chrism 
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: m
Relationship: married
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| 26 Nov 2010 05:25 PM |
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Hi Tannhäuser,
Oh how I can relate. I just left two of my six non profit boards and put a (temporary) end to my on-the-side business.
I've found great wisdom in reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, but after 2 years am still struggling to implement the "making and keeping small commitments" part.
I'll start another thread on this....
So, yes, Tannhauser, very keen observation. Make very, very, very, very few commitments - and this includes promises you make to yourself. E.g., try to maybe only make one promise/commitment a day.
Or here is another spontaneous idea: Get a little mini-journal that fits in your pants pocket (don't waste time with electronics - they're just a new toy that tickles our fancy) (I just bought myself one and am carrying it around with me, in addition to my Smartphone and ipod touch) and write down every little promise or commitment and make it your goal to always reach 100%. If you need to break a commitment let the other person honestly know why and don't make a new commitment until you know you can keep it. Do not break any commitments made to yourself. If you've made commitments to yourself in the past but have not kept them, uncommit yourself and re-phrase them into a smaller, more achievable chunks (a la GTD, or "Getting Things Done"): What is the first simple thing that you need to do to get yourself closer to this goal.
E.g., my wife just called and I promised to be there in 30 min. So let's trace back from that: 8 min drive, 4 min to get to the car, 2 min to go to the bathroom and, say, 5 min to shut down the computer/open applications & windows. So the next step: 20 minutes before my promised arrival time I will start shutting down my computer. (oops, that is now ;-).
Oh well, I better "eat my own dog food" and keep that promise.
So long all!
chrism |
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| Be the change that You want to see in the world.
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alysaria
MBTI: ENFP
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| 26 Nov 2010 07:49 PM |
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Welcome ^_^ |
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ENFPGuy
MBTI: ENFP-Type 7
Age/Sex: M/30/Europe (from Dallas)
Relationship: Married to awesome INTJ
IM: Lordxred - (aol)
ENFP Tribe Leader Super Admin sbalbom
Administrator
Posts:438
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| 27 Nov 2010 01:46 AM |
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So, yes, Tannhauser, very keen observation. Make very, very, very, very few commitments - and this includes promises you make to yourself. E.g., try to maybe only make one promise/commitment a day. That is great, thanks chrism |
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Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil. |
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TheJan
MBTI: COOL
Age/Sex: 22/m
Relationship: Wouldn't you like to know...
IM:
Grand Author
Posts:779
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| 27 Nov 2010 03:59 AM |
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Always try to arrive 10 minutes early. Chances are, somethings going to happen in between you leaving the house and arriving and you arrive just in time. In other words - don't haste things too much and plan in extra time.
And if you arrive early you will find something to do, i am sure  |
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Malkavia
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Posts:155
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| 27 Nov 2010 09:27 PM |
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MEDITATE!
Make yourself go in your room or some calming place and just let your brain process things. Because of Ne, your mind is constantly running and sometimes you just need to let your mind slow down for a second.
This can make you a lot more focused and overall, (in my experience) happier. |
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PurpleGiraffe
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: 28/F
Relationship: Jirafa sola
IM:
Philosopher of ENFPs
Posts:964
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| 10 Dec 2010 05:19 PM |
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Remember that people aren't going to dislike you if you say "no" every once in awhile... |
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Malkavia
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Posts:155
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| 10 Dec 2010 11:09 PM |
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Remember that most people DO like you. |
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Rogarn
MBTI: INTJ
Age/Sex: M 19
Relationship: banned from loving
IM: shadowspirit1234
Earl
Posts:1796
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| 19 Dec 2010 07:44 PM |
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Posted By Malkavia on 10 Dec 2010 10:09 PM
Remember that most people DO like you.
,if you are an ENFP. If you are an INTJ, you become known as "The Dark Lord". If you don't believe me, I'll screen shot where I get called it. XD
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Malkavia
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| 23 Dec 2010 11:01 AM |
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Haha thats why I posted it under "Help ENFP tips"  But really, most ENFPs are very lucky to be a type of person everyone just seems to like. In the least they usually admire us for being ourselves all the time, even if it is a little weird or quirky. |
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TheJan
MBTI: COOL
Age/Sex: 22/m
Relationship: Wouldn't you like to know...
