Psyko 
MBTI: INTJ
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| 20 Oct 2009 04:47 PM |
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Keirsey says that there's a difference in ENFP women and men when it comes to dating, sex and relationships. That ENFP women will generally feel more attached after having sex with someone and are more likely to commit, whereas men lose interest after a hookup. Is that true? I thought that it'd be difficult for ENFP guys to have sex without any kind of emotional connection, or can you have a connection during the hookup and then lose it after??? I'm very curious about this. |
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alysaria
MBTI: ENFP
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| 20 Oct 2009 06:21 PM |
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That sounds like stereotypical man/woman differences in general, don't you think? O.O There's this theory out there that males and females instinctively respond in this way to encourage procreation and increase survival chance of offspring. Basically, the idea is that men perceive all women as potential mates - every female is noted as an opportunity, whether she really showed interest or not. Females, on the other hand, see men as protectors....and are more inclined to want to attach a permanent mate to protect and provide for her children. >.> Where does this leave us? With Dads vs Cads of course!
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2003-10/uom-dac102203.php
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Nathan
MBTI: ENFP
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| 20 Oct 2009 07:56 PM |
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Personally, I find it very awkward trying to have any sort of relations with a woman that I am not comfortable around - possibly due to my self image or maybe just the situations i've been in. I've been in a couple situations where girls have wanted to hook up with me, and I pretty much go into a state of panic or just having no idea how to behave in such a situation and feeling very awkward (I'm not what you'd call a ladies man). When a woman is being physically aggressive, it's sort of stupefying to me and I get all giggly and ticklish in a nervous sort of way. The best sex, in my opinion, is with women I love and who love me. Otherwise, I'd just be nervous and self-conscious the whole time. I'm not sure if this is just from inexperience, or because of my personality - probably both. |
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evere
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| 21 Oct 2009 07:45 AM |
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hmm...well i dont have too much knowledge on how to tell what type people are and i seem to be attracted more to guys who are totally not like me...but i seem to be very girly, dress up a lot but comfor tis key, gentle and i guess you could say emotional, i forgive people easily, i'm zany and make a lot of non-sequiters, i HATE house-cleaning!!!, i LOVE crowds but am equally hapy with one-to-one convos although sometimes you run out of things to say...and its weird but all the women like me are almost exactly like me, creepy...
i guess the main difference bwteen guys like me and me are just the usual guy things? they see me as stupid meat coz i am scatterbrained and girly..even though i did fabulously at school when i tried but lol, you cant bring that up in onrmal convo and its prolly the skirts and uh the cut of my blouses that dumbs them up ^^ but in general i dont get any respect, which could maybe deal with but worse, that was the only way they showed love.... all my relationships ended with me feeeling so trapped and worthless i had to run plus they were really unprincipled imo OH NO SORRY THIS HAS TURNED INTO EMO RANT!!! back to business! the men who could myabe be enfp in my life are touchy-feely and proud of it yet they see it as weakness in women...really dont understand this?? but they are also more low-key than me and mah gurlz, we are over the top sometimes!! |
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alysaria
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| 21 Oct 2009 11:28 AM |
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the men who could myabe be enfp in my life are touchy-feely and proud of it yet they see it as weakness in women...really dont understand this??
This just reminded me of a random moment. When I was in high school, I was the lead in the school musical and I cried when the last show ended. My father, who is also an ENFP, shook his head and said only primadonnas cry at the end of plays >.>
 I like to bring this one up too to tease him sometimes... the day before my birthday our family dog died of a heart attack in front of me. The first words out of my dad's mouth? "Better go move the body before the cat starts eating on it"
So yea...I definitely see where you're coming from there. Not sure why that is either. Guys? Enlighten us?
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sbalbom
MBTI: ENFP
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| 21 Oct 2009 07:58 PM |
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I like to bring this one up too to tease him sometimes... the day before my birthday our family dog died of a heart attack in front of me. The first words out of my dad's mouth? "Better go move the body before the cat starts eating on it"
So yea...I definitely see where you're coming from there. Not sure why that is either. Guys? Enlighten us?
