Well, I'm not really sure what I'm writing this for. Perhaps... perhaps it's because I just want to be understood. Or find someone who understands. Or maybe all of you understand, but have never been in a similar situation.... no, that's probably not it. I have amazing friends who understand, who sympathize, and support me. Maybe I'm just searching for pity, subconsciously. I know what I need to do. I always have, I just never... get around to it. Maybe I'm inherently passive, or just a ridiculous procrastinator (except I never get my work done anymore). At any rate, I am incredibly frustrated and angry with myself, and am rather depressed, and have been for a while. I feel like a failure. It doesn't matter that I am very intelligent. It doesn't matter that I get frustrated sitting in class, listening to classmates regurgitating what the professor said two days ago, in awful wording. It matters that I used this as an excuse to not go to class. I made so many excuses, just because I didn't feel like doing such and such task. It led to this. There are no excuses. It's all my fault, I know that. I know so many things, and I never do what I know I should be doing. I have common sense, but I'm not using it. I just feel so... dead. It's almost like there is no hope. Like I'll never be able to break out of this ridiculous mindset. And I realize that all I have to do is DECIDE THAT I WANT TO CHANGE.... but I haven't done it yet. How? I realize it's something you just do... but how can I go this long, and not decide to change? What is wrong with me... So many excuses. So much... ugh. I know this is rambly, and incoherent, and I wish I could express myself better. I... don't know. I suppose I'll add a few other things.
This subset of ADD describes me rather well ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sluggish_cognitive_tempo), and I recognize that it isn't formally recognized yet, but I believe it will be.  
What essentially happened is that the combination of a lack of motivation, a lack of discipline, an addiction to video games (trust me on this, there's a plethora of evidence), and a feeling of resignation, and inevitability that I would fail (this happened last year as well, I barely passed my senior year. I was constantly on the internet or playing video games, resulting in me staying up till the wee hours of the morning, as it takes me several hours to fall asleep if I'm not tired, and have never had a consistent sleep schedule, ever) combined into a huge clusterfuck. Now I think I'm repeating myself.... shit. At any rate, I don't know what I'm expecting from this... so... I guess I'll just find out.

@Nadette- I've always been extremely good at suppressing feelings of depression, therefore I have no idea whether the issues still affect me subconsciously. Examples: 1. Was backstabbed by a really close friend and heartbroken. I was incredibly depressed for three days, then I basically decided that being depressed sucked, and suppressed the crap out of it. 2. My dad's Huntington's Disease always depresses me when I stop to let myself think about it, but I very rarely do. I usually end up treating him like any other person, which isn't fair, because he has a major condition which has changed him greatly. (Also, my Dad is in a ridiculous amount of debt, and the overall financial situation for my family is preeetty awful). 3. I suppose, right now. I'm diving into video games, reading random articles, whatever. It keeps my brain occupied, and I usually don't let myself think about everything I said above. Whenever I do, it usually results in a state like my OP.
While my mom (mainly, but my dad to an extent) has always tried to control me, I never let it happen. I've been fighting and ignoring my parents since I was a young child. (My mom literally said that she tried to "break my spirit" when I was a child, in order to make me obedient...religion... *sigh. I can't express how many times I heard "obey your father and mother, so all that will be well with you, and you will live a long life". My parents would act like I should have to listen to them, just because I came from their genetic code. They rarely, if ever gave reasons for what they did, even if I pointed out many times why it was illogical and unintelligent. I never could resign myself to listen to them in order to avoid punishment. Idk, maybe I'm a rebel at heart... ).  My parents have always been very proud of my intellect, and very disappointed by my applications of it. However, due to my fellow classmates from my GT high school, my mind transitioned into a very... liberal, I guess would be the best way to put it... mindset. I made the ideological transition a long time ago. My parents actually stopped trying to restrict me once I had a car (got it two years ago, but my dad sold it while I was here), as it gave me a ridiculous degree of independence, and I guess they knew that I wouldn't listen anyways, and gave up... Not really sure. It was odd, they transitioned from grounding me for a year+ straight, (which I completely ignored, as always, and tried to go around) to not giving me a curfew, and basically letting me do whatever I wanted. It probably was largely because my dad was always the source of authority (while my mom is very sweet, but also very lecturing, and many other irritating things, she has never earned the respect that would enable her to become "authority" in my eyes), and when my parents divorced, my mom couldn't handle things.
I am considering the "cold turkey" thing, and I hope I can muster up the willpower to do so.
@The Jan- Will try to keep that in mi.
@Alysaria- I'm pretty sure that I'm depressed, but I also wasn't ready for college, and I realize that. You do bring up some very good points, though. I do feel like it's something I "have to do". I was already planning to take a semester off, and then come back to UT Austin next fall semester, although, if I haven't gotten my shit together by then, there's no point in going, and it will be a waste of money and time. I'm probably going to get a job, and try to find an apartment, in order to force myself into a sense of responsibility. I don't know if it'll work, but we'll see.

