oh i dont know how to quote here!

^ This right here is the same issue I have with my INFP friend. It's like she'll make a plan, then at the last minute freak out and decide not to attend. >< Half the time she doesn't even call...and she'll apologize days later with some excuse about her phone dying or something. The thing is, I've seen her do this to other people while hanging out with me. >.> INFPs hate the idea of social interaction - once they're in it, they're fine and usually glow and everyone remembers them as lively and fun. It's like they feel they have to entertain everyone or something. -shrug- But they hate being the center of attention....she told me that she used to cry as a little kid when people sang the birthday song to her, because it made her the center of attention.

well lol it sounds more infp after reading this because i really dont like being in the center of attention. i liked when i was younger.

i imagined infp or enfp difference is mostly how much of interaction do you need - for example, do you after a busy day working with people on nothing interesting, would rather go to a party in the evening, or home to rest, or maybe meet a friend or 2?

As for your questions....if you're talking literal depression, there's an awesome thread on the topic at personalitycafe:

thanks for this, very interesting. well i am from 4 - 8 . more in not caring phase.

I was pretty negative about people too, believe it or not.... In junior high and high school, I felt like I wasn't really "normal" compared to the other kids. I got along better with younger children. In middle school, I was looked at like a freak for not liking boys and makeup and clothes like every other girl in my class....and when they couldn't use me as a dress-up doll, they pretty much stopped trying to be nice to me or hide the fact that they talked about me. In high school, it was worse - there was just an aura of hostility and disapproval that made me shell up and only really pop out to be myself in relaxed situations....like in the drama, music, art, and spanish groups/classes. I sometimes wished I had pyrokinesis like Carrie....heck, I sympathized with Carrie. I took most compliments suspiciously, expecting ulterior motives or sarcasm. I cried when I got the silliest little gifts....because I didn't expect them.

 o yes I sympathize with Carrie too.

well this is how I feel now, like I am too different from majority. But I became too negative about meeting people I tend to just disappear when things dont work out at first, and as I said my worldview is shockingly negative.

Anyone who got close to me had to jump a million hurtles so that the moment they tripped and gave up I could tell myself that I was right about no one REALLY liking me.

ou yes, very familiar...

It took 2 really good friends to reassure me, to listen to me, to accept me....and to just be themselves around me to make me start to see myself as worthy and acceptable, which suddenly made the world bright and positive again. I think for ENFPs especially, life is going to mirror what's going on inside....and no small part of that is because we have such contagious moods.

yeah it mirrors to me for sure... sometimes ii feel in love with the world, other times everybody is my enemy and treatening. latter times are more frequent nowadays.

 

Yeah i dont know about the attention thing I am definately not an attention whore by nature I dislike when someone tells me i am beautiful or something that cant be negative, but again could be I dont think I deserve any kind of compliments hehe.

Well I know INFP or ENFP isn't really important, but I'd definately like to be more socialy comfortable... :/

Thanks for answers, dear

Hey xnfp,

I agree with the others...you come across very 'ENFP'. There is a lot of variety within a type. Some are on the extreme end and others are placed more in the mild-to-moderate range. To top it off, a person's upbringing, past experiences, and insecurities can make them more withdrawn or shy. Introverted feeling plays a big part in balancing extraverted intuition. Usually around late adolescence/early-mid 20's, ENFP's become more connected with their values and overall sense of self. Traumatic experiences and anxieties can also cause the auxillary function to develop and mature sooner in ENFP's. Depending on the situation, we use different functions that fit the occassion even going against our natural tendencies or preference at times.

My introverted friends can be social and outgoing and generally don't have problems being around groups of people. Some love being the center of attention and can be quite talkative. I don't think wanting to be the center of attention or liking it has so much to do with being an E necessarily either. It depends on their comfort level and/or personal needs. I think when it comes down to it has to do with the given situation. I personally prefer hanging out one-on-one with friends and spend a lot of time on my own. My Ne and Fi is very close, but I process naturally first by picking up on patterns, meanings, and possibilities. Not everyone fits into a box perfectly.

In socionics, ENFps are basically the same animal...it's the introverts that convert funny.

