59 AM |
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I'm living with my parents too, Lindzmarie. And, it can be lonely. Do you have friends that live far away? I've found that making accasional visits to long distance friends is hugely rejuvinating and worth the investment.
Nadette, I do have friends that live far away that I wish I could go visit, but time and money is not always on my side! And and unfortunately, I have the problem of out of sight out of mind....I tend to forget about friends when they're not near - especially if we have less in common now than before. But several close friends I do talk to on the phone considerably, which makes it much better. The friends I do have in the area are dear friends and I cherish our friendships, but again, when we are at very different points in our life it makes it hard.
I think right now I'm just in a funk. But I'll come out of it! |
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Not only do I not know what's going on...I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did! ~ George Carlin |
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aevi23
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 20/ M
Relationship:
IM:
Editor-in-Chief
Posts:460
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| 09 Mar 2011 12:59 PM |
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The ENFP funk sucks, i'm feeling on the verge of one right now... i had a bad weekend thats proving hard to recover from... but spring break is coming, im hoping that will be the reset i need speaking of facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/avery.swanson
add me! i always like talking ^_^ |
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lindzmarie85
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 27/F
Relationship:
IM:
Advanced Member
Posts:132
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| 09 Mar 2011 01:49 PM |
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@ Aevi, I agree, the ENFP funk does suck. I've kind of been in and out of it since last winter (and it's especially worse in the winter months), when I finished my masters degree -- the best part about grad school was that I was around people my age!!!
Do any other ENFP's suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder)? Today its raining again and I can feel my spirits down. Yesterday I got out for a walk and it was somewhat warm and even a little sunshine. It's amazing what sun can do for your mood, especially in the cold months!!
I'll add you on FB.....p.s. I'm jealous of the spring break! Plans to go somewhere warm and fun?? |
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Not only do I not know what's going on...I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did! ~ George Carlin |
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aevi23
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 20/ M
Relationship:
IM:
Editor-in-Chief
Posts:460
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| 09 Mar 2011 09:03 PM |
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I just got pulled out of my oncoming funk, i found out ive been accepted to the school I'm trying to transfer to ^_^
naaah not really, I'm headed back to Minnesota, gonna visit some friends, party a bit, and make about 3000-4000 cookies... its not that exciting but at least i get payed for it, I almost got to go to georgia with my frisbee team but i couldn't afford it... oh well
I've never suffered from SAD that I know of... I just know i get pudgier in the winter |
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fleetwell
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 26, M
Relationship:
IM:
Posts:46
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| 09 Mar 2011 10:07 PM |
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@Nadette Yeah!
I've just become more proactive about being a social organizer recently (after an extended ENFP funk) but when I think back to childhood even when we were very small I was always the leader of my little gang, always made up the games and led the adventure parties in the woods and declared "Ok we're all mutants/indians/squirrels/superheroes or what have you. I organized us into clubs, gangs and once a child detective agency. Because we're so in tune with how others are feeling and what they think of us, it's not really a bossy thing either. I didn't force anyone to follow me. After all, I was no bigger, older or cooler than any of my friends, I just had a lot of ideas that got us moving and was enthusiastic about everyone else's unique contributions to the group. In short, for all our flaws, I'd say leadership comes naturally to ENFPs
Did other ENFPs have that experience growing up?
(And congrats aevi! ) |
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| He who dares, wins. |
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caprice
MBTI: eNfP
Age/Sex: F
Relationship:
IM:
High Author
Posts:782
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| 09 Mar 2011 10:40 PM |
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I suffer from SAD. Since I live in Minnesota (hey, maybe I'll see ya around aevi23!!), and we get around 3 minutes of sunlight in December which grows by one minute increments per month through spring, winter is not my cheeriest season. When spring rolls around, I sit out on the patio facing the sun for hours at a time. It makes me so happy.
