I am so sick of people everyone is fucking superficial. They pretend to like me when i talk to them. But do they want to talk to me in return? Do they call me? No it is always me who is doing the work. I am sick of it. I have never experienced someone beginning to talk to me in my life out of the blue just for connection. With my friends, it had to always be me forming the connection. I must call them. I never get called, except for stuff like... "We have a band meeting tomorrow". Why don't i get invited, and when i get invited, i just get invited to stuff like parties - hey all i want is talk or play some games together or stuff, i don't want to get drunk or see my friends drunk. I think they just don't want me as a friend or something. Otherwise they would want to form connections too.

I'd like to be friends with everyone. I cannot understand how someone else could feel different.

Another thing that really gets to my nerves. Is when i deliberately place myself besides others in trains... it usually goes like this:

"Hello, is this place free?"

No response. They just makes space for me. (WHY CAN'T THEY TALK?)

"Where are you going to?"/"What is this about what you are reading?"/"Is this for university?"

Either there is no response - which makes me really sad. I mean, i just tried to make a conversation, and they just don't want to talk with me.

Or there is a response like: "Yes, No" Stuff like that. So if i want to get the converstion going, i have to ask further...

"What are you studying?" for example. I really have to ask and ask and ask again to get ANY kind of conversation. But sadly, this is not what i call a real conversation. In a real conversation, both people are contributing and trying to keep it alive. Again, it is always me who has to do the "work" alone and get the conversation started. 

Once the person beside did not even tell me to stand up becaue they wanted to leave the train. This makes me sad. Why don't people talk to me?

I like myself and i know i am likeable, but somehow others seem to dislike me. I don't know. It just all feels so damn superficial to me how they interact with me. Like they do no t really want to but have to.

Hm. No i don't want to think like that. I want to think differently. I want to think that because noone has truly ever showed unfriendlyness towards me, they must like me.

Sometimes i think the only real thing we ENFPs must do to get over a problem is voicing it. Somehow voicing the problem makes me come up with a solution, while if i don't voice the problem... i don't come up with a solution. Weird, but this is how it works for me...

Ok solution was this:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-squash-negative-thought-patterns/

Bottom problem of my "I am so sick of people" was that i thought "there must be a problem with me -> i am uncharismatic".
With the method in the link above (It really worked)... i now switch to "i am charismatic" whenever i think "i am uncharismatic->i am charismatic"

Sometimes i think the only real thing we ENFPs must do to get over a problem is voicing it. Somehow voicing the problem makes me come up with a solution, while if i don't voice the problem... i don't come up with a solution. Weird, but this is how it works for me...

Me too. I often answer my own questions once I voice/type them.

As far as people not talking on the train, I think people are just uncomfortable with that in general. I wouldn't take it personally. People like to be anonymous on public transit.

As far as feeling like you are the one that has to go about making connections and doing all the work in your friendships, I totally relate, but I think this is partially due to our personality being a more proactive personality. Also, we really crave real social connection more than most people. I've just come to accept this. Sometimes it just takes time to find relationships that can be meaningful. Most people aren't as open as we are initially, but if we go ahead and make a point of hanging out with people and pursuing meaningful conversation, I've found that some (def not all) rise to the occassion and seem to really appreciate that I initiated more meaningful conversation. Don't feel sad that you have to be the initiator. ENFPs just have a lot more drive for this than most people. It is kind of our job to form those connections, I think. It is what we are good at. We are the type to seek out the quiet, off-by-themself types at parties. Ooh, that's another thing I learned. Introverts tend to be more fun to talk too even though they sometimes look deceptively boring. Anyways, don't despair. There are people that you can relate to in the world. They are probably just a minority.

