Posted By mikesierra on 09 Feb 2010 01:16 AM

 It seems that most women really love when guys are, or they really hate it. I don't think there's much of a middle road for preference.

It really depends on the person. If an NF touches me and I like him, it's ok. I might even like it. If a SJ guy touches me, I want to kill him. So with NT women, I think it's safe to think that you can try touching us gently and see if we allow it or if we pull back. If we pull back or look uncomfortable, don't touch us anymore. (But you guys can get away with almost anything.)  

Here's a question for you: Why do you touch people? What does it do for you? Do you feel a stronger connection when you touch someone? Do you like that we like it? What's the touching all about? (It can be very confusing to an NT.)

Here's an example of what I mean: I have an ENFP personal trainer. He knows me quite well and we've worked together for almost a year now. For the first 6 months, I thought he was totally into me. He frequently told me how much he liked me, how well I did and he made me feel good about myself. He touched me frequently (and not just to adjust my posture etc.) He hugs me when I arrive and when I leave, he tells me that I'm special. He makes me feel like a million bucks. (I'm not paying for his sessions, and they are mandatory, so he doesn't have to brownnose me.) He noticed that he touches some of his other clients too, but not as much. Okay, so I thought he was going to ask me on a date after all of this, and even though I like him, I wasn't romantically attracted to him, so I thought about how to say no without hurting our 'relationship'. Then this happened: I learned from someone else at the centre that he's married with children and his wife works alongside him!!!!!!! I thought they were platonic colleagues!! She doesn't seem to mind his touchy-feely behaviour with his clients, she looks in the other direction. (I'm also convinced that she's an INTJ, but that's another story.) So he still touches me, yesterday he pulled my pony tail (like we're 7 years old.) And today he told me that he really, really liked me.

All of this means nothing to you guys but we interpret signals like that. It's very confusing. I'd hate to be interested in this guy and then learn about his marriage. I'd also hate not to know about Myers Briggs, to help me explain such behaviour. Learning about types and preferences has helped me so many times, when someone's behavior has puzzled me. 

God, ENFPs can be so frustrating, and you don't even realize it, do you? 

My impression is still that ENFPs touch more than the average person. And not in a sexual, inappropriate way. It seems like when you like someone, you just touch them gently and frequently. I'm talking about a quick shoulder touch, putting two fingers on an arm, stuff like that. I don't perceive my ENFP personal trainer as flirty, not anymore. I used to think so, now, I just think he values me as a person. (I know with 100% certainty that my PT is an enfp, Mikesierra. I may ask him to take the test, but he doesn't have to...)

Workplace touching is inappropriate also in other countries. I mentioned in another thread that my mentor has put his arms around me (now twice,) and asked me to make out with him. Even if it's done in a joking manner, I still think that is wildly inappropriate. (He sort of asked me out on a date two weeks ago. I shot him down saying something like this: 'That is out of the question, it'll never happen'. Hope he got the message. I'll see him again on Monday, hope there won't be any awkwardness.)

I think I figured out the ISTJ ENFP thing....at least as far as strong, intractable ISTJs. >.> I believe that they see an ENFP as young and childlike in a way that they perceive requires guidance, protection, and maturity. "I love you! You're Perfect! Now Change!" seems about right. There are definitely more accepting, laid-back ISTJs, and it's all going to depend on experience and their own willingness to understand and appreciate others for who they are....but that's my 2 cents.

And Zsych....you're not quite right there. I never had any idea my brother was an INTJ until after he took the test....then pieces clicked. O.O He always seemed so outgoing and willing to understand people.....he comes off as very ENFP in public.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=787325593&ref=nf#!/video/video.php?v=1108458645836

Posted By danstar012 on 22 Feb 2010 10:52 PM
That's sweet. Being that I have that trait and you find it charming. =)

i like your brows too.  i wanna eyebrows like that. seriously. Do you have closer photo? they are perfect.

You lie like a rug . Admit it, you love it!

I'm not much of a toucher. Maybe I will pat someone on the back if they are sad or upset to console them. When I do touch it's more playful in a way where I am doing it on purpose to annoy them . Like poking them off guard. I only hug people that like hugs or request for them (also the ones that say they hate it but secretly love it!)