I am experiencing extreme mood swings - sometimes i am hyper happy, then i am extremely bored, very exited, sad, etc. Is this normal for an ENFP? What can i do about it? The problem is, i normally cannot pinpoint from where it comes. They just come and go and seem to have no specific cause. Sometimes i go from angry to happy to depressed in 1 hour or so.

I mean i like experiencing emotions - but what's too much is too much. And generally i would also like to be happy, not have a 'depressive mood' or be angry.

This whole mood swing problem is going like this for years. I learned to somehow cope with it, for example by leaving the party early when a depressive mood appears (Don't want to be seen as Mr. Depressive and don't want others to feel depressive too, as emotions are contagious). Then when i am at home, i use thinghs like meditation, or talk to people i trust to make it easier. That does not mean it will not be a rough night, tough. The anger i have under control somehow... but the problem is i always seem to hurt the people i like the most most. Which of course hurts me too. I used to think that everything i touch gets hurt in some way and that therefore i should avoid socializing at all.

The latest anger outburst (which was not that intense) was when one of my friends told me i was 'kind of aggressive again'. Said in an aggressive tone, of course. This of course made me aggressive, because he clearly critized my feelings (i admit, i was a bit aggressive). Hell, i KNOW he does not mean it in a mean way and still likes me, but i just cannot control it. (He would not shut up of course, at the end he said 'yeah, of course, we talked you into it...', which made me even more angrier as it was a false accusation) I did not hurt them in any way, but i had a kind of small outburst - i was really angry and being angry just makes me sick - and makes me seem really immature. Also i know people who did not want to see me again after experiencing such an outburst.

I am irrational and always do stupid thinghs. I am not sure if i should go into details - i did thinghs that NOBODY would be proud of because i was in an extreme 'entertainer'-mood or just wanted to be the center of attention. I think i have turned a lot of people against me over the years because of doing stupid thinghs, anger outbursts, and depressive moods. I can understand it if they don't want to have to do anything with me - i can also be a complete asshole if in a bad mood.

I hope i am not rambling you to death. Nobody wants to hear depressive thoughts.

So... what can i do about it?

Btw, the tips on this site really helped me so far.

I am going to sleep now, good night... (half past 11 here at my place)

I am not sure if i should go into details

People who mess with small children are evil. Being a kid is difficult enough!

Thank you everyone for your support. You made great sense to me, alysaria in particular. But everyone of you, thank you.

I think there are two or three thinghs that keep at the back of my mind... the one thing was, my mother and father always argued with each other. Since i can think every weekend it got loud. And they never ever spoke about it after it, they just bottled it inside them. Father in particular. One just cannot talk to him about it.
It wasn't sooo bad, because we three (my two elder sisters and me, one of them is an INFP i think) always comforted each other, distracted each other, etc.. When my eldest sister moved out, it went a bit harder. One time it was so bad that we went by train to Nicole, our eldest sister.
Then my second oldest sister moved out, and one time when she came here and they had an argument, she said like: "Oh now i know why i was feeling so well the past few weeks...", as this was the second day when she was here (she's the supposed INFP)

Now they argue less, but my father drinks. Not that often, but when he does, it usually ends in an argument because he let's out all his anger and he has a tantrum and destroys everything in the vicinity. I just don't know what to do. I kept that bottled up in me too, didn't want to talk about it. I talked to my sister and i felt better afterards.

In the past time i have felt guilty that i was somehow the cause for their arguments. I talked to them about it, and they both said that it's not my fault repetious times. Now i don't fel guilty anymore, but i still feel bad when they argue. Also, my father is often so drunk that you just cannot talk to him normally.

I know one time when i came home, he was drunk, lying beneath the kitchen table, and i told him to get up and move into his bed, otherwise there will be stress again. I can also feel when he has drunken a bit. He is good at hiding it, but i can tell. I don't tell though, i think it will make things worse. I am not so sure anymore if this is a good idea. Maybe i should confront him about it. Or point it out to take off the tension that's building on the kitchen table when we eat (He often cooks, i can tell both in his demeanor and in the taste of the food if he did drink). So that it does not explode afterwards.
Sometimes I don't even know if he even likes me or takes me serious. When i made my drivers license, i asked him if i could have the car. He said he wanted me to drive a few times with him so i can get used to the car. Ok no problem, that makes sense. But he doesn't drive with me, never has time, never wants to. (Never gets thinghs done because he never starts them, i at least start them) Then when a half year passed and he still didn't drive with me, i got angry and had an outburst telling him that i need the driving experience or i could as well flush the driving license with the toilet. So what did he do? He laughed at me. He called me stupid, said "You don't forget how to drive car". Yeah maybe when you are 50 years old and drive since 30 years, you don't forget it. But i was 19, and had only driven in driving school. But all he did was laugh at me. I think he has understood now, that it is important to me (it cost alot of money). He wants to make up for it, and sometimes asks: "Do you want to drive?" or sometimes says: "I'd let you drive, but we are in a hurry today" I don't think he's a bad person (in the sense that he tries his best to be a good father), we are just very different.
When i became 18 i liked to have a hi-fi-system as a birthday present. I got it. He bought himself a new one and i got his old. Ouch. While he thought i appreciated it. I actually did, i just realized he had bought himself a new one while i got his old a few months later.
But like i said, i think he's not a bad person, we are just very different.

I  feel... peace in myself now that i have let it out.

Thanks again for your support. I really appreciate it. I consider going to a medical / therapist, if it gets worse. Oh and sbalbom, i have looked at the topic you created, i noticed those thinghs help me too. Sometimes in an argument it helps to get 'fresh air'. Talking to a friend (or people you trust) is very good advice too. Also, i noticed what you said is true(about getting less emotional). As we get older, we get 'wiser' (Whatever that means )

Posted By alysaria on 14 Feb 2010 12:40 PM
Sounds to me like there's a deeper issue you haven't confronted.

I'm going to tell you a personal story just to kind of give you an example.... >.> When I was about 6, an older boy played "house" with me....and I never told anyone until I was 21. I repressed it and it effected my emotions and the way I related to people for years because I never confronted it. I was afraid of males. I would suddenly feel angry or cry for no apparent reason....and I sometimes felt like I had to exert more energy and excitement, as if I had to put on a performance and had no other choice but to make a fool of myself. Anyway, when I was 21 there was a daytime talkshow where they were talking about abuse....and my sister-in-law made some comment about why you wouldn't want to tell someone. I said that it's hard, you do kind of feel embarrassed, and it's gets harder to say anything. Then I added I knew from personal experience and told her. She encouraged me to tell my mother. It helped me deal with my issues, and a few good relationships helped me have better self-esteem and appreciation for real connections. I value the friends that I have more because I connect on a closer level now without that big wall of self-disgust and fear there. ^_^

-hug- You may need some professional assistance just to help you figure it out - therapists are trained to help, and there's nothing wrong with needing help. It could be something deeply repressed.

*hug* so brave of you to share that.

I am sure I repressed something from childhood but I cant remember. i tried... but cant.

anyway.. OP.. I have HUGE mood swings... I wasnt aware of them until I saw photos from some birthday where I am in 5 minutes from extremely happy to moody and looking aside hahaha... they are caused by "nothing"... or hypersensitivity...