The problem I have with 'debate' is it tends to force people to chose a side and encourages black and white thinking. For example 'Is there a place for prudery in the modern world', I would say, yes, to an extent and within reason. I don't think wearing burkas is necessary, however, I don't think complete nudity is a good thing either. And really, everything is situational. Everything. I don't think I could tell you what is acceptable dress. So, debate can encourage people to become too opinionated. Personally, I think abortion is wrong. However, I don't think it should be illegal, and I've had several good friends who had abortions. And, honestly, who really knows when an embryo becomes a human being with human rights?

So I guess I don't like debate for debate's sake because I think it can be frivolous and lead to extreme and opinionated thinking.

That's one reason I like Taoism so much. It emphasizes that nothing is black and white and no rules work all of the time for everyone.

http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/core9/phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html


When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

and

The Tao doesn't take sides;
it gives birth to both good and evil.
The Master doesn't take sides;
she welcomes both saints and sinners.

and

If you close your mind in judgements
and traffic with desires,
your heart will be troubled.
If you keep your mind from judging
and aren't led by the senses,
your heart will find peace.

Posted By AnnaK on 22 Mar 2011 11:59 AM

The problem I have with 'debate' is it tends to force people to chose a side and encourages black and white thinking.
 

I don't like "debate" either.  I think it sets up artificial and arbitrary limits on the scope of a subject.  I'm a big fan of "discussion," though.  I like exploring the relative values and viewpoints on a subject, with the objective of learning, gaining a deeper understanding of the subject, and potentially collaborating to create solutions that meet the needs of all relevant parties. 

I agree Lauren, I love discussion. That way it is more of a collaboration than a contest. You can learn from each other and come up with better ideas together than a person could on their own.

...while much of my argument was fueled by emotions, I led my argument with logic and observation/anecdotes.

Wow, thank you, lindzmarie85...that is exactly how I like to argue.

ETA: It's really nice to find other people who can articulate my thoughts better than I can sometimes on this forum.

neocron, I long to have more depth than I do, and it causes me great pain to be deeply aware of this weakness in myself. I need approval from others and I seek this from the external world. My introverted friends, due to their introverted nature, are better able to sit with one subject for hours, resulting in a deep connection with their passion. My lack of depth, in my opinion, comes from the inability to trust my inner voice (I'm an ennegram 6) as well as my inability to stick with one pursuit until I deeply understand it. I do see meaning in everything: I believe we are all connected, I wish for a utopian society where everyone is accepted and we all know how to love, and I find beauty/sorrow in life that brings me to tears.

Btw, I did not know INFJ and ENFP are a good match; my husband is an INTP (enneagram 5w4) and I can't imagine a better match for me.

P.S. I am not insinuating that other ENFP's lack depth! (I don't know any ENFP's besides myself and I am very self critical.) I simply wanted to share my personal thoughts in case they might be helpful  I hope I have not offended anyone. 

I long to have more depth than I do, and it causes me great pain to be deeply aware of this weakness in myself. I need approval from others and I seek this from the external world. My introverted friends, due to their introverted nature, are better able to sit with one subject for hours, resulting in a deep connection with their passion. My lack of depth, in my opinion, comes from the inability to trust my inner voice (I'm an ennegram 6) as well as my inability to stick with one pursuit until I deeply understand it. I do see meaning in everything: I believe we are all connected, I wish for a utopian society where everyone is accepted and we all know how to love, and I find beauty/sorrow in life that brings me to tears.