Do you guys think they are perfect for us? Assuming both are healthy do we get a long just fine? Do we run into problems.. I'm talking work, friendship, and love.

Writen by McbBeth

I think ENFP's like us because we keep them on their toes. Also, I think the INTJ complexity is part of it. I get the impression that ENFP's like to dig into a person the way a child likes to open presents on Christmas morning. Most people you meet, you'll open the box and pull out the toy and play with it for a while and get bored.

But when the wrapped gift box is signed "From: INTJ", it's different. The ENFP opens the box and pull out the toy and play with it just like they normally would. Then the ENFP looks in the box again and finds another toy. So the ENFP plays with both toys.

Then the ENFP looks in the box again and find a third toy. When the three toys are in front of the ENFP she notices that they all work together somehow to make a new toy together (like Voltron). This amazes and delights the ENFP, she's never seen toys like this! So the ENFP peeks in the box again to find yet another toy. Time and again the more toys come out of the box and the new toys fit in with the old toys in surprising ways that makes the old ones exciting again. etc, etc.

Is that about right?

I agree with sbalbom. >.> There's something so intriguing and fun about learning things, especially about people...and INTJs always have something new to offer. Plus, they're one of the only types that can see right through us. >< It's frustrating and refreshing at the same time.
I have an INTJ as one of my close friends...and if you get to be really close with them (to the point where they actually initiate conversation/physical contact), the friendship becomes like a playful war. I think they appreciate that we can put up a good fight and even win a few battles (not that they'd admit it).
-shrug- It's strange...but in spite of our differences...and the fact that certain aspects of ENFP/INTJ personalities should put each other off....we can admire each other. Let's face it, a completely reclusive person silently ignoring you or worse, nodding vacantly as they don't listen to us is just as annoying as an overly talkative, gossipy, compliment whore is to them Balance and maturity are key.

hehe

I really appreciate the ENFPs' way of making INTJs seem a bit more sane to me. I got along reeally well with INTJs until we hit high school, and then the Ne/Te difference reared its ugly head. However, some of the things that I found obnoxious in some INTJs my ENFP friend softened out and made reasonable to me. For instance, we had this one physics TA who could be kind of mean, sometimes. He didn't really mean to be all that much, but all of his jokes were filled with juuust a little too much contempt for my tastes, and he would get sucked into that one-up-man-ship mentality that irritates the hell out of me.

He was a decent TA, and he was a really smart guy, but I never quite saw eye to eye with him because of the way he would tease some people (not me or anything--so it's not personal or anything--but I watch how people treat third parties all the time). It bugged me until the ENFP pointed out that it's probably because he was uncomfortable around people, but made a sarcastic, slightly mean joke a few times when he was younger, and saw that it made everyone laugh... so he kept it up, until it became his sense of humor.

INTPs (or at least I) am pretty terrible with understanding people, so a possibility like that never really entered my mind. When he explained it to me, though, his comments stopped grating against my nerves immediately.

So I do think there's definitely some benefits for them, too. At least for your parts, you can soften their attitude and provide reasonable explanations for how they act the way they do... translating from Binary to English for the rest of us . I'd be interested to hear what some of the INTJs around here think that they get out of ENFPs too, though.

It's funny you should mention that, crypt >.> I made a bunch of my friends take the mbti test and a couple of them (who are married) are an INTJ and an INFJ. I've been over at their place at the beginning of what promised to be a massive blowout fight...the NT was getting annoyed because the NF was making decisions without his input - she just wanted to help him out. In his anger, the NT said something that came out very, very mean and personal, and utterly crushed the NF. She sent me a text message - telling me how upset she was (I think INFJs more than any other type have a need to immediately tell people RIGHT NOW when something bothers them). Anyway, I told her that he didn't mean it. It had been a stressful week, and he was tired and cranky. She went into the bathroom crying. I decided to leave. -_-;;; The NT saw me out, and I told him that I knew he didn't mean it, but he came off as very cruel, and he needed to go apologize more.

Apparently, they'd both expected things to get crazy and out of hand. They did not. ^_^ I'm conceited enough to admit that I like being a buffer and a source of understanding. ENFPs are good at reading people and motivation. We see so many possibilities that we could tell you every plausible explanation for a person's behavior with only a little bit of information.

haha. How awesome!

