Ask an INTJ

this "fundamental techniques in handling people" is pure gold...

Taken from "Short attention span... or disinterest?" (http://www.enfpforum.com/Home/tabid/55/aff/8/aft/709/afv/topic/Default.aspx)

 

Some tips:
Take breaks between your devotion to your hobbies/projects. Do something else, for example start another hobby, then do your old hobby/project again as 'balance'. Get yourself a book from the library, or 2 so you can toggle them (But remember yourself to write a BIG note on the calender to when you have to turn it in!!!) Reading fantasy novels is nice balance for art/music, i found. At the time being i mostly read fanfictions, but they begin to get boring, as they all seem to copy from each other... Take a break from your hobby and take a walk outside maybe (enjoy and appreciate the nature?), talk to others(! - Es get energy from extroverting! Having someone do it with you can sometimes help you going through with it), etc. etc.

Often when i have to learn for university, i take occasional breaks where i take my guitar and just strum on it a few times while humming a melody... Then about 5-20 minutes after, i go to learning again. It's refreshing.

Listen to a radio in the background while doing your hobby/project, or have the tv on so you have something else to hear in the background. Listen to music while you do it. This way you also get new information and might see or hear something interesting...
If you have to do something and don't want to, then make it nice and interesting for you - imagine your hero X and by doing this you will achieve Y, or something silly like you are on your path to world domination and this is the first step, turn on music in the background, hang posters into your room that make you smile or laugh...

also: divide and conquer! I don't like ironing, but i often have to do it to get my shirts ironed... so i just trick myself and just take 3 shirts from the pile in the other room and take them to the room with the ironing board instead of the whole pile (if i take the whole pile i will think of all the work it will cause me that may be better spent doing less boring thinghs and then i won't do it). Then after those three i will decide again if i want to take another 3 shirts to the room. While having the radio on so that i can hear something that distracts me from the boring task of ironing my clothes. If someone passes by, i will sometimes start a light conversation with them (only light - don't want to get too distracted). I cannot watch tv while ironing, tv is way too distracting and then i forget that i have to iron my clothes

I hope that helps you.

And if not... then I am sure you will come up with something.

 

This is a wonderful thread. I want show this to my sister but she would probably think that I was trying to do that INFJ "I'm know how to fix everything" thing . Plus she hasn't quite mastered this point:

5. Smile at Criticism. Try to see disagreement and discord as an opportunity for growth, because that’s exactly what it is. Try not to become overly defensive towards criticism; try to hear it and judge it objectively.

Naturally good at getting things done at the last minute with a burst of energy

Yea, I'm the same way. After all, why should I do boring tasks like schoolwork when there's fun to be had?

Yea, I'm the same way. After all, why should I do boring tasks like schoolwork when there's fun to be had?

Posted By sbalbom on 10 Apr 2010 10:39 PM

Yea, I'm the same way. After all, why should I do boring tasks like schoolwork when there's fun to be had?

This one is tough. I always did well in school but not too well... I need to get my MBA... blahhhh! Anywho... for focus I just recommend practice. Find a SUPER secluded area where you can spend a few hours by your self. No distractions. Just you, the book pen and paper.

I think it is very hard for a good looking enfp NOT to go out and cause some trouble.

list the pros of continuing to work vs the cons, and rate them according to priority. This should help you get real about what you are proposing to do (since it may feel obvious that playing half life till 3 am the week of finals is a good idea, but it might not actually be obvious)

I don't know if this has already been said, but...

Don't fret because you have faults. Don't anger yourself over what you cannot do. (Yet others seem to have it seemingly easy)
Everybody has faults, and everybody has strenghts. Focus on usings your strengths. I mean, everybody has bad, and good sides. I can be in a bad mood and throw a tantrum, but i can also be giving and loving. I can either focus on eleminating the bad parts of myself, or i can focus on strengthening the good ones.

I am not very organized. But i can be sponataneous. I can either focus on becoming more organized (and not be spontaneous because i don't focus on it), or i can focus on making the best out of being spontaneous.
I am sometimes in a bad mood. But i can also be enthusiastic. I can either focus on becoming less 'in a bad mood', or becoming more enthusiastic.

In short, you can either try to eliminate the 'bad', or you can make the best out of the 'good'.
I think we xNFPs have very high ideals of how we want to be. I have found that for myself the best ideal to have is to simply be human - i mean, with all the faults and the strengths. What is there better to be a living creature full of life? What is there better to be a human? Yeah we can strive to be angels, eleminating every demonic part within ourselves. Or we can turn the other way... but when we accept ourselves as humans, then we become something that is more than just an archetype. We become something incredibly deeper than what is seen on the surface. And somehow we realize that wanting to be an archetype was a silly quest to begin with. And somehow we see these archetypes themselfes as kind of shallow.
At least... from my point of view.

I hope this didn't come out the wrong way - another way to put it is to accept your faults, but focus on other thinghs you can do to outweigh them instead of constantly trying to get rid of them. I mean, you may not be organized and may forget thinghs - what can you do to make the forgetting not so important anymore, or how can you make a situation in which it does not matter if you forgot thinghs, or how can you make it so that it is harder to forget thinghs. Like... you forget your glasses in random places... try wearing contacts. They are harder to forget, since you cannot put them off of your eyes so easily. Instead of angering yourself because you did forget your glasses and "should not be so forgetfull". It's no use. What has happend has happend. If you have problems addressing the problem directly, then address the problem in a way that the problem vanishes.

I once 'deadlocked' my motorbike by forgetting to put off the bike lock from the back wheel - i started and then the lock was 'inside' the wheel (no better way to describe it). The solution - always lock it on the front. When i want to start, i am already looking forward, this way i see the lock and therefore cannot forget to unlock it. Also, the front wheel is not the one with the motor attached to it and is generally more accessible - so it can not 'deadlock' anymore.

I also have a tendency to, whenever i put on a new trouser, put both my moneybag and my keys into the trouser pockets. This way i cannot forget to keep them with me when i leave the house. I also keep thinghs in my moneybag normal people would not - like a pen a small paper. You never know when you have to take notes about something you noticed and don't want to forget. Since i also have the habit of randomly pulling out my moneybag and looking at its contents when i am bored... I guess you see how this works ^^

There is one thing about myself as an ENFP I've learned.

Promise to yourself:
Don't promise yourself that you are going to do something if you're not fully motivated to do it.
1. It will only make you feel worse about yourself if you don't keep it.
2. Every time you make a promise to yourself it's very likely you will make another one (this will continue until your spirit is veeery low)

So, start over. Reset everything you have on your shoulders, everything from random projects to improving your virtues.

I noticed this last spring. I had been veeery down all winter because there was sooo much I wanted to do in various aspects.

Now... Make a promise and keep it

Edit: This TIP is not only for ENFPs ofcourse. I know lots of people who behave in the same patterns. But for me this was devastating when I realized I had done very little and improved in almost nothing(And at the same time lost touch to do anything creative).