All right, rules.... just state a pun.  Oh come on, we all seem to weirdly like 'em!

I'll start:

What has four wheels and flies?

 

 

 

 

 

A garbage truck.

Whats black and blue and doesn't mind sex?





The dead girl in my trunk.
(morbid, I know)

^ Hrm. I dunno if that counts as a pun...xD But thank you very much, Rogarn.

Taken from a chat with a friend:

Arvind: check out them crooked vultures!
its a band
me: Did they write the song, 'Carrion My Wayward Son'?

He didn't get it. >.>

I told my sister about it later and she was like, "What's a pun?" We were eating salad, so I looked down, picked up my fork, and went, "A pun is like...lettuce eat."

True story.

Ooh, ooh! Found another one.

me: My mother is making steamed meat buns.
O.o
Parker: ...I'll steam your meat buns.
me:
xD
Nathan: Unless your dad asks. In that case, I'm a vegetarian.

^ Okay, that's not really punny, but I find it amusing nonetheless.

From an Internet rhyming session with my friend:

Andrew: This rhyming game's been reduced to puns? What is this, this is no fun. >.>
me: Puns are fun, don't you deny it. Otherwise I'll be forced to try it.
Andrew: Puns aren't what puts me in a hearse. Though puns are bad, poetry's verse.

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

^ Ahahaha. I just received another one from a friend.

"My neighbor dug a hole in my yard and filled it with water.

I thought he meant well."

^^Haha! These are some awesome puns. I couldn't help but smile/laugh throughout all of them.

I heard this one recently:

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

And here you go, Sakari, one for you:

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

Bahahaha. That reminds me of another George Carlin quote.

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."

I totally just StumbleUponed this website, too...xD http://www.whimsy.org.uk/commonsense.html

[during critique]
Sarah: The journey of pregnancy has a lot of kicks...
[Hannah throws hand sanitizer at her]
me: Are you pun-ishing her, Hannah?
Hannah: *points at me* You're next.

We were also critiquing a story about a road trip in which the driver ran over someone, so I started it out with, "So this story's about a killer road trip." Everybody groaned. xD

Also, this really isn't a pun, but I find it funny.

Nursen: ~It's the climb...~
me: No it isn't, we just took the elevator.

The other day:

Chad: Whenever I'm watching The Lord of the Rings and I get to a really good part, I stand up and shout "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"

Old chemists never died, they just fail to react.

When you are in karate lesson and everyone is training....

It is called the punchline.


When i finally get my webcam online again, i am going to show you King Circlon (who rules btw!) making a lot of puns...^^ (He is a big blot made out of color splats - and he was born in a one pen art attack. Given scepter and a crown as his own hat - never meant to be a king he didn't give a crap^^ I also made a song about him that starts with the aforementioned lines - i think i then have to add it too^^)

Also, whenever i sew this topic i read "Fun Factory"
Hm. The word pun... lead me to "piece of pun-cake"... which lead me to "pun-cakes". I think i am going to make said puncakes today to eat.

Confucius says: Man who run in front of car get's tired..
Confucius says: Man who run behind car get's exhausted..
Confucius says: Man who is standing on a toilet is high on pot..
Confucius says: Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache..

Also, whenever i sew this topic i read "Fun Factory"

...This might or might not have been intentional.

What's in a honeymoon sandwich?

Lettuce alone.

An aciddent is what happens when you eat sweets and don't brush your teeth afterwards.

^

||

My attempts at being sarcastic.

 

 

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Sick! Twisted! And made the water I was drinking shoot out of my nose!

^^ This one is hilarious!! And it was made even better that it made Lauren shoot water ouf of her nose! Hehe

I really like puns. However, often without dialog from another person it turns out to be a tad corny. For example:

Q: How do you get a hanky to dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

Now, I enjoy this much more:

Her: What do you think of nerds? I think they're sexy!
Me: Oh, I don't know about that. I like the strawberry better than the grape though.