I have made a thread a while back dealing with feelings for another. I am over that or at least the worst of it. I have soulsearched quite a bit over the past few weeks and I have come to the conclusion that I really want someone that can accept me for who I am. I on the other hand feel that I am a fairly good person and am able to accept myself now (though before I was struggling). The one thing that most people can't seem to get past about me is my attitude towards "gender roles." I consider myself gender neutral where I really can't relate to either but rather I feel I am in a sense both. Most people (even my closest friends) find this to an extent unaccepting and I fail to see why does society overall care so much? You see T.V shows for example and the media showing us how its "supposed" to be. Even when women have jobs, pay tends to be lower which in this economy may make even the working woman end up as a housewife after she marries. I know its impossible to convince society and my friends to think the way I do but I really wish I knew why do people buy into it? 

I completely agree and relate. Gender roles are limiting and untrue constructions. People like them because breaking from tradition is scary and it's a good deal if you are a man.

 And women still wonder where all the good men have gone

You can check it out for yourself. The disambiguation are all episodes of tv shows or the names of soundtracks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabula_rasa

Tabula rasa is the epistemological theory that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that their knowledge comes from experience and perception. Generally proponents of the tabula rasa thesis favour the "nurture" side of the nature versus nurture debate, when it comes to aspects of one's personality, social and emotional behaviour, and intelligence. The term in Latin equates to the English "blank slate" (or more accurately, "erased slate") (which refers to writing on a slate sheet in chalk) but comes from the Roman tabula or wax tablet, used for notes, which was blanked by heating the wax and then smoothing it to give a tabula rasa.

You can't expect people to keep that empty context (unless they have severe mental handicaps). We're all walking around with Implicit Association, that is, an immediate, unconscious reaction to everything we observe....especially people. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/research/ <---this is a pretty interesting set of tests that harvard puts out to research implicit association. Having experience with a certain group can cause certain biases....but having no interaction with said group can create just as many biases. For example, a person who has never interacted with little children before and has no preconceptions may still be alarmed and react negatively upon first seeing a group of hyperactive rugrats running around screaming their heads off.

But back to gender....because you *really* have to be sheltered to have no knowledge or interaction with the opposite sex. Let's put this into a different perspective here. Two people apply for a job...I'll put pictures below to emphasize. Neither has any experience in the field they are applying for (beyond necessary college courses), but they are the only applicants. Both are physically fit and equally intelligent and capable.

1. The job is in a doctor's clinic and primarily deals with giving prostate exams
2. The job is a bridal shop helping women try on dresses

Is it sexist if the woman doesn't get the clinic job? Is it sexist if the man doesn't get the bridal shop job? Is it sexist for a bride to not want a male employee to help her in the fitting room? Is it sexist for a man to be uncomfortable with a woman performing a prostate exam on him? If the woman was pregnant, would it be sexist for her to be denied to volunteer at a cat shelter? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis#Pregnancy_precautions)

Posted By alysaria on 28 Oct 2011 11:35 AM
I'm trying to make the point that sexism and inequality aren't the same thing, and inequality isn't always bad. Having the ability to do the same thing as someone of the opposite gender does not make it prudent.

I never said it was a "bad" thing. I can try and live with it. Though I am not really talking about the topic in a "broad" sense, I just brought that up to demonstrate an example that relates to what I am going through without getting too personal since I am not big on sharing a real example of what I experienced. Now in terms of the ones I consider "friends" who do not "accept" me for being gender neutral, do I just deal with that? :/

The media's only purpose is to make money, Sharon. They don't care one way or the other how someone is portrayed as long as it's marketable....and it's safer to go with what's worked before. Most networks don't take risks.

Also: http://www.time.com/time/business/a...74,00.html

Now in terms of the ones I consider "friends" who do not "accept" me for being gender neutral, do I just deal with that? :/

Posted By alysaria on 28 Oct 2011 11:41 AM

The media's only purpose is to make money, Sharon. They don't care one way or the other how someone is portrayed as long as it's marketable....and it's safer to go with what's worked before. Most networks don't take risks.

Also: http://www.time.com/time/business/a...74,00.html

I take that as a yes to my question, thanks. 

Posted By alysaria on 28 Oct 2011 11:43 AM

Now in terms of the ones I consider "friends" who do not "accept" me for being gender neutral, do I just deal with that? :/

I guess I don't understand how it is they aren't accepting you. Do they tell you to be more girly or something?

As I said, I don't want to share personal examples. As for the "confusion" I don't get really but also why I brought up the PM idea since that would be a bit conveniant (a bit off topic). Just say that you spend years getting to know someone since childhood and then when you hit puberty and you notice that you can't relate to the "norm" or to anyone, the one you knew treats you differently because no matter what you can't just "change" yourself nor see a reason to and the same for them where you don't wish for them to "change" but you just long to be accepted again...