Posted By alysaria on 28 Oct 2011 12:10 PM
Yea...PMs would definitely help. The confusion is just that I'd finish typing a post only to find that you'd replied to my first post and hadn't seen my second post, so I'd be replying to your previous post after you already replied to my previous post. >.>

I kind of get it... I'm guessing this is someone you really care about and it bothers you that you can't relate to them the same way you used to? Regardless of gender identity, this happens about that time. Middle school is that awkward stage where everyone is trying to figure out who they are. Even the ones that seem sure are not. People flock to groups that represent them....and the members adapt to each other to form a single identity....and you get a clique. Sometimes childhood friends just don't fit into the same clique.... My childhood best friend ended up being one of the popular "bad" girls; she smoked, she slept around, and she had a baby at 16. I was not part of that clique, even though she really wanted me to still relate to her and tried to drag me in a few times. It just didn't work out anymore. We stayed friends, but not really close friends.

I meant to respond but had connection issue, my response is that your answer to my question to deal with it is yes since it happens to people and I am not "special" in that sense. Thanks.

@Nadette and Alysaria. If we go with Wikipedia then yes, "tabula rasa" just applies to the idea that individuals are born without built-in mental content (or what I personally would call "consciousness") but if we go with general layman's usage then I've heard it used as Nadette wanted to use it. It's original usage vs. societal modification of the denotation. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tabula%20rasa

The Cinderella Effect. Blah. I guess I'm just wondering if it's really equality if the "traditional gender roles" become the taboo and a couple who chooses the designation would be treated like a disgusting backwards pair, bent on destroying years of work in the feminist movement.

And I'm sorry to hear that Sharon.  

Posted By alysaria on 29 Oct 2011 08:30 AM

The Cinderella Effect. Blah. I guess I'm just wondering if it's really equality if the "traditional gender roles" become the taboo and a couple who chooses the designation would be treated like a disgusting backwards pair, bent on destroying years of work in the feminist movement.

 

And I'm sorry to hear that Sharon.  

Your concern is noted. I know I used the term "friends" which indicated more than one but the people I were referring to were more or less "acquintances" to me, people I like to spend time with but not the type that I open up to very much. The friend I mentioned to you earlier however, the one I knew since childhood. That is the friend who basically had enough of me. To be honest, I suppose I am not exactly a good "friend" in return to them. I try to mean well but apparantly the way I talk to them or in their opinion treat them is too mean. Though that is not my intention whereas I see myself more or less blunt towards them. So after a heated argument they just ended it saying that they can't take being my friend anymore and I didn't feel up to pushing the subject so I just said that its fine so yeah. Now, is it weird to not feel much "guilt" about this? I feel a bit bad but now its not something I feel I should concern myself with such as talk to them and try to "make up" with them and become friends with them again. Is that rather normal?

Posted By alysaria on 29 Oct 2011 08:54 AM
Here's the thing....I would guess that your "friend" is probably a very strong feeler who got hit with a dumptruck full of hormones after hitting puberty. That makes a very volatile, emotional mess....and young feelers want sympathy gushy feely emotions. The bluntness of strong thinkers just comes across as unfeeling and uncaring (especially from another female) because they don't want a logical, rational response to their HUGE problems. I know you don't mean to come across that way...and it's possible you can make up with her (those same gushy feely emotions work both ways), but it will likely be a back and forth until halfway through high school.... Normal is not something easily defined, but it's something that cliques cling to in order to reject people who don't fit into *their* idea of normalcy. It sucks, but that's school.

I guess so? They got a score of ENTP which I think one of the main cognitive functions was Fe so I think they would "feel" more than I but when I talk to them they do base their arguments and talk on a more rational level. I think at times that one of the main issues we had was the clash between E and I where I scored 94% "Introvert" where they scored the same but only as Extravert and I did read up that extremes tend to clash since the extravert loves closeness more and the introvert likes to be alone more. I personally thought that it fits us very well and explained why we had arguments and these "clashes" so it really never seemed like a big deal to me. Well now I see where that got me. In either case, they are not a big "feeler" but I think they "feel" more than me is all.