From a post I just made on the intjforum

What do you see in us? I know you already answered this question, but I wondered if you could elaborate. Why would logic appeal to you? Do you find that we're too cold and rigid? Or too withdrawn? Do we make you feel all judged and worried we're about to throw you back if you don't measure up in some small way? Don't you get tired of arguing with us? Or rather, of us arguing with you.... all the time? Do we shut you out? Are we like picky felines who only want your attention when you're trying to check your email and otherwise shun you?

Yes, what is it that you find so attractive about INTJs?

As NFs we seek truth and self truth. The NT brings a different understanding, a different conclusion from data. With that perspective I can make better decisions. It is asymmetric.
Also the INTJs I know are bright and are able to follow me in conversation. They are accepting of new ideas. I like to tear down rules that don't match my Fi, they like to tear down rules that do not match Te. At the same time my Te is also tertiary so I can relate to the INTJs Te.
I'm thinking of my INTJ best friend that I love to call almost everyday. He has a girlfriend now and is going to get married. So he is wrapped up in her. This is what happens when you don't have a girlfriend for 3 years, wrap your self up to much... Now that I don't talk with him much. I feel like a part of my brain has died. I miss that creative logic he brings. Luckily I have an equally brilliant INTJ friend who I can hang out with and make my new logical center of my brain.
Think of it as you are Data and I am the emotion chip. Or the INTJ is a cybernetic logical processing implant. I think of INTJs also like my calculator able to help me process the massive amounts of data my Ne picks up. From politics to history to the girl I saw at the bar.
Do we get tired of arguing with you, no honestly and that is something I just realized. Via your question. INTJs and ENFPs we really don't argue for arguments sake. We kind of have a purpose to our talks either silliness or trying to figure out something. I don't think we care about debating its about the results of the talk, for the ENFP is there harmony in the relationship and did he march closer to self discovery and for the INTJ did he get a deeper or broader understanding or prospective on a topic.

On some level, did you know your INTJ was an INTJ before she told you?

I knew she was an INxx. She was tranquil and calm when we met in a loud party atmosphere. ENFPs and INTJs women are attracted are very attracted to me and when I feel that attraction I know something is up. How often have you seen an INTJ girl make out in public



I wonder if his intuitive feeling is really that honed, if something else had to be drawing him.


Because of MBTI I can look at people and know "s" v "n" it is so obvious now. "S" women look perfect. Eyebrows perfectly trimmed, nails done perfectly, SF women will dress like their girlfriends with minor iterations of style. ST will be immaculate but much less stylish. SF & SJ will wear brand names. I don't think a NT women would be caught dead in a pink rhine-stone Tommy Hilfiger shirt.
When I talk to a girl and she is wearing semi sloppy jeans, or non stylish jeans & a regular or ugly blouse my mind screams NT. Or INFP. When I ask her about her day and she calmly tells me she is in some NT field then it only makes it easier. I can feel people's type. My body reacts when I come around them, viscerally now.

And I know another reason why INTJs like ENFPs so much! We always try to see the best in people, so sincere compliments come easily - and INTJs are never against a good ego stroke :wink:

I think we need somebody to act as emotional translator so that we don't become too isolated. I have very intense emotional feelings, but few people get to know about them. If ENFPs enjoy digging for treasure, then that is reassuring.

Not to hijack the thread, but what about the neglected cousins of the INTJ? The INTP? Remember them? :p

Seriously though, as far as pure analysis is concerned, the INTP is actually better, with dominant Ti. We share Ne with you people, so I would imagine that the common ground is a plus as well. As far as living habits go, we tend to be a lot more laid-back than an INTJ (the ones that I know are anal), and we still have the crazy off-the-wall humour. We're like INFPs who focus the,selves on the world as opposed to people. Ti, Ne, Si, Fe, What is your opinion of these?

I used to be an INTP. My Mum is an INTP, and I have a friend who is too. They're both extremely verbose and indecisive, which irritates the hell out of me. But you guys are also incredibly good at generating ideas, and sometimes that's the most useful thing I can think of.

Anyway, to stay on topic... my parents have a very happy marriage, and I think my Dad is an ISTJ or something like that. She appreciates his ability to get on with things, and he is mostly willing to listen to her loooooooooooooooooong stories.