Interesting read. Have it ever occurred to you to think that this is how some powerful people want it to be? I mean think about those billionaires. They have alot of control over their own lives. Have it ever occurred to you to think that they might even try to control the lives of others? Oh how about millions of others? How about billions? How about all of them? You think this is far from the truth? In fact, truth is more wicked than anything Hollywood has ever produced. So what I'm basically saying is that people like you simply reject the programming that somebody wants you to have. I'm sure you are not alone in this. But people like you are in minority out there. Also think about the concept of social engineering. Do you really think those who figure out that this social engineering could be used to increase profits at the expense of mental health of people would not try to do it anyway? And you think government is out there to stop you? Have it ever occurred to you to think that government might be bought and sold to close their eyes to this? I mean, if you put all the possibilities in the table, you get such a horrible image that if someone outside of the system would ever watch what we are doing, they would never spend a second of their lives living like us? Have it ever occurred to you that government itself might want you in a numb state like you are right now for their own purposes? We are not living in good times. That's for certain.

 

Just look at the mega corporations making huge profits while world burns. Do you really think they would care about your mental health, or even your actual health to stop themselves from making profits. Just look at what they do with the world and apply that same thinking to what they can do to your mind once they have methods of altering it. And you think they can't alter it? Just look at the history of brainwashing. Or Manchurian candidate. They managed to completely reprogram the consciense of the human being to do absolutely what they want and still remember nothing of what they did to him. And even what this person himself did to others. They will remember nothing. Such technologies do exist. And they will not stop using it on you, me, or anyone else if it helps in progressing their agenda. And I can surely assure you they do use it on people.

 

Look at 9/11. It's was clearly an inside job. Where are the people to speak up and protest this false flag attack. Look at Iraq attack. Complete lies. And where is repercussion on this? Millions of people died resulting in wars following 9/11. Where is repercussion on that? You think once they done this to Iraqis, they can't do this to their own people? Do you think there is a difference between Iraqi and American? Do you think they care about your life as far as their agenda is concerned? Do you think they value life? You think your life more worth than those who died under illegal wars? I mean if your life is so worthless, why shouldn't your mind be spared?

 

All in all, we live in artificially created civilization now. And it's failing. Because it is unsustainable. And people rejecting it. Our psyches were formed for 40 000 years. You think we didn't see tyrants before? You think if they had a chance to win with their tricks, they couldn't win by now? Of course no. We are too adapting. No social engineering were able to break that up. And we are adapting too quickly to their manipulations. In fact, they are in big trouble. Because people starting to realize who is behind the scene playing with strings.

I was going to say "get over yourself", but you know what?

You're right.

The best solution I can think of, is to go and DO something interesting. People will follow you, if thats what you want.

Venting is the best solution for an ENFP's problems. Introverted feeling isn't always aware of what a problem is....it just recognizes that there is one, so talking it through allows extroverted thinking to pick through the information analytically and extroverted intuition to try to make connections until introverted feeling pipes up to indicate that it is in fact the issue.

I think what this comes down to is that the majority of people can only really relate superficially in the first place, especially in situations where people are just focused on their tasks/schedules and conversation is more difficult. I often have to remind myself that even though I prefer deep connections, they are much rarer and almost never start off deep. I've had the most success getting around this by involving myself in things where it's understood that people will be going there to meet new people and form connections. Anything that happens after that is like a continuation of the purpose behind the first meeting, and in time a new bond forms.

Thank you for your input.

Please be easy on yourself, since you live in a very NT country (Germany). My INTP daughter spent a year near Frankfurt and found it bliss that she didn't have to speak to anyone, even though she was there to learn the language. Isn't that funny? Go to another country to immerse in the language and then find yourself in the midst of people who don't like to talk with strangers, but feel peaceful about that. People are funny.
Even so, I agree with your sentiments. I too am very tired of having to deal with people for lots or reasons. Yes, I've cried because I'm the only person who ever makes phone calls. At the same time, I know that if it's important to me, then I am the one who has to make it happen. And so I keep making the effort.

My INTP daughter spent a year near Frankfurt and found it bliss that she didn't have to speak to anyone, even though she was there to learn the language.

Lol.

I am living near Frankfurt too... where did your daughter go to exactly?

My daughter went to Heidelberg, but spent lots of her weekends at our friend's house near Darmstadt.