Josephine1012 (an ENFP)wrote:

have a question for all of you MBTI type masters: When you are typing others as either ENFP or ESFP how do you make that call?

I've noticed a few threads about ENFP "strange" behavior, when I read them the behavior does indeed seem very strange for ENFP. I realize i have a few biases myself, so perhaps I end up assigning any ENFP gone awry to ESFP category. But what makes you say someone is one vs. the other?

When I think about it, ISFP/INFP maybe creating a similar type of confusion, but I haven't paid enough attention to really stand behind this statement.

Vagrant (an INTJ) wrote:

When you can talk about far out ideas, and they don't get bored, instead coming up with counter ideas.

My ENFP best friend and I bounce ideas off each other all the time. It makes for humorous times.

Just a User (an INTJ)wrote:

I can not really separate the two. Two small differences, and I am not sure if it can help you:

1. Is it possible that an ENFP can be much better at craftsman-like improvision skills ("McGyverism") than an ESFP? I guess it is totally random and that it is moronic to link such skills with cognitive functions but -- just speculating -- could it be that this skill is an "outlet" for Ne? Especially if your ENFP is not much into talking/discussing and more a "down to earth" person.

The ESFPs I know (three) do not seem to have this skill even if they are good at mechanical tasks or technical subjects; they seem to be much more "people" oriented.

2. This one is a totally personal and biased experience. I am apologzing to all the ESFPs and ENFPs that hang out in this thread and forum if I am talking bullshit now:

The ESFPs I know (three family members *sigh*) tend to be very emotionally driven, as you can imagine. However, this is often a very "Diva" - like quality, very "light" and almost playful. They get pissed off easily, but also go back to normal quickly. They behave like actors on a stage.

ENFPs also want to have "their moments" of attention and they will do a lot to have their scene. But they seem to be much more the victims of their emotions than their ESFP counterparts. An ESFP can balance negative "vibes" around him/her with his/her positive attitude.

The ENFPs I know (two) can't. They are like a sponge, sucking up all the emotional matter around them; and if it is contaminated, they seem to be in their own private hell.

dogwoodlover (an INTJ) wrote:

For me, all it takes is asking a few questions and listening to them talk to others.

If I propose some sort of idea I've had, or mention some cool thing I learned in philosophy, an ENFP would either engage me about it or at the very least demonstrate some mild interest out of politeness.

Do the same to an ESFP, and if they even managed to hear you, it will probably take them less than five seconds to brush it off and begin talking about what they did last night. Also, in my experience, if you sit by an ESFP talking with a handful of girls, the conversation will almost instantaneously degenerate into a "gossip-fest" in which everyone within a five mile radius will come under their intense but passing scrutiny in terms of clothes, hair, friendships, what they said while drunk, how much they drank, how little they drank, who they've had sex with in the last two years, etc.

For me, I just tend to instantly detect ESFPs and run away from them. ENFPs, though, for some reason always stand out to me. It's usually never taken me more than one or two interactions to distinguish one.

raz1337 wrote (INTJ) wrote:

SJs set the trends, SPs follow them.

ESFPs just have this...purity to them. It's hard to explain. ESFP girls just have this little sister vibe to them. ENFPs make me feel like they're going to be judging my every move. That's not to say other types don't give me that feeling. Everytime I'm around an ESFJ, I feel like my every move is being judged morally. It's so exhausting.

At work, there's an ENFP and ESFP girl around my age that have become really good friends. They're always talking to each other at work, but I'm always wondering what the ENFP sees in the ESFP. I'm 99% sure of each of their types. They seem to connect on the "I want to have fun" level, but you can tell the ENFP is concerned about larger issues than the ESFP. The ESFP is always talking on the phone with friends, talking about parties she went to, etc. The ENFP told me once when I was talking to her one on one that she has this "ability to feel what other people are feeling."

I find that ENFPs want to connect and know who you are while the ESFPs just want to participate in the social ritual of conversation.

cocoa (INTJ)

I don't think I know many ENFPs but I have been close with an ESFP for a very long time.

They are very involved with people. If they have a problem, everyone needs to hear about it. I mean EVERYONE. If the ESFP likes someone, she tries to befriend the guy's whole family, which sometimes is a problem for the guy when she gets too close to his mom for example.