IM:
Grand Author
Posts:779
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| 15 Jan 2011 04:48 AM |
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Know that 95% of the time people bitch at you it is nothing personal - they are just having a bad day or are unhappy with themselves or their lives and so they bitch at you to let off steam.
Knowing this helps a big time to "stand over" it and look at it more objectively. |
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DCIdealist
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: M/21
Relationship: Single
IM:
I Just Joined
Posts:21
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| 12 Mar 2011 05:17 PM |
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Loving this thread, although it's extremely old and I doubt many people are reading it anymore. Wanted to add my own two cents:
Writing down lists is great, but I always loose the list or forget to use it or just stop caring about it, as I'm sure many of you have experienced. There are two major things that I've done to help me keep with the minutiae of life better and I want to share them with you.
1. The moment you think of something you have to do, even if it doesn't need to be done any time soon, do it immediately. If you have the energy to do it and the time and the resources, then don't even give yourself the time to think about whether or not you want to do it... Do the moment it enters your mind. Or, if you can't do it all at that moment, do at least one small part of that obligation in the moment. This may sound like telling procrastinators not to procrastinate, which it may be, but there's definitely a self-esteem boost that I get from knowing I didn't wait until the last minute to get something done, like I usually do. It makes me feel like I'm getting closer to fulfilling my ideal of being a productive person.
2. If it's not something to DO, but something you have to REMEMBER, use psychology techniques to help you remember it without a list. ENFPs tend to be drawn to psychology, so I'm sure this won't be new to very many of you. Take the piece of information you're supposed to remember, whether it be a phone number, a date, etc..., and make associations between it and something else that is around you all the time. For example, if you're trying to remember the date of a friend's birthday (which I forget all the time and always feel terrible about), imagine your friend standing in front of you and then imagine the date stamped on their forehead. Imagine having a conversation with them in which you comment on the date of their birthday. Then, every time you see your friend you'll be able to recall the date.Try other associations as well. Say it outloud along with their name. Multiple associations provide the best long term memory, so get creative and use a bunch of different techniques to remember it and you almost certainly will. This doesn't have to take a long time, by the way, as long as you really try when you do it. The moment you think of something you're supposed to remember, just take 30 seconds and try associating it with the relevant person, place, or thing in five or six different ways in your mind. Doing this has helped me a lot. It sounds like a pain, but it's really not once you get good at it.
Hope that helps some of you. I know this thread has helped me. |
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| "Do not go gentle into that good night./ Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas |
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Avery
MBTI: INFJ
Age/Sex: F
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| 17 Mar 2011 02:30 AM |
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Posted By sbalbom on 03 Jan 2010 11:50 PM
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ENFP Success
5. Smile at Criticism. Try to see disagreement and discord as an opportunity for growth, because that’s exactly what it is. Try not to become overly defensive towards criticism; try to hear it and judge it objectively.
I would say that this must be the biggest obstacle for ENFPs, right? |
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| ∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~∿~
"To love it too much is to obscure and not see what is there." - Dennis Potter
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TheJan
MBTI: COOL
Age/Sex: 22/m
Relationship: Wouldn't you like to know...
IM:
Grand Author
Posts:779
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| 17 Mar 2011 04:55 AM |
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I agree Avery. This is certainly one of the biggest problems |
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TheJan
MBTI: COOL
Age/Sex: 22/m
Relationship: Wouldn't you like to know...
IM:
Grand Author
Posts:779
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| 10 Apr 2011 02:31 AM |
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Not just for ENFPs: (But especially since our Si often just doesn't remember^^)
When feeling good, make a list of all the things you love in your life, or why you love your life.
Like start every sentence with: "I love my life because..."
When you are feeling down just look at that list, it makes you feel better instantly. |
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TomasO'malley
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| 16 Apr 2011 02:25 PM |
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hey!
one thing i found that helps is spending a day devoted to posting small notebooks and to do list hotspots on the wall, maybe near your bed, by the front door or in the hallway outside your door. have a clip board attachment or bulletin tacks to apply any loose material. make sure to include a pen or three! |
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Mr.Nobody
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex:
Relationship: Single
IM: zadruglord@yahoo.com or zadruglord on skype
I Just Joined
Posts:23
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| 01 May 2011 07:41 PM |
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Posted By TheJan on 10 Apr 2011 01:31 AM
When feeling good, make a list of all the things you love in your life, or why you love your life.
