Posted By sbalbom on 05 Sep 2009 01:11 PM
^^ are you like...."i feel. i feel. i feel.... upset?"

Haha, yep, that's me.

Posted By sbalbom on 14 Sep 2009 12:19 AM
We'lp I just broke up with my INTJ girl...

I'm so sorry to hear that!! And here I was, offering advice that you no longer needed. How are you feeling? 

It's never nice to feel pressured, especially when it comes to commitment. But isn't that a common problem for you ENFPs? I don't mean to generalize, but I've come across a few ENFP commitment-phobics. You really are describing a dream relationship sbalbom, it's sad it didn't work out. What do you mean other INTJ girls were got blinded by your Ne?

I'm telling you INTJ-ENFP relationships... awesomeness. Its like a cosine and negative cosine.

O.o I never quite understood how "settling down" is the end of life and possibility. Is she just like "OMG, marry me and be responsible and we'll have babies RIGHT AWAY" or something? Blah

Lets just say there were other reasons to which I can't share with the other 3 billion people on the web. At her age it isn't fair for me to take her time when I know it isn't going to work. I don't jerk around with women in their 30s. I think it is unethical to string girls along.

ENFP commitment-phobics.

Once we get hurt we get like that. But we forget... and settle down again.

You really are describing a dream relationship sbalbom, it's sad it didn't work out.

Do you mean from your end as an INTJ? Please explain.

What do you mean other INTJ girls were got blinded by your Ne?

I mean girls other then INTJs and ENFPs get blinded by my energy. My randomness, my seven projects I keep in the air while reading Greek philosophy and bringing them to the biggest parties in Dallas. INFP girls kind of get intimidated by me or they are judgmental. Like I'm too flashy of a light. like a cat chasing a laser beam,

It seems that INTJ girls love the light I give off. Like they can't look away. A cat stalking a mouse toy. Like I'm Hallo2 to a 12 yearold or a tennis ball to a golden retriever. Or a rubix cube to an INTP.

I think my Ne overwhelms them and they don't like it (non intj & enfps) kind of hurts their eyes. Then again I only know two intj females.  INTJ males and I are like auto-friends.

My bad sbalbom, you said non-INTJs got blinded by your Ne I read that INTJs get blinded by your Ne and didn't understand why we'd get blinded since we love the randomness that goes on in your heads  Do you have any experience with ENTJs? How did that go? 

Yes we do love it, we love your warmth and enthusiasm, your randomness and crazy ideas. And your ability to connect with people so easily. We love it and we admire it but at the same time we're a little bit jealous of it. I'm so serious in comparison to you guys. It's quite exhausting to feel that you have to do your best, be the best and know everything and be on top of things at all times. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you get the gist of it. My ex-INFP boyfriend once said: It's okay to be wrong sometimes to me when I'd made an error. And I thought, no it's not all right at all...  It's like you balance us, see us, accept us for who we are and at the same time, make us really feel, or at least help us connect with our feeling side. It's very exciting!

Auto-friends made me laugh! I see what you mean by that though. I have a few female ENFP auto-friends as well. I feel very fortunate and rich having so many ENFPs in my life. You are a rare breed and I also feel greedy holding on to so many...

To me it sounded like a dream relationship that you gave her puzzles to solve and she helped you with that. We live for new puzzles! We like that you lean on us and take our view into consideration with the choices you make. We love feeling included and important.

Do you have any experience with ENTJs? How did that go?

Aha, so you were worried about getting caught in some kind of power struggle and competition?

Yes, kind of. First let me say there is a weird dichotomy being an F guy with a T girl in a in a relationship. Women, T or F are attracted to strong decisive men. But of course they, and everyone need the emotional connection of F too. Being an F guy its hard to know when you are exhibiting to much F. The ENTJ was upset with me because I wouldn't commit and started pushing what she could get away with. Women do this to disqualify men because if they know if they can push them around or violate boundaries then they aren't the men of  high status. High status men don't tolerate violations of social mores. So she was trying to sabotage. When women act in such immature ways its such a turn off to me. But I could see her moving from a harmless cub with claws (23) to a lioness and eventually being able to push my buttons.

It was funny. Later she told me she found me attractive because I didn't find her intimidating. She said being 5'11 and in hi heals she is 6'2, and being very bright she overwhelms most men. After laughing I said something to the effect of "you are a 23 year old girl there is not one thing about you I find threatening." But I know in 10 years she may be able to push me around. I could see a relentlessness in her.

It is weird because INTJs have this same kind of relentlessness or even a more narrow focus of it but, it doesn't seem to conflict like it would with an ENTJ I just can't explain it.

It's funny (to me) that you say that adulthood happens at 22. Is that because you can't buy liquor before the age of 21?

in the US thats when children graduate university and hit the brutal real world.

Yes.. kind of