They party a lot, and make friends like one breathes in air. It's just "easy" for them. They are very surprised if they hear that someone may not make friends easily... like it's an impossible concept to them. They are quite accepting of different friends. My ESFP has tons of different friends, from age group, to sexual identity to anything. You can't walk down the street with her without her bumping into friends.

Strangely enough she does make friends easily but she doesn't consider them close. She therefore has no trouble ending friendships if need be and moving on very fast.

So yes it's true, they are very social people.

I wouldn't say they are evil gossips. I think they are very interested in group interactions tho and people in general.

spy4001 (ENFP)

The ESFPs are more crazy then me. They are more random then me. I had no idea someone could be more random then me. One ESFP girl got so screwed up when partying I made her girlfriend take her home. She was on three or four different drugs. An other ESFP girl I was on a date, almost went streaking on the beach... and she was 30!

I have a long term flirting relationship with an ENFP girl who is out of state. We can talk for hours about random stuff but the subjects can be just as analytical as with a INTJ, but usually less structured. ENFP females also will know alot more about different things.

NFs in general will dress more "artsy" and dress to amplify their emotions. We combine styles and looks. ESFPs will dress more "en vogue" and for shock, beauty value.

ENFPs will be interested in everything, from science to literature to partying.

ESFPs will want to know about details of relationships and would never talk about concepts.

In bed you have to be gentle with ESFP girls. They don’t like to be spanked hard. They don’t like having hands around their throat. I usually tell them they have been “good girls” and make love… lovelingly… at least the first few times. I definitely recommend going slow and gentle for the first time with an ESFP girl… Believe it or not

NF girls can like it rough or whatever.

I actually had this problem too, mistyping one of my friends as an ESFP. When he took an online test, he came out about 97% N, and thinking back on it, I've no idea what I was thinking.

Theoretically, the two should be extremely easy to tell apart. The difference between them is in the dominant function, and it's an extroverted one. How much more "in plain sight" can it be?

I think the best way to tell is to ask "how interrelated do you think things are?" If you get into a car crash and say "damnit.... I really should have been more understanding when talking to my brother, earlier," you're probably an N. Likewise, if you naturally stumble onto INxP types and successfully befriend and integrate them into your other groups of friends, you're probably an N. ENFPs are like a perfect link between INxP types and the rest of the world, but the S types are nearly impossible for us to talk to. On the other hand, conversation comes quite easily with the ENFPs because our Ne - functions supply pretty much limitless ideas for conversation.

These sites may also be useful.

http://www.personalitypathways.com/dom-ne.html -- for ENFP
http://www.personalitypathways.com/dom-se.html -- for ESFP

Yea look at their friends too.

@ENFP Guy: ~~~I find that ENFPs want to connect and know who you are while the ESFPs just want to participate in the social ritual of conversation.~~~

VERY much agree with you here. I have a good friend who is ESFP & she's much more...'shallow' than I am (I'm ENFP). I don't mean that in a bad way. She's just more interested in surface stuff. She doesn't care to REALLY get to *KNOW* people. She just wants people around to talk to & have fun with. Nothing deeper than that for sure.

Posted By Astrocat on 04 Aug 2009 11:14 AM
@ENFP Guy: ~~~I find that ENFPs want to connect and know who you are while the ESFPs just want to participate in the social ritual of conversation.~~~

VERY much agree with you here. I have a good friend who is ESFP & she's much more...'shallow' than I am (I'm ENFP). I don't mean that in a bad way. She's just more interested in surface stuff. She doesn't care to REALLY get to *KNOW* people. She just wants people around to talk to & have fun with. Nothing deeper than that for sure.

Thank you all for this Topic. There are S types in my life that I've judged to be "shallow." I must admit, it's fun to party with ESFP's, but after a while, I'm really yearning for a deeper connection and I get kinda burned out on the non-stop surface stuff. Now I that I have a better understanding, I can relax my judgements, let them be who they are, and get my "depth" fix from other friends.

And with the dress... yea. I'm really attracted to en Vogue girls who wear designer labels, but then the expressive (clean) bohemian types with the long flowy skirts... oh man they drive me bonkers.