@Fleetwell: I was absolutely the social organizer growing up. If an ENFP is really bored or lonely they'll figure out a way to fix it. Crabby is another thing.... Actually we can fix this too. We're problem solvers!! |
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optimaler
MBTI: INTJ (1w9)
Age/Sex: 24/M
Relationship: There are mostly evil things, but some good things
IM:
Senior Editor
Posts:407
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| 10 Mar 2011 12:27 AM |
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ENFP's get depressed? I never knew. -YOUR SARCASM METER NOW NEEDS REPLACEMENT- Do the opposite of what I do when I get into that despairing lonely pit. Don't go on a forum rampage while you're locked away in your bedroom at two in the morning, while reading anti-feminist literature. It makes everything 1000 times worse. I was absolutely the social organizer growing up. I was never a social organizer, but once something is organized, I love to implement it. Give me a set event to organize and I'll go crazy making it a success; thank you Grandma for instilling a sense of proper hosting in me. |
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lindzmarie85
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 27/F
Relationship:
IM:
Advanced Member
Posts:132
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| 10 Mar 2011 09:49 AM |
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@Fleetwell, I think I was much more an INFP Calvin & Hobbes kid when I was really young. I organized things like that, but it was things in my own head. I literally got lost in my own imagination...though I think my thought processes were still extraverted (act-think-act)....does that make sense?
Like, I remember when I was really young (3 or 4 probably) I used to have imaginary friends (I had imaginary friends well into elementary school) and I made it into that my imaginary friends all went to "school" with me and my mom was our teacher and we'd go on field trips and my mom would even talk to my imaginary friends as well. And when I was a bit older (5 or 6) I used to go out and play in the area behind my house (before new houses were built it was the remnants of an old gravel mine), and I used to pretend I was a paleontologist and hunting for dinosaurs and fossils!!
Though when I was around other kids my extraverted tendencies would come out. Especially with my cousin. Our games then involved lots of running and screaming and destruction -- one such game I remember was called "Break the door down" (and likely a game of my own creation, though I don't actually recall), where we'd run around through this old Sesame Street playhouse and bang the door open every time and the person who banged the door hard enough as you ran through that the door flew off its hinges won. We played that for years.....until I believe my aunt and uncle disposed of that playhouse!! |
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Not only do I not know what's going on...I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did! ~ George Carlin |
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PurpleGiraffe
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: 28/F
Relationship: Jirafa sola
IM:
Philosopher of ENFPs
Posts:964
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| 10 Mar 2011 10:11 AM |
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I try not to be lonely. It doesn't help anything. I just start to think about all of the people in my life who love me, and I'm generally fine.
Besides, I've got my pride and overactive imagination to keep me company, so I'm never really alone....Oh and a gym membership....that helps in the wintry months
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aevi23
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 20/ M
Relationship:
IM:
Editor-in-Chief
Posts:460
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| 10 Mar 2011 02:13 PM |
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I usually need to feel the love, remembering it helps, but experiencing it is the only thing that really makes me feel better.
@Caprice: Cool! where in MN are you from, I grew up an hour north of the TC, but I went to high school in Golden Valley |
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caprice
MBTI: eNfP
Age/Sex: F
Relationship:
IM:
High Author
Posts:782
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| 10 Mar 2011 08:19 PM |
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Wow! Weird!! I grew up in Golden Valley. My mom still lives there.
It's a small world after all!
You must have gone to the Arts High School? Or maybe Breck...
I wonder if everyone on the forum has lived in Golden Valley at one point or another???????
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fleetwell
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 26, M
Relationship:
IM:
Posts:46
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| 10 Mar 2011 09:00 PM |
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Well it does sound like a magical place where pink faeries dwell. |
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| He who dares, wins. |
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aevi23
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 20/ M
Relationship:
IM:
Editor-in-Chief
Posts:460
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| 10 Mar 2011 11:34 PM |
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Arts High School ^_^ Ima go visit there at some point next week |
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