Well BirdsallSa, after reading your post on this thread I think I understand why you love socialism

(Also, I liked your fragged cat, I meant to edit that into my second post, but forgot).

 Okay firts of I wasn't taking a dig at you, I was merely making an observation. Note you said "I don't know what I am expecting of this...so... I guess I will just find out"

Secondly I did not supported or deny socialism, I stated that now I understood why you supported it. If you read anything other than that, then it was your perception

@Stripes-I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions (I've got a super right wing, INTJ friend who says stuff like that in a derogatory way quite often, so I was reacting to those memories).
However, I'm still curious what you saw that made you "think you understand why I love socialism".
@PurpleGiraffe-Yeah, I probably only went to class like... 20x max. That's preeetty bad. I feel quite different as well, and I don't have a good social network here, so I can empathize with that, but I don't think it was a major factor. (I do really wish I had applied for honors, as they're the people around my mental capacity, although they are certainly harder working and a bit more knowledgeable, except in the field of history. Maybe I would've felt more at home there, and therefore enjoyed the classes more, but it's a bit late for that.) 
Also, with the picture, I can switch between all three potential perspectives rather easily.
@Caprice-At least you turned in the work. I didn't :/. Also, I know that I want to get a degree in military history, but I don't particularly want to be a professor, so I'm probably going to try to get a job with the government after that. I don't really care about being wealthy, but I certainly don't want to be poor. I know all too well that I'm going to need some money in case I ever want to have a family (which I do, kids rock) (although I don't particularly like babies, which is a bit odd).
"So it sounds like you know exactly where you went wrong and feel crappy about your poor choices and habits."-Exactly.
Also, I didn't have my ADD medicine this semester, which I believe would have helped, at least to a moderate degree. I'm probably not going to get the medicine for a long time, because I have to see my psychiatrist and get a job to pay off the medical bills my dad dumped on me (around 500)... >... because he never paid the insurance...
The thing about ADD medicine is that it greatly helps focus, which is useful no matter what you're doing. However, discipline and motivation aren't affected at all, so it basically led to me being one of the best players at Call of Duty on the Xbox 360 in the world. What I need is a combination of ADD medicine, discipline, and motivation, and then I should be well on the path to success (at least, my definition of success).
I believe that a consultation would be greatly to your benefit, as the ability to focus properly (although it does get thrown off, and in a way you're even more ADD, because while your focus is laser sharp, you're still easily distracted, in my experience) is mind blowing, and it feels wonderful. Everything is just so much less frustrating.
" But I have complete confidence that you'll pull it together. I really do."- Thank you.
I'd like to thank everybody for their input. I feel better than I have in far too long.

And I really don't care if you think I am annoying Nadette. Because you lack the patience to try and see the bigger picture. Or let me put it in another way, you might understand. Sometimes it is better to figure things out for yourself, than to have someone tell you the answer.