I've recently become obsessed with MBTI.  In order to better understand the people I live and work with, I've encouraged most of my friends and work mates to take the test and report back.  I've learned a couple of things!

1.  Most people I know don't know much about MBTI.  If they took the test a long time ago, they don't remember what it said.

2.  Most people I know don't care about personality typing or theory at all, or nearly as much as I do.

3.  This one is the Biggie...  ALMOST EVERYONE I LIVE OR WORK WITH IS AN xSxJ.  Yikes!!!!

4.  I only know one confirmed ENFP other than myself.  I feel like I live on an island.

So, here's the question to all of you.  How do you deal with being so different than everyone else?  Should I find a new job, new friends, seek out other ENFPs?

Just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with.  My wife is ISFJ, daughter ESFJ, supervisor ESFJ, boss ESFJ, work mates ISTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ and the list goes on and on.

HELP!!!!

datbrown

 

 

*throws you bright orange life preserver*

As far as jobs go, if you don't like it, find something else. But don't completely abandon it until you have a back-up plan. What do you work as?

xSxJ's are nice in their own way, I suppose...*insert image of grizzly bear here* If you feel stifled in your friendships, I'd definitely encourage you to seek more. After all, an ENFP with a lot of friends is nothing if his friends don't really understand him. You've taken a big step in joining this forum. Welcome.

Now, post an introduction and I'll be sure to shower you with random questions.

Thank you so much for the life preserver...

Sorry about not posting an introduction yet.

I want to write one, what should it include?

datbrown

Hmm. Offerings of chocolate and maybe a random article? Do whatever you want. The crazier, the more we'll appreciate it. Also, the more simpler, the more we'll also appreciate it.

-hug- Also remember, a gaggle of ENFPs, awesome as we are, can start to get a little crazy....especially for someone used to SJ interactions. O.O Abrupt changes in conversation topic, energy level escalating volume, inexplicable clumsiness, and endless suggestions for spontaneous activities. Trust me, your family and coworkers are glad you're the only ENFP they know >.> Hehehehe.

First you need to write up a few threads on being married to an ISFJ.

I think the only S i could be married to is the ISFJ. AND i think the only ISFJs females can more easily put up with ENFP males. I know two ENFP-ISFJ couples and they seem to get a long quite well.


Ways to hang around Ns

1. Networking events about what you like
2. go to meetup.com
3. google professional meetings "your crity"
4. take classes at local universities.
5. join political events. there are lots of Ss there but lots of Ns too. You really want to meet Ns go to www.lp.org
Stay with your job.



tak

Okay... Introductions...

I am a 30someting male ENFP.  I am a professional musician.  I am recently obsessing over MBTI and all things related.  I live the Washington DC area.  My days are never the same, thank god.  I've never worked in a traditional office setting or cubicle.  Not sure I could.  I love making up recipes with whatever is in the cupboard.  I love trivia and cooking shows.  I have 2 cats.  Most of all, my life is quite different as an adult since I grew up with an immediate family full of xNTx's and now I'm surrounded by xSxJ's   I am currently reading 3 books about MBTI, one on reading body language, and one on reading people written by a famous jury canvassing professional.  I love to let my mind wander when I lay down in bed at night, dreaming up the most wonderful ideas and stories.  I will watch any show about the Vietnam war because I still can't believe what a mess it was.  The best kind of ideas are the new kind.  Most of all I'm a bit lonely without other ENFPs which is what drove me here!

That's it for now.

datbrown

Thanks for the pointers on Ns...

Regarding being married to an ISFJ. First let me tell you that we have been married 17 years and in that time I have learned quite a lot about the ENFP-ISFJ interaction.

1.  It ain't easy.  There will be run-ins.  Some of them can be big ones.  Then both of us have a tendency to "sweep" things under the proverbial rug.  Not good.

2.  Because we are both xxFx's, neither of us can stand a lot of tension in the relationship, so eventually one or both of us will come with apologies and candy, and a card, etc....  and we will make up.

3.  This CAN be quite a well developed complementary team.  We have been able to work together on a few projects with great success.  I add the creativity and big picture ideas, she makes it all a reality. 

4.  Some of the differences just need to be understood.  I am looking for a "soulmate," but she wants a "helpmate."  I feel love through connections, she feels love through actions.  If I make extra coffee, that tells her I love her.  I don't think I would automatically see extra coffee in the pot as a sign of love.  But for her, that's all she needs.  You know, take out the trash, fix the car...all the really practical things.  Me, I easily miss that as being the best sign of love, but I have learned that she needs that in order to feel loved. 

5.    She values security.  I value ideas.  I like surprises, she doesn't.  Simple but important

6.  Okay last one, I promise.  EVERY relationship on the planet earth contains differences.  It's not what's different that will drive you apart, it's how well you can deal with the differences.  Show me 2 people who are 99% alike, and I will show you how the 1% that is different can drive them apart.  The neat thing is that the differences can be quite helpful in giving you perspective on your life.

If you made it all the way to the end of this novel, I will have a treat for you later.  Also, you get an "A" in my book.

datbrown

4.  Some of the differences just need to be understood.  I am looking for a "soulmate," but she wants a "helpmate."  I feel love through connections, she feels love through actions.  If I make extra coffee, that tells her I love her.  I don't think I would automatically see extra coffee in the pot as a sign of love.  But for her, that's all she needs.  You know, take out the trash, fix the car...all the really practical things.  Me, I easily miss that as being the best sign of love, but I have learned that she needs that in order to feel loved. 