Good point Alysaria. "Yep, this is just Saul's world and we are just living in it" That is what my ENTP mentor would tell me when I would make a selfish or asshole comment. Its like I have a hard time being sensitive to other people feelings. I don't know. I have a cold streak or a bastard streak as much as any guy. Maybe this is just a guy thing... being insensitive? and it just sticks out because we are usually very sensitive. |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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Nathan
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 23/M
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| 21 Oct 2009 08:57 PM |
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Sometimes I act callous to hide my own emotions. Being very in-tuned to others' emotions makes it difficult to maintain a male gender-role in certain situations. Like when people get panicky or really frustrated and distraught, my reaction tends to be anger, because they are causing me to be uneasy. Sometimes, I just want to yell, "pull yourself together man!" and give the person a slap across the face.
I actually don't like having pets, because I get emotionally attached easily to things and thus I tend to distance myself emotionally so I don't get too choked up when they die.
I've gotten better about it, but sometimes I will just randomly be affected much more than usual. Like a few months ago, I was driving home from somewhere, and I heard a sad story on the radio - a woman was calling in to dedicate a song on the occasion of her 20 year old son who has just passed away - and I just started bawling my eyes out. I just felt so horrible for the mother that I wept the whole way home and had to sit in the car for a few minutes to regain my composure.
Sometimes, I can be much more controlling over my emotions like when a friend killed himself, I forced myself to "be a man" about it and kept myself from getting too emotionally involved. |
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nageekdoog
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| 23 Oct 2009 02:00 PM |
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Keirsey says that there's a difference in ENFP women and men when it comes to dating, sex and relationships. That ENFP women will generally feel more attached after having sex with someone and are more likely to commit, whereas men lose interest after a hookup. The only relationships I've ever had have been relatively long term (1-2 years...I'm 21) in relation to some of my friends of different types (ENTPs in particular if that says anything). Although ENFPs are said to jump around from relationship to relationship, I don't think that necessarily defines a duration for them being with a certain person. I don't usually bother with someone romantically unless I'm pretty sure I want a steady relationship with them. |
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Psyko
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: Thirtysomething - Female
Relationship: Just got married to her amazing ENFP
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| 24 Oct 2009 04:37 AM |
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Thanks for the input from different perspectives! I appreciate it  |
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Raspo
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| 11 Nov 2009 01:10 PM |
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I would say that one of the most difficult aspects of being an ENFP male was that I always felt like there was something "wrong" with me in the way I valued things vs. the other males around me. The F really throws you off in primarily T gender. When I took the MBTI in grad school it was a massive revelation... an awakening of sorts... for me which I was able to put my entire life together and make sense of it.
Raspo |
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sbalbom
MBTI: ENFP
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| 11 Nov 2009 09:10 PM |
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Hey Raspo, me too.
On a side note. I can see how being an F guy makes us seem more feminine but that is a relitive term because 75% of women are F. So what I would call F is primal. To me feelings, gut, are the primal side of us and if we are an F guy then we respond more in that way. T is logical, not animalistic.
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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Raspo
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| 17 Nov 2009 08:02 AM |
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Hey Sbalbom,
Yeah. It's rather strange how I interact with the world around me at times. I see it mostly in the way I use my intuition and how it comes into play sensing/constructing the big picture in my head. One of the most enjoyable ways was years ago when I had a CBR929 sportbike. I love the G-forces and speed you get on these bikes. The way they respond to the slightest movement you make is amazing. I had that thing up to 155 mph. =) To get an accurate picture in your mind of what that speed is like, imagine yourself on the side of the road and someone passes you going 75 mph. Now take that reference, and imagine yourself in a car doing 75mph down the freeway and someone passes you as before. It's insane.
I find that when I am riding at high speed or when there is a lot of traffic around me or maybe just a lot of complex curves in the road - I stop consciously thinking about things and instead just reach out in a way and take it all in, anticipating and reacting to things on a completely different level. Hard to explain but it is an awesome experience.
As far as the F goes, it has definitely been a huge plus in business for me. Forming positive relationships with people is such a huge factor in success and I have met a lot of great people along the way. Its ironic that I took a T job as an engineer but the F side of me has allowed me to move quickly into management and up the ladder quite far for someone my age. My talent at pattern recognition and enjoyment of what "could be" in relation to organizational development have been invaluable as I have worked primarily in startup ventures. I'm just getting ready to launch into my fourth one on a national level. =)
So what was it like when you learned that you were an ENFP? Was it as eye opening for you?