In general I find it very easy to see the difference between S's and N's in general. I naturally avoid any S type. I generally don't spend much time around people, so the ones I enjoy giving my time to damn well better be interesting people. :p

You can all take that as an indirect compliment; I find you interesting or I wouldn't be here. But, ENFPs, while a bit huggy, are still chock full of great ideas. ESFPs, however, can connect with me about as well as I could speak to say, a fish. They are as deep as a puddle; the only thing I could possibly learn from them would be parts of myself, via my reflection. Ah well. We can't all be Ns.

That's not really fair. It's not that ESFPs are shallow...they just live so completely in the moment that it's perplexing. Imagine all the energy we as ENFPs apply to everything - our interests, our dreams, our goals, our friends - being narrowed into an intense focus on NOW. That is, in essence, what makes an ESFP different. Life is meant to be *lived* with full force, consequences be damned! It's a party because they see no need to be serious - you never know if you'll have tomorrow, so do everything you want to now. They see life as one shot - so it needs to be lived to the fullest.

We connect with them for their enthusiasm and real, genuine desire to make everyone around them happy. We reject them because, unlike us, their attention doesn't last. They may fall deeply, madly in love and sincerely have commitment in mind....today. You just can't have any expectations with an ESFP. Like ENFPs, they have to feel free....but they don't require the constant reassurance we do. There's really no way to hold onto an S once they have the itch to move on.

You can all take that as an indirect compliment; I find you interesting or I wouldn't be here. But, ENFPs, while a bit huggy, are still chock full of great ideas. ESFPs, however, can connect with me about as well as I could speak to say, a fish. They are as deep as a puddle; the only thing I could possibly learn from them would be parts of myself, via my reflection. Ah well. We can't all be Ns.

I have two ESFP guy friends and they are like my platonic girlfriends but I can talk a little bit of business with them. We swap shopping ideas, talk about fashion, cars, real-estate, girls, music. Its like hanging out with a smart 15 year-old. Its ok in doses.

I have one ESFP friend who is a stock broker. He must be the worst on the planet when I was 24yr I was made his supervisor. He was 44 at the time. He is always so sweet and nice and positive. He attracts S girls like a cat to katnip. And is great to hang out with in small doses.

Its so funny he used to tell me saul.. buy KO Put your clients all in KO, its always been there and warren buffet likes it. Ofcourse KO hasn't done anything for 20 years.

Imagine all the energy we as ENFPs apply to everything - our interests, our dreams, our goals, our friends - being narrowed into an intense focus on NOW. That is, in essence, what makes an ESFP different. Life is meant to be *lived* with full force, consequences be damned!

brilliant! (and hysterical) Do you mind if I save this for use in the ESFP segment of the wiki, whenever I get there? I'm sure I can find a way to fit it in somehow.

The thing is, Aly, That would be how I define shallow. I should also clarfiy; This is how I find most ESFPs, I 'm sure there are smart ones worth my time, but in general, I avoid them. They drain my energy, and disappear.

Sure thing crypt. ^_^

>.> I think the ultimate ESFP was Casanova. Dude did nothing but live from experience to experience, burning bridges as he went until he was pretty much exiled from all of Europe. He only sat down and wrote his biography when he had nothing else left to do - he was under house arrest and no one ever visited him anymore. He never regretted anything he did, was just amused by himself. He may have missed out on his true love, but he couldn't deny squeezing every last drop out of life that he could.

I can't say I'm too keen about that kind of life...even if living a life without regret and never missing an opportunity sounds great on the surface... It's more difficult for an N to understand - S's see the trees...Ns see the forest. We Ns see the big, hungry panther lurking in the shadows up ahead....and the ESFP just sees that awesome branch they could grab onto and wonder if they could swing from tree to tree. Ns just watch in horror, waiting for the branch to snap over the hungry animal below... And ESFPs...well, they figure it's just as likely for the tree to fall over on the Ns.

S types are just so easy to take apart. Because, well, there isn't anything there. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but the idea and the reality bore me quickly. N types are so much more interesting, because you can keep finding new facets years after you meet them. S types wear everything they are on their sleeve.