So maybe you should find yourself a whatevermydadis... ISTJ maybe. If you don't find them too boring.

So maybe you should find yourself a whatevermydadis... ISTJ maybe. If you don't find them too boring.

You can make it with an ISTJ, but I don't recommend it. I speak from personal experience.

Seriously though, as far as pure analysis is concerned, the INTP is actually better, with dominant Ti. We share Ne with you people, so I would imagine that the common ground is a plus as well.

Who would pay the bills? Its funny, when I'm around people who lack Te, My Te comes out. There is like a certain level of disorder that I love and even revel in but at a certain point... Wham Te!

lol. Beware all the IxxP types, then. Inferior Extraverted Judging will have you freaking out in overtime.

I guess by that point, you'd be the one more-qualified to pay the bills, lol

Bills? What're thos-- Ah shit I forgot to-- *Power failure*

Yes, I agree with Crypt. I can't remember things to save my life.

Thoke, how do you be one type and then another? Did you just mistype? I'm slightly curious. Mostly because everything I know about MBTI theory is screaming in agony right about now. :p

Thoke, how do you be one type and then another? Did you just mistype? I'm slightly curious. Mostly because everything I know about MBTI theory is screaming in agony right about now. :p

You must know something I don't. I was under the imrpession that people can change... I used to get INTP whenever I took the test, and now I always get INTJ. I think I learned how to be more decisive.

>.> "Under Stress"

INTP

INTPs lack follow-through and this can isolate their ideas from practical examination. Their notions become over-intellectualized and too abstract to be of practical benefit. With their sharp critical thinking and analytical abilities, INTPs tend to nit-pick, hair-split, and generally overdo simple issues. Their desire for accuracy and precision exacerbates any error they may perceive in themselves or in others - they are, in other words, highly self-critical. Wanting to be competent and know everything, their standards grow increasingly higher. When fear of failing becomes overly pronounced, INTPs are quick to feel unintelligent, slow, and powerless.

If stress continues, the INTP's mind seems to freeze and block out the vital information it has worked so hard to accumulate. Their creative juices stop flowing and they suffer from stage fright, writers block, and a general inhibition of their ingenious thinking and fluent language skills. Preoccupied with performance failure, INTPs become self-consciously distracted in anticipation of their failure. If the stress becomes too overwhelming, the fear of blanking out prevents them from taking risks in areas they desire to succeed in. Attempting to avoid incompetence, they fail to gain the expertise and mastery they so desperately need.

INTJ

INTJs' precision thinking and need for accuracy causes them to be inflexible at times. Having thought out a strategy, the INTJ may stubbornly disregard those who they think have not spent as much time reflecting on an idea as they have. This, along with their drive to produce something significant, can make them demanding and difficult. If their plans and solutions fall short of their high standards, INTJ's feel pressured - as if everything is on the line. "Everything," for an INTJ, is the competence and ability to produce something significant. Fear of not living up to this expectation will increase their stress and possibly dissuade them from risking or trying out their ideas. They may then find themselves thinking about ideas that do not have a meaningful or productive end.

When stress increases, the INTJ can become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, which is not their strength, becomes increasingly difficult for them. Not trusting their own abilities, they become preoccupied with obsessive notions. The INTJ may then find themselves spending an inordinate amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, tempting absurdities, and feelings of worthlessness. Fearful of others recognizing their perceived failure, the INTJ incessantly ruminates about mistakes, inadequacies, weaknesses, ineptness, and incompetence. Because this distracts them from risking what little confidence they may have left in themselves, it therefore keeps them from obtaining the success and achievement they so desperately need.

You must know something I don't. I was under the imrpession that people can change... I used to get INTP whenever I took the test, and now I always get INTJ. I think I learned how to be more decisive.

You are still young. you are still forming.

Posted By alysaria on 06 Aug 2009 07:17 AM
>.> "Under Stress"

Why are you quoting the "under stress" part of the profile?

I do happen to be under stress at the moment.

The INTJ stuff describes me more accurately. Especially: "spending an inordinate amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, tempting absurdities, and feelings of worthlessness."

-swat- don't question my use of quotations. I am the grammar fairy! I shall fill my posts will all manner of unnecessary punctuation as I see fit!!! .?!:;"'