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thedeepestblue
MBTI: INTP
Age/Sex: 17/none yet
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sbalbom
MBTI: ENFP
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| 19 Nov 2009 11:09 PM |
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So what was it like when you learned that you were an ENFP? Was it as eye opening for you? It was kind of like when my voice changed when I was 12 or 13. I remember I was talking and whooomp My voice went from little boy to teen. At first I was sad, i wanted to be peter pan, I didn't want to grow up. But then I realized it was ok and better. When I realized I was an ENFP I hated that others were like me. I thought I was the only one that loved Wikipedia, etc I thought I made myself. I desired the things I desire because I chose them when in reality most of it is nature and nurture. Very little is freewill. But I'm ok with that and this has helped me understand more about who I am and others, which has lead me to truth, which makes me happy... which is a choice. |
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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star..."
"....And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche |
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Wonkavision
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 34/M
Relationship: Married
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I just Joined
Posts:9
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| 25 Nov 2009 08:08 PM |
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Posted By sbalbom on 21 Oct 2009 06:58 PM
"Yep, this is just Saul's world and we are just living in it" That is what my ENTP mentor would tell me when I would make a selfish or asshole comment. Its like I have a hard time being sensitive to other people feelings. I don't know. I have a cold streak or a bastard streak as much as any guy. Maybe this is just a guy thing... being insensitive? and it just sticks out because we are usually very sensitive.
Yeah, I definitely relate to this.
And it gets me in trouble all the time.
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Wonkavision
MBTI: ENFP
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| 25 Nov 2009 08:13 PM |
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Posted By nageekdoog on 23 Oct 2009 01:00 PM
The only relationships I've ever had have been relatively long term (1-2 years...I'm 21) in relation to some of my friends of different types (ENTPs in particular if that says anything). Although ENFPs are said to jump around from relationship to relationship, I don't think that necessarily defines a duration for them being with a certain person.
I don't usually bother with someone romantically unless I'm pretty sure I want a steady relationship with them.
Same here.
I've always dated one woman at a time and my relationships have generally been between 2-5 years long.
(I'm 34.)
I've been married for 6 years now, and we were together exclusively for 2 years before that. |
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sticknaw1
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 35/Male
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| 03 Jan 2010 02:47 PM |
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As an ENFP male I struggled with the feminine features in my personality until about the age of thirty (I'm 35 now). As I have gotten older I've become less sensitive which I think helps (we all know that guys are not supposed to be overly sensitive) and have just accepted who I am. When I was younger I tried to be "tough" and "manly" and attempted to ignore who I really was deep down inside. I played sports, got in some fights (I used to passionately hate it when people would get picked on and rather than verbally deescalate the situation would become aggressive) and even had as short stint in the military before becoming injured (divine intervention; I hated the military). I think I still try to overcompensate for being a little more sensitive but its not as bad (I workout all the time, too much). All in all I love who I am and think that people who know me realize how unique I am; just like the other ridiculously awesome enfp's on here! Question for everyone__as you have gotten older has the enfp silliness decreased? I still get a little silly but not like I once did...I was a real goof ball. |
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francisco
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 22/M
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| 12 Jan 2010 02:17 AM |
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I identify with the so many of the female ENFP traits... is this something any other male ENFPs experienced younger in life? |
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alysaria
MBTI: ENFP
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| 12 Jan 2010 12:22 PM |
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I recognize younger male ENFPs alot faster than older ones....because I see so many of my own traits in them. |
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JerseyCityENFP
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 42/male
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| 12 Jan 2010 12:43 PM |
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I don't have too much experience ENFP men compared to women. I dated one ENFP woman. In my experience, she was smart enough/skilled at abstract thinking to the point where she didn't have the natural "girliness/Help me! Protect me!" that might be present for some women. She was still very feminine, though.
I have read that "F/T" is the only Myers-Briggs dimension that has a gender split, with 67% of men being Thinkers and 67% of women being Feelers. So it stands to reason that there would be maybe twice as many ENFP women as men. |
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| To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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