But, that would mean that I will have to write almost continuously.And my hand can't take that much time writing without it starting to hurt 
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| You miss 100% of the chances you don't take - Wayne Gretzky | Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
—Will Rogers |
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ElizIndRhythm
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 44, Female
Relationship: Single, looking
IM:
Posts:8
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| 30 Jul 2011 07:21 PM |
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Two things that have helped me the most are creating frameworks and routines for things that can be done mindlessly, and checking in regularly with close friends who truly know me.
As an example of what I mean about frameworks, I have a job where I write grant applications and manage the paperwork for those which are awarded. I am creating some basic text to use for common questions that I can plug in and manipulate rather than re-write every time, and I have created spreadsheets that block out the amounts budgeted so I can let Excel keep track of how much I have left to spend in each category. This frees up my mind for doing the fun stuff, like researching grant opportunities and brainstorming with our director of programs.
And my three best friends are amazing at cutting through my BS and telling me what I really need to hear. For example, I was whining to one friend about how concerned I was about how the atmosphere at work had changed and that this person wasn't talking to that one, and he just looked at me and said "What do you care? You hate your job anyway - it's not you." Bam! Instant stress reduction - because he was right, and my stress was really about not letting myself feel how angry I was about the job.
Actually, I think having really good friends who respect who you are as an individual is key for ENFPs. Other types too, I'm sure - but I know I need someone who knows me to pull me out of my Si when I'm stuck there. |
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| "Defending the Earth, can't argue with that." - Tenth Doctor |
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arielartist63
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: STUNNING
Relationship: ENFP/INTP
IM:
Posts:2
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| 21 Aug 2011 08:01 PM |
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Hi folks I am into buddhist retreats and meditation, I find tha it helps to slow down and I walk /exercise when I can. I think th ebuddhist philosophy of compassion to self and others id beautiful.xxx |
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Memarae
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| 16 Mar 2012 01:56 AM |
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Wow--everyone has such marvelous ideas! I'm definitely going to implement these in my life! One thing, that I've found really helpful--if I can make myself stick to it--is journaling. Just having that space where I can get back in touch with myself--while being creative! I'm also--constantly!--discovering the importance of balance....Being extroverted and intuitive seems to pull in two different directions, sometimes. The need to be with people and the need to be alone to process ideas, thoughts, and feelings both must be met to maintain a happy, healthy life. So make certain sure that you allow yourself both! *~*~Mem |
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WickedPissa
MBTI: ENFP
Age/Sex: 53
Relationship: Married to INTJ
IM:
I Just Joined
Posts:17
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| 16 Mar 2012 12:02 PM |
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Ask an INTJ In my Husband's INTJ dreams, I come to him for practical advice about organizing my life and thus, by extension, his experience of Home. Bwahaha. {He bought me a file cabinet for Christmas one year.} Poor man is the only J out of the 6 of us (wife and 4 kids), so his techniques and approach are often at odds with our realities. Herding Cats is an Art, not a Science. But don't feel bad for him.... he makes a very nice living imposing his Will and Order on others during his Day Job. He "Org Charts" entire companies with OSHA and FDA precision, saving Millions of Dollars while he's at it. Living with a herd of Ps forces him to shut off his brain each night and get some true rest (or else go out and organize the garage yet again). I have picked up my own habits of order over the 30 years of our marriage. My goal of keeping even just ONE room clean for him has expanded into order for most areas of the house. And with each child who moves out, their P-pandemonium goes along with them. It's a process. Memarae: Being extroverted and intuitive seems to pull in two different directions, sometimes. The need to be with people and the need to be alone to process ideas, thoughts, and feelings When my children were young, I used to love seeing them go off on the school bus each morning. Ahhh solitude. And I loved seeing them come back, running off the bus each afternoon. Yay! Fun People to fill my house! My Journal is my Friend. Seems I'm the only person who wants to hear what I think about lots of things. Plus, writing helps me to get my ideas in order. Inspirations strike often while I write, and so I end up solving my own N and F issues. Also, once I get these thoughts out of my mind, saved on paper if I need reference later, then I can turn my thoughts to other things that need to get done in my day. |
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