So, I have been thinking about Fe vs. Fi lately.  It seems like it has been mentioned a few times on the forum lately that ENFPs are private about their feelings due to Fi.  I concur.  I don't talk about my feelings a lot and am usually more about drawing them out of others rather than expressing them a lot myself.  I don't think others would say this about me though because I am very expressive and even dramatic at times.  I feel like that expressiveness is more Ne though....not so much my inner most feelings.  I react with my environment and manipulate it (not in a bad, controlling way) through expression and drama.  I feel like I use this to tell stories and communicate, but it isn't nearly so personal as most people assume it is.  Do other ENFPs know what I am talking about?  I think we seem like extremely open people, when in reality we are very much in control of how much of ourselves we are actually sharing and have a very hidden, private core.  

I'm trying to get a good grasp of this.  When I compare myself to my INFJ friend, she is much more introverted.  She feels very comfortable around me, but is very closed off to most people.  However, since she is comfortable with me, she often dominates our conversations.  Most of our conversations involve her talking about her feelings a lot.  I enjoy listening and share my inner most feelings much less than does she.  Fe vs. Fi, or just unique friend dynamic? 

Nadette - yep, I get what you're talkin about. Drama, music etc is a good way for us to express what we otherwise shy away from.

And ENFPGuy - like! (in advent of a fb style like button.)

I've been thinking about this topic as well recently. I can relate to what you are saying Nadette. I always seem to hold back a big piece of myself emotionally despite coming across as very open.

I don't know that I don't care... I think I usually care quite a bit, though if there is a strong value involved which the sufferer has severely violated I may not offer much empathy unless or until they acknowledge that piece in the issue they are upset about. So I guess there is a conditional aspect to it which may selfish. But honestly, the people I have the closest and most meaningful relationships are Fi users for this reason. They don't just tell me what I want to hear to my face then tell someone else what they really think about it (and I see this tendency a lot with Fe users as they speak to me about other friends, family).

I don't experience Fe users as more caring or understanding, though they most definitely are better at saying the expected thing. But this doesn't always come across as sincere to me to be honest. And it also seems selfish in it's own sort of way, like acting to look good.

I think we seem like extremely open people, when in reality we are very much in control of how much of ourselves we are actually sharing and have a very hidden, private core.

The thing that I have noticed/seen is that everyone tends to hide a portion of themselves. Fe users tend to do this exact same thing. Only, they tend to focus more on acting nice, saying the right thing, doing the right thing when their happiness/ external cordiality can only be a veil to cover up/mask their hidden selves. Fi users tend to just act bubbly, funny, and/or weird as a method to distract from their own inner pathos - ie., keep the mood light by smoke and mirrors. Fi users, to me, are master magicians by trade. Fe users are harmonious people-pleasers. These are all just tricks/preferences in how to deal with and handle hidden feelings.

An Fe user would say, "Well, I don't 'want' to do Option A. I would rather do Option B. But I feel I should do Option A for such and such reasons because it is D's birthday and I like making/seeing her happy, etc."
An Fi user would say, "Well, I like having D as a friend and it is her birthday, so I would like to be there for her, etc. so I will do Option A. I would rather do Option B, but I do care about D, so."

See the difference?

Just wanted to say. Great topic! I don't have really much to say to it myself, but it's cool just reading it. 

But i guess Fe's are concerned with being nice because they want to appear as friendly/nice/be very well liked, while Fi's are concerned with being nice because "I should be nice to people as i want to be treated nicely too." Fe just wants to connect with people and looks at what is acceptable/what works, while Fi builds up an internal system for dealing with people - is my perception - no idea if it is right or not. Also, Fi seems to be more concerned with "being yourself" (Te support: "and i'll do what i do even if some people don't like it") while Fe seems to be more like "I will adhere to the social norms and this will make people happy" (Ti support: "because those norms are there for a reason - they work.")

Plus, i think Fi looks upon your own (I) feelings and values, while Fe looks at others' (E) feelings and values.

I guess due to the Fi/Te pair Fi and Te types are more proud than Fe or Ti types.

 Nadette,you're not making it up..that's true.

That's exactly the way I treat my friends!I feel like I have to respect social behaviour,and I'm extra happy when everyone is happy,and,if necessary,I can put aside my needs to make everyone's happy.

Yes,that's me!

On one occasion, i have canceled a meeting with friends to see another group of friends i hadn't seen in a loong time. I said "something got in-between" (can you say that in English?). Now the funny part was that i met my friends at the very same bar i was going to with my other friends. (The first group changed plans after i canceled). LOL. Shock.
  At first it was like: "Hello". Then we both laughed. I then explained why i canceled it and it was ok. Although i had to endure a bit of teasing afterwards from my friends that "somebody else was more important" (which i actually found funny)

For NFJs, it means quietly taking the offender aside and gently scolding them about proper behavior.

People who use Fe, when making a moral judgement, ask themselves how they feel things should be
People who use Fi, when making a moral judgement, ask themselves how they feel

People who use Fe often use the moral judgements of other people to justify an act or decision
People who use Fi often use their own previous moral judgements to justify an act or decision

People who use Fe are hyper aware of others' feelings
People who use Fi are hyper aware of how others make them feel
(this is the most confusing distinction, as they often lead to the same result)

Most Common Positives:
People who use Fe are accomodating of others' feelings, and making others feel good tends to be their goal
People who use Fi are always aware of how they would feel when treated a certain way. self actualisation tends to be their goal

Most Common Negatives:
People who use Fe tend to side with the majority, leading them to be the types more likely to act like sheep.
Fe users are sometimes bullies because they believe the moral code of the majority is the more important. It's harder for them to be subjective.

People who use Fi tend to side with the individual, or themselves, meaning they tend to resist efforts to conform in any way.
Fi users are sometimes selfish because they believe what they feel is the more important. It's harder for them to be objective.

note: the two functions are mutually exclusive (although the end conclusion is sometimes the same) and every F type faces a decision to go one way or the other in every moral decision/conclusion. 1st function types are more likely to go with one or the other from a young age and show a strong preference, 2nd function types are more likely to mix it up or remain neutral at a young age, but increasingly choose the route most natural to them as they get older.

2nd note: even when Fe types DO side against a majority- it will be because a greater majority (e.g. society at large) or a different majority (e.g. the feelings of friends from childhood, over those of people at a new job) is more important to them.

As an ENTJ, your weakest of the four main functions is Fi. These descriptions are more toward dominant or secondary feeling functions.

Introverted Feeling
[For an ENTJ] Feeling is romantic, as the ethereal as the inner world from whence it doth emerge. When it be awake, feeling evokes great passion that knows not nuance of proportion nor context. Perhaps these lesser functions inspire glorious recreational quests in worlds that never were, or may only ever be in fantasy. When overdone or taken too seriously, Fi turned outward often becomes maudlin or melodramatic. Feeling in this type appears most authentic when implied or expressed covertly in a firm handshake, accepting demeanor, or act of sacrifice thinly covered by excuses of lack of any personal interest in the relinquished item.

This gives you guys a very strong and consistent inner "anchor", but it can also put you at odds with people and things unnecessarily, without much benefit coming from it.