Ok wow. very profound.

INTJs what are you looking for?

Posted By datbrown on 02 Mar 2010 10:16 AM

I've recently become obsessed with MBTI.  In order to better understand the people I live and work with, I've encouraged most of my friends and work mates dato take the test and report back.  I've learned a couple of things!

1.  Most people I know don't know much about MBTI.  If they took the test a long time ago, they don't remember what it said.

2.  Most people I know don't care about personality typing or theory at all, or nearly as much as I do.

3.  This one is the Biggie...  ALMOST EVERYONE I LIVE OR WORK WITH IS AN xSxJ.  Yikes!!!!

4.  I only know one confirmed ENFP other than myself.  I feel like I live on an island.

So, here's the question to all of you.  How do you deal with being so different than everyone else?  Should I find a new job, new friends, seek out other ENFPs?

Just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with.  My wife is ISFJ, daughter ESFJ, supervisor ESFJ, boss ESFJ, work mates ISTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ and the list goes on and on.

HELP!!!!

datbrown

 

 

damn. i feel for you.

 

i started meeting new N friends lately. it's actually more simple than i thought. net is good start if you dont already know someone who will connect you to Ns...

you just need to define what u want. meaning, dont be too unselfish and think that choosing friends based on (among other things) MBTI is snobbish. it's not.

these days i talk a lot to enfp, intj, enfj, and it's so much pleasant... i feel more normal and all.. i missed that seriously

 

 

Posted By datbrown on 02 Mar 2010 05:24 PM

 

4.  Some of the differences just need to be understood.  I am looking for a "soulmate," but she wants a "helpmate."  I feel love through connections, she feels love through actions.  If I make extra coffee, that tells her I love her.  I don't think I would automatically see extra coffee in the pot as a sign of love.  But for her, that's all she needs.  You know, take out the trash, fix the car...all the really practical things.  Me, I easily miss that as being the best sign of love, but I have learned that she needs that in order to feel loved. 

 

OH this sounds so familiar... i had this problem with ISTJs... I need to feel loved -soulmate - before I can do something physical for them. message is important.

 

Ok wow. very profound.

INTJs what are you looking for?

Quoting directly from ''Please Understand me II''
 

Artisian - Playmate     (_S_P)

Guardian - Helpmate   (_S_J)

Idealist - Soulmate   (_NF_)

Rational - Mindmate   (_NT_)

If you want some further info on a specific subject, tell me, i got the book right here.

lol i must be a ExFP... i want a soulmate and a playmate... maybe i would even be more satisfied with a playmate... I read ESFPs typing as ENFPs is not that uncomommon...

NFs are more concerned with harmony and everyone having a say.
SPs are more concerned with freedom and being taken seriously.

In a conflict situation, an ENFP would be more likely to hear everyone's say and find the best solution for everyone. ESFPs prefer not to address the problem, and will instead try to make everything light-hearted. It was one of the reasons me and my ESFP bf broke up....I vent all my problems because talking makes me feel better, but it made him uncomfortable to have unpleasantness......and he'd stop talking to me if I asked him too much about his issues.

If harmony can't be achieved, then i'll take freedom instead. But harmony would be much much nicer. And i think it is better to get the unpleasant thoughts out of you instead of bottling them up in yourself.

If harmony can't be achieved, then i'll take freedom instead. But harmony would be much much nicer. And i think it is better to get the unpleasant thoughts out of you instead of bottling them up in yourself.

As you mature you'll learn how to accept, handle and work through confrontation. I couldn't do it until I was 26.

>.> I'm 26 and I *still* can't step back and take criticism for what it's worth. It makes me cry. I have to go outside or someplace alone (because I can't stand to let people see me cry) and throw myself a mini pity party, then I get angry for letting someone make me cry. I'll usually feel better once I have a good vent with a sympathetic friend who just agrees with me that the other person was mean and doesn't try to offer me advice until after the mood has passed. The last thing you want to do is tell a girl in the midst of an unpleasant mood that she's acting like a child; she already knows, and it will only make the mood worse.

Posted By datbrown on 02 Mar 2010 10:16 AM

I've recently become obsessed with MBTI.  In order to better understand the people I live and work with, I've encouraged most of my friends and work mates to take the test and report back.  I've learned a couple of things!

1.  Most people I know don't know much about MBTI.  If they took the test a long time ago, they don't remember what it said.

2.  Most people I know don't care about personality typing or theory at all, or nearly as much as I do.

3.  This one is the Biggie...  ALMOST EVERYONE I LIVE OR WORK WITH IS AN xSxJ.  Yikes!!!!

4.  I only know one confirmed ENFP other than myself.  I feel like I live on an island.

So, here's the question to all of you.  How do you deal with being so different than everyone else?  Should I find a new job, new friends, seek out other ENFPs?

Just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with.  My wife is ISFJ, daughter ESFJ, supervisor ESFJ, boss ESFJ, work mates ISTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ and the list goes on and on.

HELP!!!!

datbrown

 

 

YES. I signed up here pretty much for the same reason - surrounded by S's. Luckily, I was in a place in my life where I could switch my job/career path. I would assume it's harder with a family.

But for more immediate purposes, I just sent out the fb version of the test to more people, some who I've lost touch with and are just acquaintances now, and found that I do know more N's, I just didn't know because they were I's as well or live kind of far away. So a visit might not be as often, but in reconnecting with a few, it's been great to at least feel like more people 'get me'.

Is this an ENFP trait - being able to pick up after years as if little time had passed? I actually really like this...