Basically, it says:
Unsure about being T or F -> you are Socionics XXXp
Unsure about being S or N -> you are Socionics XXXj


Extroverts
MBTI system           Socionics system
ENFJ                       ENFj
ENTJ                       ENTj
ENFP                      ENFp
ENTP                      ENTp
ESFJ                        ESFj
ESTJ                        ESTj
ESFP                       ESFp
ESTP                       ESTp

Introverts
MBTI system          Socionics system
INFJ                       INFx
INTJ                       INTx
INFP                      INFx
INTP                      INTx
ISFJ                       ISFx
ISTJ                       ISTx
ISFP                      ISFx
ISTP                       ISTx

XNFP,

It does kinda look like 'dady' .

At the end of the day, you know who you are. I just noticed that type descriptions are taken too literally. Not everyone fits into a certain mold perfectly. Some people relate to a few types. People are more than the 4 functions and use other functions too. It's more about a natural preference than anything else.

Maybe if you understood functions it would help you get an idea of what you lean more towards. Are you perception first (intuition) or feeling? Both ENFP's and INFP's use both but in opposite order.

Extraverted Intuition

Extraverted iNtuiting involves noticing hidden meanings and interpreting them, often entertaining a wealth of possible interpretations from just one idea or interpreting what someone’s behavior really means. It also involves seeing things “as if,” with various possible representations of reality. Using this process, we can juggle many different ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and meanings in our mind at once with the possibility that they are all true. This is like weaving themes and threads together. We don’t know the weave until a thought thread appears or is drawn out in the interaction of thoughts, often brought in from other contexts. Thus a strategy or concept often emerges from the here-and-now interactions, not appearing as a whole beforehand. Using this process we can really appreciate brainstorming and trust what emerges, enjoying imaginative play with scenarios and combining possibilities, using a kind of cross-contextual thinking. Extraverted iNtuiting also can involve catalyzing people and extemporaneously shaping situations, spreading an atmosphere of change through emergent leadership.

Introverted Feeling

It is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.

Alysaria... I always liked those descriptions btw especially the geos and cosmos part. How everything somehow is connected and the stars are aligned in some way or another. It describes how I process things (actually better than I could describe myself). Introverted feeling is so tricky though since it's internal and private. It just is. It works that way in my mind and in life. When I do, it's normally subtle and hard to express in words.

ENFP's: Are you good with displaying your deep feelings/thoughts to others?

I make fun of my emotions often. :/ 

Anyway... I am still not sure about this e/i thing....

I must admit that being an INFP is not so tempting. But I am pretty traumatized person (as you can se from the OP) and I dont know exactly why... so I doubt I'm an ENFP because they say INFP is very likely to get wounded becase of cultural messages, ENFP is more culturaly acceptable so I doubt I'd get this messed up. I had very fucked up family but in the end most of it is due to my sensitivity.

Alysaria, do you know maybe how are ENFPs like when they're deeply depressed (lol i just remmebered you posted stages of depressed ENFP) but I mean is it possible to be drained by interaction in that case.... I am actually drained by breathing.  currently. I am not sure am I drained by interaction though haha...

anyway.... how much do You get energized by interaction? for example; doing all day boring phone sales about stuff you aren't interested in - would you in the evening be in a mood for party (and still energized) or would you be drained a bit and more in a mood for quiet evening?

Posted By alysaria on 18 Feb 2010 01:02 PM
Apparently your functions flip when you're really stressed out...so an ENFP becomes a negative ISTJ and an INFP becomes a negative ESTJ.

ENFPs become hermits who obsess over details and become very snippy and temperamental with any social interaction. Explaining things becomes frustrating....like words abandon you. You become critical, both of yourself and other people, and you just want to be left alone. Paranoia sets in, and everything becomes an ominous sign of some horrific fate.

INFPs take on some physical activity to avoid thought, their entire focus on some menial task (such as cleaning). They can become verbally critical to the point of hostility, but later turn that anger inward and berate themselves over their own cruelty. Sitting still is impossible.


As for energy through interaction....what energizes me is more like debate and group discussion. Anything that I find boring is going to make me irritated and not really up to doing much later. It's important for me to have fun while I work.

I definately relate more to first

I think I'm ENFP though, maybe.. because I dont get drained by constant interaction at jobs, when its more formal. I can do them all day and be energized. But I have trouble trusting people so I'm emotionally closed.

and this is closest to how I would describe myself (in better days), especially the part about liking to stay half the night up with someone and become best friends in search of themselves...   i live for those moments

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alysaria  - thanks.. i hope too...

 Susan - thanks for opinion.... well... i dont like this not-trusting-people thing.